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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,982

    So she cried again

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    Maybe I just don't how to react except plough along ahead.

    Today I was in a planning meeting with my supervisor. Then when we got to topic about planning more details, she said I don't like frustrating you. You seem to want to plan well, know a lot, etc. She was crying and kept talking, saying that she doesn't know why she cries. I didn't ask her out right why she is cries whenever. But I simply politely talked through with her and suggested: "You know, you could delegate". Thereafter we figured out something where I could be at certain meetings with her and support her.

    Now this is almost 2 yrs. later this has happened... again. I thought by now she had wrestled down her insecurities or whatever it is. My post during that time in history here: http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...ghlight=crying

    She is an experienced supervisor but she is managing part of operations and services, where she doesn't have trained expertise like myself. That's why my role exists.
    She is over 50 (close to my age).
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know whatís in a personís heart.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    northern Virginia
    Posts
    5,845
    Has this happened often, or just two years ago and then again recently?

    If it doesn't happen often, it could be emotions from something unrelated that bubble up at the wrong time. I've had that happen to me -- something minor makes me burst into tears, and the real cause was something unrelated that happened in the recent past and took a while to surface.

    - Gray Trek Madone 4.7 road bike, mystery crack in top tube repaired by Calfee, Bontrager Affinity RXL saddle
    - Red Trek 6000 mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle

    Gone but not forgotten:
    - Silver Trek 2000 road bike
    - Two awesome and worn out Juliana saddles

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,982
    You may be quite right, ny.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know whatís in a personís heart.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Flagstaff AZ
    Posts
    2,521
    I'm guessing she has a lot of stress somewhere in her life and probably not with you. I hope she has someone to talk to about her issues.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,982
    Maybe, she has just placed her mother in nursing home. I have a father who's dying of cancer...she knows that.

    I dunno, she looked disturbed today, when I got excited about an area ..skills related that I have/like and she doesn't know much about the subject expertise area. You know what I'm really sayin' about what's happening here...

    Look, I've been a manager/supervisor in other jobs and found the best way to deal with strong, expert staff was....to let them shine in their areas of expertise. I'm tired of ***** footing around but anyway....

    My partner at the most unexpected times, when I tell him of yet another work related incident, tells me: "You are dealing with an insecure manager." And my response has been: "Interesting that you say that. She sounds very strong and assertive, etc."

    What frustrates me is the simplest things I expect of a manager, simple business planning from a management perspective, coordinating multiple projects...is not what she is doing at all. She doesn't know how to. She's very good at tackling the immediate issues placed before her. And she's played supervisory roles for the last 20 yrs. My partner who was with an oil firm, said that there was a big difference between strictly operational managers vs. managers who know how to do business planning, project planning. The final assertion surprised me: Isn't that what management is?

    It's ok, I can live with this. She has other good qualities. It's just that it drains my energy and morale when I see things which could be easily solved with some foresight and vision.

    Life moves on....too bad I have to wait for retirement in a decade.
    Last edited by shootingstar; 03-12-2014 at 05:42 PM.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know whatís in a personís heart.

 

 

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