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Thread: Bitter Sweet...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Shelbyville, KY
    Posts
    1,473

    Bitter Sweet...

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    Yesterday was the last day of school here and I was so looking forward to the summer. My students and I discussed our plans and each time they asked me what I was going to do I told them "ride my new bike." I even pulled up a picture of it on my computer to show them my exciting new purchase. Yesterday afternoon I received an email from my BF telling me my new Bachette Giro 20 frame had arrived safe and sound and to make plans to join him Wednesday at the powdercoating shop to pick out a color and have it painted. Now I must decide on a color, so many choices so little time...

    At the same time I came to the realization that my beloved cat, Max, had taken a turn for the worse and the decision I had been dreading had to be made. I called my bestfriend/vet at 8 p.m. last night and asked her to meet me at the clinic to put Max to sleep - he was in so much pain, so uncomfortable. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor in April and we had been controlling it with high doses of oral steroids. Earlier this week Max scratched his corneal and a large ulcer developed. We tried several medicines but unfortunately the ulcer continued to grow as did Max's discomfort. At the same time it appears the tumor again began to grow and cause pain in his good eye. Between the tumor and the eye Max's quality of life quickly deteriorated and last night I had to fulful one of the promises I make to all my animals - "you will never suffer." So last night Max's beautiful soul flew free and I came home to cry and cry and cry. I know I should be very excited about new bike, the start of my summer vacation and yet I feel none of that at this moment, just pain. I know with time the pain will subside and life will resume with a sense of normalcy but the hole in my heart will remain for Max was a very special cat and he touched so many people.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    North Andover, Massachusetts USA
    Posts
    1,643
    Pets are very special 'people'. While you clearly miss Max, it sounds like it was time... I hope that your memories of the time Max spent with you serve to lighten your sorrow. (Of course, a new bike should help too...)

    --- Denise
    www.denisegoldberg.com

    • Click here for links to journals and photo galleries from my travels on two wheels and two feet.
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    "To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone."
    (quote courtesy of an unknown fortune cookie writer)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    54

    Tough times

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through as my 18 year old snoopers is hanging in there but the time is near.
    It is hard to lose a best friend--big kitty hug from both snoopers and me..

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Israel (Middle East)
    Posts
    1,200

    Unhappy

    so sorry
    cats are special creatures

    All you need is love...la-dee-da-dee-da...all you need is love!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    I'm the only one allowed to whine
    Posts
    10,576
    I'm sorry for your loss. You made Max the best promise ever when you told him he would never suffer.
    "If Americans want to live the American Dream, they should go to Denmark." - Richard Wilkinson

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Arlington, VA
    Posts
    1,999
    I'm so sorry to hear about Max. What you did was courageous and selfless, putting him out of him misery. I hope you find comfort in your memories of your kitty.

    Luna Eclipse//Terry B'fly
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Florida panhandle
    Posts
    1,498
    Oh that's such a hard thing to do, but the right thing nonetheless. DH and I have always agreed to do the same for our pets when the time comes, when, as you noted of Max, their quality of life has deteriorated beyond our control. I hope you really are comforted by the thought that your dear friend is now free from pain. And I'm sure he'd be happy to know you're enjoying life with your new bike.
    Bad JuJu: Team TE Bianchista
    "The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress." -Roth
    Read my blog: Works in Progress

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    45
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your Max.. My ferret had a tumour and we did the rounds of oral steroids. So hard with something so slow and insidious like that to know when... I just wanted to extent my full empathy. Sometimes it feels impossible to do right by them, then they're gone and you can't even snuggle them for comfort.

    I'm glad you did right by Max no matter how hard it was for you. I'm glad the vet was a close friend of yours too.. and that Max got to end his time surrounded by people who loved him and he was comfortable as could be in the setting. Sorry the Happy and the bitter coincided for you.. But glad you'll have some summer down time to recuperate in and a new bike to throw yourself into in the mean time. So sorry about Max... I know you'll always miss him but I hope you find normalcy in your life soon. Take care of yourself.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    the foggy wetlands,los osos,ca
    Posts
    2,863
    Oh man! I started to tear up! I am soooo sorry for your loss. But he is not in pain anymore and that is the main thing. I had a friend who had a really hard time making that call and the poor animal suffered because she wanted him to stay. I told her it was not fair. And that we are being a bit selfish when we do this. I was being harsh with her only cause I have been there. Now I know better and if my loved one is in pain and all avenues have been taken with no help it truely is the nicest gift we can give.
    A moment of silence for Max........................
    Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
    > Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    the foggy wetlands,los osos,ca
    Posts
    2,863
    Do you have a picture of Max so that we can see what the handsom boy looked like? In your own time of coarse.
    Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
    > Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    somewhere between the Red & Rio Grande
    Posts
    5,310
    I am so sorry for your loss! My dogs are my babies, my inlaws can't understand when I tell them we don't need kids right now. I have made the promise to never let them suffer, so I can imagine being in your shoes one day.

    Sorry for the bittersweet day, but it sounds like Max went on in peace. Take care.
    Amanda

    2011 Specialized Epic Comp 29er | Specialized Phenom | "Marie Laveau"
    2007 Cannondale Synapse Carbon Road | Selle Italia Lady Gel Flow | "Miranda"


    You don't have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great. -Lee J. Colan

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    325
    My deepest sympathies to you. My own beloved Great Pyrenees, Eddie past away last month.

    Sometimes it feels like our pet friends only get to dance on the earth a short while. Your pal would want you to enjoy your new bike, which you will in time. Hopefully riding will help ease your pain.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,867
    How fortunate was Max to have you as his human. My sympathy to you.

    Karen

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    1,485
    Oh, Mak... I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and hoping that the joy that Max brought to your life will be a comfort to you in the days ahead.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    North Central Florida
    Posts
    3,387

    I'm So Sorry About Max

    PAW-PRINTS
    (S L Smith)

    Paw-prints in the sands of time,
    Tracks along an empty beach,
    Towards a fate which is not mine,
    A destiny out of my reach.

    You've gone where I will some day follow,
    But for now you're out of sight,
    Your years with me was time just borrowed,
    Before you returned to heaven's light.

    No longer in my sight, you vanished,
    Through the veil of time and space,
    In my memory you are cherished,
    Ambassador of feline race.

    Time and tides sweep clean your paw-marks,
    Another's paws will tread anew,
    But you carved paw-prints in my own heart,
    Eternal love-prints, etched by you.

    One day I'll see your paw-prints glowing,
    Sparkling in the morning dew,
    Guiding me at my time of going,
    Leading me sunwards, back to you.




    IN MEMORY
    (Melody Collier)

    Little cat, in a distant sky
    Where mice are friends and bluebirds fly,
    Where pain is forgotten and you can pass
    With leaping grace over green, green grass;
    Little cat, will you catch a star
    And wonder, a moment, where you are?

    Little cat, in a distant land
    Where nothing can harm you as you stand
    And gaze at the clouds, so pure, so white;
    And all is glad with a fresh delight,
    Little cat, in your newborn years,
    Will you spare a thought for my falling tears?
    ***********
    "...I'm like the cycling version of the guy in Flowers for Algernon." Mike Magnuson

 

 

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