Commuting when the kids are older

[celticgarden]

I would like to start commuting again but need a sounding board. Kids are 10 and 14 now, able to peacefully hang out on their own for reasonable periods of time. DH still works a 2nd, I work "day" which gets me home by 4 - 4:30. We keep the schedule as it allows him to be there summers, days off school. He leaves 2:30pm.

My question is what other commuting Moms do. Leaving kids by themselves for short periods is no prob. But with a car I can get to them "quickly" should something happen. With a bike not so quickly. I don't want to live in fear. If something "major" went wrong they would know to call 911. We live in a pretty tight neighborhood, we know everyone and kids can reach out to them if necessary (policeman on one side, detective across, good people in other spots).

Am I over thinking this? My commute is only 7 miles one way, part of which is a path beside Route 95, the rest weaving through typical hilly New England coastal neighborhoods. I'd allow 45 mins for the commute to start, car is 20-25 on the way home.

Your opinions welcome!

Linda

[Crankin]

Well, some might disagree, but I say, why don't you try for one day a week and see how it goes. Realistically, if the kids had a *real* emergency, like someone was hurt or a robber was banging down the door, they would call 911 and getting there in 20-25 minutes as opposed to 45 wouldn't matter.
I started leaving my own kids alone, for half an hour to an hour when my oldest was 10 and the younger one 8. The oldest one had completed the Red Cross babysitting class and was quite responsible. They absolutely refused to go to the babysitter up the street after school, until I got home from work. I worked 40 miles away, so my commute, although all on the highway, was about 45 minutes. They were fine and we never had one incident. Although, they later told me about a few incidents where they did things I would have screamed about, like jump off of the back deck into the high snow banks . Both of my boys did a ton of babysitting, starting at age 12, and the second one actually bought his first mountain bike with the money he saved from babysitting. He took care of 3 kids at once, one who was 5 months old; I have no idea how he learned to change a diaper, but he did plenty of that.
The bottom line is, if you trust your kids, give them trust. At fourteen, I wouldn't think about it, unless my kid had done things to show me he couldn't be trusted.

[Tri Girl]

I agree with Crankin. They are at the age where they can be left alone for short periods without too much worry. I would try one day a week, then up it from there as you feel comfortable. If you feel that you have reliable neighbors and you know the kids can handle scary situations with a 911 call- then it seems you are good to go.
I think seeing you set a priority of living healthy and riding to work provides an immeasurable good example for your children (not to mention showing you trust them by leaving them alone)!!

[Melalvai]

I love these replies. I was afraid the responses would be "How could you even think about leaving your precious ones by themselves?" or "Parents are so overprotective, I can't believe you're even worried about it." Opposite responses that are both judgmental & rude.

I like the "try it & see" approach. I know that my sister & I had plenty of hair tearing fights and we made SURE parents' didn't find out because they had too many other worries and there weren't any options; the jobs were an hour away. But that doesn't mean anything because every set of kids is different.

[Biciclista]

In an emergency, you could take a cab! I think your plan is excellent. Go for it!

[Tri Girl]

In an emergency, you could take a cab!

Excellent idea- one I hadn't thought of! Or, if need be, I'm certain a co-worker would happily drive you home in an emergency.

[celticgarden]

Yeah, I'm one of those independent Yankees, never think about asking for help. You've reminded me that when I was musing about this last year a coworker (and VERY dear friend) did say of COURSE you would take my car!

My son (the elder) has taken the red cross course and my daughter is mature in her own right. This seems more of a case of convincing ME that I can fly a little. So many years now of ALWAYS rushing home from work etc.

Of course the try it a little and see makes sense. I've been creating a list of the things I need to make the commute happen. Like getting a headlight/taillight, getting my old Specialized (MTB) a tune up. And then I started thnking of the money we could save in GAS! That could add up.

Thanks, I'm happy I have rediscovered these boards. You're a great community

[Becky]

Does your area have a ride sharing program? If so, check with them about emergency rides home. Our ride sharing program offers this free service for carpoolers, bike commuters, and transit riders- all you have to do is register with them.

[marni]

Go for it- I would bet that an equal amount of us started for caring for sibs when we were about that age, without the benefits of red cross baby sitting courses, cell phones, 911 or share rides and cabs.

I was nine when my mother went back to school one afternoon a week and I started caring for my baby twin sisters. By the time I was 11 I babysat them three afternoons and two evenings a week in addition to cooking dinner for my father. It will give them a chance to grow, and discover a bit of preplanned independence.

[Crankin]

And what Tri Girl mentioned about setting an example about living a healthy lifestyle is really important. My friends may have thought I was crazy with all of the exercise, but my kids saw and listened and now live the same lifestyle.

[celticgarden]

Thanks for the additional thoughts/comments. I agree about setting a good example, letting them have some responsibility. And there are plenty of people that would help me out with a ride if needed, not just the one friend. Think it's a go if the ice ever melts around here. Limited about how much moola I can spend to gear up for cold weather riding. Am pricing lights of course 'cause I'd hit the road 5:30 am. Love the internet for all the reviews. Gotta get SPD pedals and shoes. Over the years got rid of the old ones I had.

The one bike store owner I chatted with one day predicts this Spring to be very busy due to the rough winter we had. I have to agree, everyone I know has cabin fever.

cheers Linda

[Tri Girl]

as far as investing in cold weather gear- you might laugh, but the first year I started commuting during the winter I went to the thrift store. I bought a wool sweater (a thinner but 100% merino wool sweater), a pair of wool pants, and an Old Navy down jacket (all at the Goodwill). I wore the wool sweater over a base layer and under my down coat and the wool pants I wore over my thin tights I already had. I was PLENTY warm and didn't even look too unfashionable. My winter commuting outfit cost a total of $14 and it worked for a whole season.
You don't have to spend a lot. The biggest expense I incurred was getting a good taillight ($25) and a good headlight ($40). I bought reflective 3M tape and put that on the spokes.

Anyway- just saying you can get by for pretty cheap if you don't need to have the top of the line gear.

And BTW, 2 seasons later I still wear that down coat and the wool sweater for my winter commutes. I have a pair of really thick tights I wear now instead of the wool pants. But I still think the wool pants were warmer.

[PamNY]

as far as investing in cold weather gear- you might laugh, but the first year I started commuting during the winter I went to the thrift store.

That's exactly what I did when I first started biking in cold weather. And now is the time to visit thrift stores, as sweaters and such are on sale.

[blackhillsbiker]

Thrift stores, Sierra Trading Post, and 6pm.com got me through the first winter of commuting. My kids are proud of me. I'm less stressed, and therefore a better mom. Go for it!

Deb

[celticgarden]

Ha - placed an order last night on amazon AFTER checking out my bike. So go figure, I still have the combo SPD /normal pedals. I must have commuted last summer no clips, no SPD shoes. Bad memory. But that's great, 1 less thing to buy. No clothes in this order, I take the same approach as all of you: use what you have or buy cheap. I'm definitely no stranger to Goodwill.

I DID order a woman specific saddle and decent shoes (keen springwater, bucks of course). Also reflective tape, tailight, headlight. I don't want to take a chance not being seen and of course want to see the road. My mirror stinks so will need to replace that soon.

Biggest expense were shoes and headlight but hey, someone told me this morning that gas will go up to $5 a gallon this summer. Was thrilled with USB headlight recharge ability, that will put the work computer to more good use.

Would like to get Mr. Tuffy liners. Need to minimize the chance of flats.

17 degrees this morning....brrr!