The Naming of Bikes

[KnottedYet]

The Naming of Bikes

(with apologies to T.S. Eliot "The Naming of Cats")

The naming of bikes is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your long-commute games
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a bike must have three different names.
First of all there's the name that the riders use daily
Such as Juju or Oscar, Miz Cakes or Flames
Such as Blue Streak, Green Hornet, Stink or Go-Gaily
All of them sensible bicycle names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound faster
Some for the components, some for the frames
Such as Zephyr, Flosshilde, Hermes and Blaster
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you a bike needs a name that's particular
A name that's quite unique, and more dignified
Else how can it keep its head tube perpendicular
Or spread out its handlebars, or cherish its pride?
Of names of this kind I can give you a pannier
Such as Shimaluupp, Quaxo, or Serracopyke
Such as Campalorina or else Jerrafloyer
Names that NEVER belong to more than one bike.
But above and beyond ther's still one name left over
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the bike itself knows and will never confess.
When you notice a bike in profound meditation
The reason I tell you is always the same:
Its gears are engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of its name.
Its ever so pedal-able
Sleek and incredible
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

[CyclChyk]

Impressive! I like it.

[ColleenT]

when i was a kid( age 10) i would pretend my bike was a horse and i called it Duchess. LOL. funny name for a red 10 speed.

i have not really thought about naming this Blue bike.

[mimitabby]

hey, that's great! I guess i have to look up T S Elliott!
thanks for sharing.

[KnottedYet]

MimiTabby - there is a whole collection of Eliot's cat poems illustrated by Edward Gorey. "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats"

My copy is really old, but the ISBN is 0-15-668568-X

Here's the Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=br_ss_hs...0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

[mimitabby]

I searched for the poem and found it on line. (And I vaguely remembered it from years before)
thanks for the book reference, I have a small collection of fun cat books.
(Including cats in love)

m

[Bad JuJu]

Hey, Knot, you're a poet! Who knew? I love the way you parodied Eliot (whose "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" has been on my bookshelf for decades!)
Nice use of all our particular bike names, too--very personalized. But I especially love the last three lines--all those wonderful adjectives.

Hey, Colleen--When I was 8 or 9, I named my turquoise bike after the imaginary dog I'd had when I was 5--"White Shadow"--hah!

[ColleenT]

ok, since i usually curse a blue Streak, i think i'll call it the Blue Streak! LOL

[KnottedYet]

And now "Blue Streak" is in there with Juju and Oscar and the others!

[ladyfish]

Excellent! I like the name Blue Streak too! Great.

Thanks for the poem, Knotted!!!

[Bikingmomof3]

Great poem! My bike is still nameless.

[SouthernBelle]

When I got my bike I had not intended to name her, but Black Beauty just came to mind and stuck. Thus, continuing our literary bent.

Isn't 'Old Possum's Book...' what the play "Cats" is based on??

[DebW]

For those who can't give their bike one name, because a bike is really so much more.

What is a bike? A collection of parts.
A frame and a fork are where the bike starts,
Melded together with a headset of course.
And then there's the crankset,
the levers and brakeset.
Handlebars, brake levers, tape, and endplugs -
Stem to connect them to steering tube and head lugs.
Bottom bracket so vital, connects tubes down and seat,
and holds quarter-inch bearings the crankset to keep.
While crankset holds pedals for shoes that have cleats.
Plus chain and cassette make the drivetrain complete.
Derailleurs for shifting the gears cog to cog,
and cables and levers, gear ratios to jog.
A saddle for holding a TE rider with agility,
and seatpost for giving it adjustability.
Wheels, oh yes, a bike must have two,
But further decomposition now is due.
For wheels are composed of hub, spokes, and rim.
When built with good tension, they tend to stay trim.
Front wheels are symmetric, rear ones are dished
with two or three cross, built as you wished.
And hubs contain axles, bearings, and cones,
with grease in the middle for smoothness of tones.
Washers and locknuts attach to the axle,
then quick release skewer on dropout to shackle.
Wheels must have tires, rimstrips, and tubes.
Cables and bearings must have their lubes.
Brake have their pads, anchor bolts, springs,
Cranksets hold spiders, bolts, and chainrings.
Parts multiply, they never get fewer.
Bikes must have dozens, nothing is truer.
So if you can give you bike just one name,
Then I'm happy for you, but I can't do the same.

[KnottedYet]

oh, YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!

[Kitsune06]

SWEET!

You ladies have inspired me. So while I'm sitting at work today (all too soon! Blargh!) I'll write something on the naming of bikes. =)