Another TE Baby over The Bridge

[Aggie_Ama]

I have been a little quiet on the boards lately but some of you may remember photos of my little white schnauzer, Heidi. Two years ago she hurt her back, no clue why but miraculously she mostly recovered after some hospitalization. She wasn't 100%, she couldn't fully squat to potty and usually tinkled on herself, her legs shook if she stood too long and she could no longer get on furniture. But she was happy and still liked to play and snuggle.

Wednesday night out of nowhere she hurt it again. This time was much worse, she seemed to lose bladder control, if she tried to walk her back legs would just drag, she'd run into walls and was in pain. My brother is dating a vet who told us we could give her aspirin until I could get her to the vet. Thursday I worked from home and my little strong girl who never cried whimpered much of the day, she also bit me three times which she had never done. We took her to the vet and he told us there were some options of pain killers and anti-inflamatories but with spine injuries it is a guess if it would work. We have been trying to get our finances back on track and canceled all credit cards so we didn't have money to throw at maybes. Plus with her not having any bladder control, her legs looking like they were kind of twisted over (hard to describe) and having been crying for nearly a day I felt it was selfish to try to make her better when the vet was not optimistic she would have even the level of freedom she had. He told us we may possibly have to express her bladder daily, this just seemed like it was unfair to her so we ultimately thought it was time to painfully say goodbye.

We had to put one of our dogs to sleep 4 years ago and while it was painful it was nothing like this. Thursday after we lost her I cried myself to a migraine. Two days later I am still very emotional, tear up, I miss my Heidi Ho so much. Yesterday my boss sent me home because he could tell it was too hard on me, I ended up sleeping for 5 hours. Our other little guy, Jens, keeps looking for her still which breaks my heart. I know she had a great life, I got her at 12 weeks when I was a junior in college. She was the first thing my husband and I owned together (we were engaged). She never got very big, only up to 8 lbs and when we lived in apartments it would crack me up to watch my 6'2" husband walking with this little dog. Heidi was tough too, she wasn't a yappy little dog but she was an alpha dog. My Mom had a Rottweiler and Heidi was her best buddy but Heidi ruled the roost when she visited. It was hilarious to watch. I know it will get easier but right now I can't imagine when. To say this sucks is an understatement. The photo below is her on 6/19 after her last grooming, she always was so happy after a day of pampering.