"Not A Real Athlete"?!?!

[Dianyla]

Wow, this really blew my mind and I have to vent a little bit.

I was telling the ManFriend about the new Polar heartrate monitor that I picked up on ebay, explaining how I planned to go find the biggest hill I could get up and see if I could find my maximum heartrate. He asked how I would know if I hit the max and I said "I'll probably puke or come real close".

He didn't believe me, saying in all his years of athletic experience with baseball, basketball, etc (which, gentle reader, keep in mind that these years all took place in High School which was nearly two decades ago!) that he'd never seen anyone puke from overexertion. "Never ever?" I asked. Nope, never. I informed him that I'd seen it plenty of times with sports like swimming, cycling, and running. He finally started to acknowledge the remote possibility that this could exist when I did a quick google search terms like on "vasovagal reflex" "heart rate puking" "overexertion vomiting" and brought back thousands of results.

And here's the kicker... then he went on to say that he's a real athlete and he knows about these things. I asked him "don't you think I'm a real athlete?" and he said "No, not really". Um, hello? Last summer I did numerous centuries and a double-century, and the summer before that I went on a 500 mile backpacking trip.

I mean, WTF?!?!?! I'm not sure whether to feel upset or just laugh at him for being such an idiot.

Gals, do your traditional-manly-sport-loving partners also pull this kind of crap on you?

[Grog]

By ManFriend, do you mean your current Significant Other?

If so, I find the comment really sad, and that's because I'm in a good mood, or I'd find it insulting.

My own SO is much, much more of an athlete than I am and will ever be (he's also more obsessive!), but he never fails to express his pride in my own achievement (like learning to swim by myself in three months and doing my first tri etc.). I'm not sure I still have the balls to claim "athlete" for myself (never considered myself a sports gal and still have identity issues surrounding that!) but he sure would argue against me if he knew that's what I think.

My core training coach keeps telling us that, in her view, we're "elite" athletes even if we're not actually "elite". (She does train pros though.) To her, there's so, so few people in the population that can do even a fraction of what we do, we should be proud of it. (Like: standing on all four on two exercise balls... how smart do you look when you do that?!?!)

[SadieKate]

Take him to a triathlon in hot weather sometime. Folks vomiting all over the place - especially the weaker sex (aka your friend's brethren).

[Dianyla]

By ManFriend, do you mean your current Significant Other?

Ah, yes, that's who I mean.

I'm not sure I still have the balls to claim "athlete" for myself (never considered myself a sports gal and still have identity issues surrounding that!) but he sure would argue against me if he knew that's what I think.

I thought about that too, whether I feel comfortable with the term athlete. I kind of do and I kind of don't. If I think in terms of Lance Armstrong, then in no way am I an athlete! But if I think in terms of the average couch potato, then maybe I am. I would definitely consider myself athletic, though. His definition of athlete that explains why he obviously is an athlete and I am clearly not an athlete is that an athlete is someone who plays "real sports" (i.e. team sports that involve a ball). Um, ok.

[Grog]

an athlete is someone who plays "real sports" (i.e. team sports that involve a ball). Um, ok.

Frankly I don't think baseball players, by definition, qualify as "athletes". Some of them do, for sure, but.........

Besides, even basketball is not a continuously all-out cardiovascular exercise. I doubt that very many people reach their max and stay there for a while, playing basket.

[allabouteva]

Before I took up cycling, I thought I was reasonably fit, did quite a bit of gym work, and exercised regularly for over 2 years. Then I tried cycling, and found that I could only do about 20 minutes, couldn't climb for peanuts, and stayed only in granny gear. Now 6 months later, I can ride for over 2.5 hours, go up significant hills, and can ride much faster for much longer, and crank some big gears too. I'm way fitter due to cycling! My non-cycling friends think I'm a bit of a super fit athlete!

D, you need to explain to your ManFriend, that he's so off base in his comments to you. You're a bona fide athlete. All cyclists who can do centuries and double centuries are by definition. This is not stuff that the average person on the street can do, or even people of reasonable fitness (people who walk 30 minutes a day 5 times a week) can do. And from his comments to you about him being an athlete and you not, sounds like he's a bit of a wanker (good old Aussie term! do you have that term in the US?) Sorry hope you didn't take offense!!

