Problem with Significant other on bike trails.

[kajero]

My SO goes riding with me. I love it that he goes. But . . . he refuses to follow bike trail rules. If he didn't ride with me, I doubt I would go because I don't like to ride alone.

I have told him a million times that when he stops he needs to get off the trail. He goes to the far edge of the payment, but doesn't get off the trail. He says there is plenty of room for other people on the trail to pass him. I almost crashed into him one time when he stopped on a trail while we were going uphill.

He also sometimes rides over the yellow line on the other side and I have to keep telling him to stay on his side. He says it is okay if no one is coming.

He will not say, "on your left." He does ring his bell, but I don't think anyone can really tell where he is.

He gets upset with me when I won't pass on a curve. If I can't see around the person and I am not going to pass until I can.

Yeah, I know I crashed my bike on a trail last year, but it was not because I wasn't following rules. It is because I was incompetent to ride with that group. I have to ride a lot more miles before I try to ride with them again. They have had some casual no drop rides, but I haven't even ridden with them then.

I have discussed all the above with him many times, but it just falls on deaf ears. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

k

[Caren]

I completely understand! My SO is just starting to ride and our boys who are 4, 6, and 8 are wanting to ride more to. I'm happy to ride with them on trails but none of them will follow any "rules". I know the kids are kind of young, but they are extremely well behaved and normally listen well, but they can't seem to keep from cutting each other off, stopping short in front of me, not letting you know they are passing or just riding all over. I don't get mad, I just won't ride with them. I've even tried getting them to do only one thing at a time like all staying to one side of the path but that's just proving to much. I think my SO thinks I'm getting a little "bike-nazi" on everyone, but I don't want to wreck and injure myself or damage my bike and miss out on my 100+ miles a week of me-time riding because of some silly accident with them.

I'd like the kids to ride more as they get older and would love it if my SO would really take up riding, though with his bad back I doubt it, but I just dislike riding with them now. :-(

[thekarens]

I have a similar problem. The way I handle it was too just tell her how I feel without being accusatory or judgemental. I explained if she insisted on riding too fast or in what I considered an unsafe manner we'd have to ride separately. Not a big deal because there's lots of people in our club to ride with.

This worked well for us. When she feels like "taking it easy" she rides with me. The rest of the time she rides with a faster group that isn't as much into the rules.

Personally I don't enjoy road riding alone. It's not as safe IMO and it can be boring. MTBing on the other hand I'm happy to do alone. It takes all my attention and concentration.

[Veronica]

I think you need to be a bike Nazi with your kids. Unless they are the only ones using the trail, being on the wrong side can lead to accidents. It's amazing how much damage a kid's bike can do at low speeds to a steel frame.

Veronica

[OakLeaf]

I don't have a good solution either. Along with Muirenn's thread about the wet shorts in public ... DH got a road bike a couple of years ago and I really wanted to encourage him, but I wound up being really discouraging to him because it was in equal parts terrifying and infuriating. He rides like a 9-year-old boy, up and down on sidewalks, in and out of traffic, hugging the curb. It's bad enough when you're in a group of experienced cyclists with testosterone flowing (and that is pretty dang bad). When someone doesn't have the skills, and when the massive trove of traffic awareness they have from hundreds of thousands of miles on motos goes right out the window when they don't have a motor underneath them ... I just won't ride road with him. Tootling around on our commuters is as good as it gets with us, sadly.

[Skippyak]

I would get off the trail and ride on the road. Trails here are not for road bikers. I might cut through a trail to avoid roadworks or something but I pretty much tootle and expect stupidity and children and horses and skateboarders. He is riding like that because he isn't taking it seriously which is fair enough on a trail. Does he have a road bike?

[rebeccaC]

You can't tell a SO what to do and expect to maintain a good relationship; you have to ask, and accept it if they say 'no.' If it bothers you that much, perhaps you should find a riding partner more in tune to your riding habits.

I ride alone a lot. I've never found it a big deal to be alone.

I've had thoughts of using a 2X4 across the head for a few guys I've known but I've found your approach to work better for ME

[goldfinch]

I would get off the trail and ride on the road. Trails here are not for road bikers. I might cut through a trail to avoid roadworks or something but I pretty much tootle and expect stupidity and children and horses and skateboarders. He is riding like that because he isn't taking it seriously which is fair enough on a trail. Does he have a road bike?

If I recall correctly I believe kajero lives in a large community where there are many paved trails used by all kinds of cyclists, including roadies. Most of the trails have a separate lane for walkers. They are very, very busy.

[kajero]

Thanks Goldfinch. You are right about where I live and the trails.
Note: My SO is 82 and rides an e-assist bike. They are not motorized and you have to pedal to make them go. He doesn't like to ride on roads because of his age. I am working on trail etiquette with him. It IS getting better.

[aviatrix58]

Train until you're faster than him and then drop him on a ride.

[Skippyak]

Note: My SO is 82 and rides an e-assist bike. They are not motorized and you have to pedal to make them go. He doesn't like to ride on roads because of his age. I am working on trail etiquette with him. It IS getting better.

I think that is rather pertinent info. At 82 others can cut him a break. If he has got to 82 by being a little ornery, he has done OK.

[kajero]

Train until you're faster than him and then drop him on a ride.

How am I going to do that? He beats me up all the hills. LOL

[goldfinch]

Kajero, we should go for a ride sometime. In August I will be in your area a number of times.