I don't know if it's b/c you're a woman (I hate to play the gender card, but man, it's used often!), but I find that retailers and sellers in general often give women less respect. And I can't tell how many ladies of color are out there on this forum, but people of color get it all the time too, man or woman.
They don't fulfill needs that you want, and then after giving you something you don't want, they try to talk you out of your original idea. It all depends on the person. One bike shop I went to: the guy was great, and I bought some shoes. He was friendlly and knowledgeable. The LBS is great too (well the owner es.). But then I found myself in one of the biggest stores in NYC for sports ,and the seller was a total tool. Was barely concerned with helping me and not addressing my issues. Next store: even worse! Had a seller ARGUE with me when I asked for MTB pedals for a tour rather than road. Very obnoxious and aloof.

You know though? I used to be the type to scream and yell, but now I just quietly demand and hold my ground. Once they realize you're not going away, that you WILL be that thorn in their side before they change their tune, they usually acquiesce. STAND YOUR GROUND. To me, success is reserved for those who are persistent.