[velogirl]

I struggle with this question with many of my coaching clients (especially the women). Here are a sampling of some questions I ask them:

• Do you schedule your training?
  
• Is that training specific and structured?
  
• Do you monitor your caloric intake and the ratio of macro-nutrients (aka carbs, protein, and fat)?
  
• Do you measure the amount of fluids you drink on a daily basis?
  
• Do you maintain your equipment and clothing so you can participate in your sport?
  
• Do you get enough sleep so you can ride?
  
• Have you read a book, watched a video, or taken a class to learn more about the sport of cycling?
  

I think you get the picture. If you answered yes to even one of these questions, I would consider you an athlete.

It's difficult for many women, especially those of us pre-Title 9, to consider ourselves athletes. As girls, we were taught to be humble. Athletes aren't humble, right? We were taught that being competitive isn't feminine. But athletes are competitive, even if our competition is a local hill or a personal best time or completing our longest ride. We were taught that a beautiful body isn't muscular. Heck, you've all got muscles, even if they might be hidden under a little more adipose tissue than an elite athlete!

You do not need to be a racer to be an athlete. But for those who ride regularly, I would encourage you to be proud of your athletic accomplishments! And if someone questions that, just smile and know that there are other beautiful women cyclists who believe in you.

Lorri

[Nanci]

Maybe Manfriend should ride a Century with you to see if it's an athletic endeavor! Then tell him, "Now when I do these, that's the halfway point!"

He certainly has to concede that Lance et al are athletes. The difference between you and Lance is less than the difference between you and a non-cyclist.

I've puked at a race- the 5k where I set my PR for that distance. I could see the clock from 3 miles, and knew I had a shot, but it would take everything, and then when I crossed the finish, I still could have been ok if I could have kept moving, but a vol wanted my tear-off, and that was the last straw, stopping. Luckily, there was basically nothing in my stomach.

Sometimes I feel like I don't get as much respect from BF as I should, because my speeds are slow and because I'm not an Ironman...But then he's pretty quick to discuss nutrition and training strategies!


Nanci

[seagrape]

That's funny! I've seen people throw up from exertion- come close myself. If I may be honest, he's probably just threatened by your athletic prowess and is (unconsciously) trying to negate your success... As someone else suggested, have him ride a century- or two- with you, or throw him in a pool and see if can do repeats of 100s on whatever time and see how he does!

But then, again, Freud I'm not

My DH knows better than to say such things- I'd bop him right in the nose!

[nuthatch]

What a great thread! Thanks for posting your list, Lorri - it really gives a person some definition to what athlete means.

I would never have thought of myself as an athlete until my sister-in-law came along (she runs every day and raced in her youth). Now she has MS and struggles to maintain her daily fitness but she still feels she is an athlete. Isn't it amazing how a title like that can make you feel all daring and powerful!? Things I wouldn't have tried before, I do now, because in my mind I'm an athlete too.

[Veronica]

I'm with Seagrape, bop him on the nose, after you ride a hilly centuy with him.

V.

[Trek420]

I'm with Veronica, take him on a hilly ride and pass him wearing this

[Veronica]

I also want to know what's he doing now that makes him a real athlete? Or is he a former athelete who just fondly remembers his glory days?

V.

PS I STILL think you should bop him on the nose!

[fixedgeargirl]

Dianyla, if your friend's definition of an *athlete* is so limited, I'd be tempted to write him off as a semantic twit ! I am curious to know what he would call Lance Armstrong or my friend Mike Curiak who has won Iditabike more than once or my friend who just co-set a world record for amount of vertical gained on skis in a 24-hour period (50,000ft )?

I am now embracing the title of athlete for myself. I don't race, nor do I have a training plan. But I do get (and need) regular amounts of aerobic exercise. I engage in a few activities to achieve this. I am fit, and loving it! After years of denial, I have recognized this as a part of me. It was a long, hard time coming, but I'm glad I'm here. Thanks, Lorri, for posting your list. What an awesome way for us to regard ourselves!

I used to scoff at the idea that NASCAR drivers were "athletes". Then I saw a show about the amount of strength it takes to handle those machines and the amount of physical training those guys do. Changed my own definition of an "athlete".

[SadieKate]

For after the ride while you're waiting for him (can be purchased at www.girlbike.com)