Teenage Son Riding Problems

[Bethany1]

I went for a ride with my son and realized he's a danger to society on a bike. He's weaving in the center of the road while cars are trying to keep from hitting him. He's doing circles in the road up by the stoplight backing up traffic as he's waiting for me to catch up. He refuses to wear his helmet..he takes it off when he leaves. He's flying by intersections not even paying attention to cars and nearly got hit out by the house doing his "circle" thing. When I yelled at him afterwards he kept insisting that there wasn't a car at all despite his friend claiming the same thing. When I confronted his friend he spilled his guts about my son's behavior and admitted he gets yelled at by passing cars.

He rides 1/2 mile ahead of people which explains why my daughters won't use their bikes after talking with them. They are scared to go with him. He did the same thing with me and I couldn't yell at him or catch up to let him have it until we got home. I nearly died a thousand deaths on that trip.

He's lost his bikes for now, but I can't tell you how tempting it is to take them back and get me a really nice bike via a trade. I feel sick that I've spent nearly two thousand dollars on a mountain bike and a street bike for him only to find out he's doing this via his friends, my kids and now me.

How do you knock sense into a 15-year-old? His excuse is, "Well, we have a right to the road too, you know."

He's going to have a rough summer since I've taken away his bikes and he's lost his Xbox for at least a week. He's also lost his driving for now. He has his temporary license but if he can't ride a bike responsibly, why let him drive a car?

There aren't safety classes out in the middle of nowhere or other cyclists that can share their knowledge of being safe.

I mostly needed to vent. I should take him up to the local police station and let them give him a reality check.

[Velocivixen]

I don't have kids, so take this with a grain of salt. You could tell him that if he cannot demonstrate safe and responsible riding abilities with his bike then he definitely cannot get his automobile driver's permit/license.

Our major trauma hospital in Portland has a program called "Trauma Nurses Talk Tough" with various programs that will scare the sh*t out of most folks. It's graphic and you definitely walk away thinking about things a lot more.

[tulip]

See if there is a bicycling class offered by the League of American Bicyclists in your area (they are "in the middle of nowhere") and make him take it.

He may have a right to the road, but he doesn't have the right to be an self-centered azzhole and to put his life in danger and his family in a position where they (you) could quite conceivably have to deal with tragedy. Maybe you should tell him that.

The trauma nurse idea is a great one. Or make him volunteer in a brain injury clinic or workshop.

[redrhodie]

What about getting him involved with a group? He'd have to follow the rules, and would learn skills to make him better/faster, etc. He might even find it fun.

I found this club in NE:

http://greatplainsbikeclub.org/index.html

[lph]

Find him a FB page or a newspaper article with bikehating comments. Maybe that will help him understand that even though he "has a right to the road too", cyclists have to behave even better than drivers in traffic to survive.

Actually I think taking away his bikes and driving privileges should do a lot. Until he can demonstrate safe riding or driving he has no business on the road. It's a privilege you have to earn.

My son, soon 14, has a thing for riding handsfree. He's good at it and he likes to show off. Deal for now is that he can do so on the bike path or on logging roads, but not while passing anyone, and if we catch him doing it on a regular road he's in trouble. He's one of the few kids in his class to wear a helmet... Maybe because he saw his dad get a bad concussion from riding once without one, maybe because he knows that I know his friends, and will find out if he tries to skip it.

[shootingstar]

Wow, Bethany.

A hospital might have an outreach public education program for safety purposes to preven traumatic injuries..like what tulip suggested.

Somehow my gut tells me that not all 15 yr. boys are like him, if he consistently behaves in a way which means grounding him (ie. unintentionally by bike theft) and other stuff.

at his age, it would be great there was a male cyclist who is a decent cyclist but safety conscious ...no more than 25 yrs. old or so. Any older would make all adults whimpish in his eyes.

How fit is he? Could he go on a long ride with you? I think young people might benefit on a longer ride with an adult...they get tamed at bit by focusing on their cycling skills...to survive the ride.

Maybe not right now, Bethany. But abit later ..

I know this sounds like an incredible suggestion, but one day have him teach a child how to ride a bike....then he MUST learn those safety rules.

I hope he reaches to that level of safety awareness. It'll take time. He must learn to trust himself....by first his parents trusting him.

This is Ryan Leech who has been a world-ranked trials cyclist.
The video is him about cycle commuting.
http://thirdwavecyclingblog.wordpres...on-ryan-leech/

He has a cool, laidback attitude that has enormous appeal to kids and teens. He is a professional and goes across Canada to teach show some of his tricks, but more importantly it's his way of teaching children how to channel their daredevil tendencies to: working hard at something that you love, to become better by aiming towards a goal. He uses cycling and reaching competence as transferrable lessons to life...for children and teens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SmraauvxN4

For any parent it is heart-stopping what he does, but remember the message he is sending: PLAN and focus on what you are doing. Pay attention!

Is your son aware of this guy? Don't be afraid. Ryan has worked hard to reach where he is. He is also..into yoga and offers classes at Interbike.

yea, cool guy. Just a great role model for wandering youth.

[shootingstar]

I really don't mean to stupid about this. But your son is capable of being trusted....then after parent entrust him baby step-wise with lots of safety rules, etc., turn the table on him make him have someone TRUST him ..someone younger than he.

[Biciclista]

seems to me you should have knocked sense into him a long time before he hit 15. Has his behavior changed so much since he turned 15?
I like your last idea.
PS I like Shootingstar's idea too

[Crankin]

The idea of finding a younger, male cyclist (of any type) who follows the rules is a good one. See if the nearest cycling club has a juniors division.
My son was a Cat 4 racer at age 15 and he would have loved to have been a role model for someone. He was, for one or two younger kids. Being a good cyclist definitely made him a good driver. DH took him to the RMV, he got his permit, and he drove home from there on the same winding, hilly back roads he rode on.
I'd be furious, too.

[Bethany1]

Thank you for all the suggestions. I did go through the links and found some great ideas and help. You all are wonderful.

He's pretty responsible for the most part which is why it shocked me at his attitude about cycling.

I'm pretty sure he learned to ride a bike this way from the guy that he rode with last year. He was trying to lose the 100+ lbs weight for the army and probably didn't care about the rules of the road leaving my son with some very bad habits.

[Biciclista]

Then if your son is not like that in other aspects of life, I don't see why you can't just sit him down and explain to him the rules and responsibilities of being on the road.

[OakLeaf]

When you're done with him, can you beat some sense into my husband? Is it just a guy thing that they have to ride like seven-year-olds?

[zoom-zoom]

I'm kind if a mean mom, I guess. I'd be inclined to let the police know about his antics, just as I would were he a reckless driver. His is not the only life he puts at risk.

[MCAP]

Where in Nebraska are you? There are some really great clubs around with super talented and super responsible cyclists.

[mariacycle]

When you're done with him, can you beat some sense into my husband? Is it just a guy thing that they have to ride like seven-year-olds?

When you're done with both of them, knock some sense into the excess T-counters that cross one of the busiest roads in my town at 20 miles an hour (cutting off cars in an extremely busy intersection) and then stop to curse the cars out for not stopping... which is by the way illegal for the car to do (had that question answered by a policeman). So technically it's illegal to stop and tell them that what they're asking you to do is illegal!! For years I've seen this happen and it's always men although the trail has plenty of women.