disappointed rant..

[hebe]

I was going to blog this, but I think here is probably a better place.

I mentionned to dd's God-parents (great long-standing friends of both dh and I) that I was hoping to ride with dd in a trailer on-road later this year. They were both genuinely horrified that I'd even consider it. They're not cyclists. They live in London, whereas I'm in the country, so there's a bit of difference in terms of traffic. Round here the traffic is used to tractors and horses and carts, so is rather slower, and I would be hugely careful about mitigating any risk by taking some more instruction, practising on quiet roads, planning routes carefully and staying well within my capabilities. It's not as if we live in a risk-free bubble anyway, and I really want dd to grow up with choices to the car available to her.

I've spent a good hour this afternoon looking at UK accident stats, and it seems that cycling is signficantly safer than walking or driving. If I was learning to drive I don't think they'd have been in the slightest bit worried. I'm quite sad about it, they'd be the first people to encourage dd to be independent but I'm disappointed that they think I'd willingly be risking dd.

sigh. Thank you for reading.

[Crankin]

Ignore them. You said it yourself: they are not cyclists.

[Bluetree]

Ignore them. You said it yourself: they are not cyclists.

+1.

I rode through the UK and it's actually one of the better (safer) places to ride. I rode from London, thru Wiltshire and Somerset to Devon (Teignmouth), then went back and north thru Gloucester and Cardiff before being stopped in Shropshire because of horrible weather. There really is no comparison to the aggressive/angry drivers and some subpar road conditions I have to deal with in the States.

You live in beautiful country – don't let old fuddyduddies deter you from seeing it on two wheels!

[redrhodie]

Yes, non-cyclists often don't get it, and it can be surprising when it's someone you think would understand. I think your dd will love it, and you will find it safe, fun, economical, and useful. Go for it!

[lph]

ah, sheesh, it's the "cycling is incredibly dangerous" reflex kicking in. Isn't that annoying...

We got the same from my in-laws. We rode our bikes everywhere, they talked about it with awe and amazement. We had a baby, they helped us buy a trailer, we rode everywhere with him we could, on closed roads, quiet streets, bike paths and sidewalks. I overheard MIL "bragging" to some friends in a shocked tone about how we "took him in the trailer everywhere, right out on the motorway in all the traffic and cars!"

At the time I flipped and went all righteous and pontificating on her, but it's just that she had never had need to differentiate between the risk level on the motorway and on a quiet residential street because she drives her **** car everywhere.

[limewave]

I pulled DD in a trailer all the time before DS came a long. My parent's completely flipped out about it. They eventually learned to bite their tongue. We'd often do 30 mile rides. I even brought DD along to a weekly women's group ride.

We have the burley solo, which seats only one and is therefore narrower--we could really hug the side of the road.

[hebe]

Thank you for all the replies.

Bluetree, your journey sounds wonderful. Teignmouth is so beautiful and you passed through such stunning places. I live in Wiltshire, near Avebury. I should say that they are two of the least "fuddy-duddy" folk I could imagine - considerate, loving, assertive, widely travelled and adventurous. I was honestly stunned by their opinions.

Limewave, we were looking at the Burley Solo too. It's encouraging that you had so much wear from it. lph, Crankin, Muirenn and RedRhodie, thank you. With such limited experience it's sometimes hard to tell if I am being over-ambitious, especially after such a bad start with the bike seat , but we only get one go at raising a child, right? She absolutely adored the Burley that we had on holiday and we enjoyed riding with it. I can also hire bikes + trailers locally so will have another go before committing the cash.

Thank you again.

[PamNY]

I can't speak as a parent, but speaking as a former child, I'm glad my parents were somewhat adventurous.

Have fun with your travels!

[PinkBike]

that was a really nice thing to say PamNY. +1 to everyone else.

[Jones]

I think when people are scared they like to blame the activity instead of admitting to the fear themselves. It is so much easier to say bike riding is unsafe then to say I am scared to ride a bike in traffic. I don't think your friends meant to offend, I think they are scared to ride a bike.
Jones

[Biciclista]

ps, bottom line, they're your kids!
we want to see pictures!

[Melalvai]

Sure it's disappointing now, but think how amazing you'll feel when they have a complete turn around because you opened their eyes to a whole new world.

[isconniethere]

There are some good books out there on the subject of bikers taking their children biking, including cross country rides, such as books by the
"Metal Cowboy", Joe Kurmaskie. I heard him speak about the cross-country trip he took with his boys and it was a great experience.

[Bike Writer]

Hebe, I have family members who ride with their tots in buggys behind the bike and have been doing it for quite a while since she has three little ones. The oldest now rides his bike and his lil sisters are in the cart. We live in a semi rural area that has a bit of an urban component as we have a small downtown with shops and stores but no high speed traffic through town.

I can understand how people who don't cycle don't understand it and it may sound very scary to them. I bet it's all the worse because they are friends and obviously you value their judgement because you chose them for Godparents, so I can see how this would be disturbing. Naturally you would want them to embrace the idea and they are not doing that. In the end you are the parents and perhaps in time they will accept and support your venture with your daughter. Sometimes people just need time to warm up to an idea. Also letting them know that you value their opinion so much that you have checked into safety stats will send a strong message to them about your friendship and your concern for the safety of your daughter.

You're a good mom and a conservative parent, have fun introducing your daughter to this and watch her love of outdoors and cycling bloom.

You need your alone time on the bike and time spent on bikes with family too. Who knows, maybe when the Godparents visit you may all go for a ride someday?

Have fun! Your daughter is a lucky little girl to have a mommy that wants to share her joyful passion with her.

[blackhillsbiker]

When oldest DD was small, she went everywhere on the back of DH's bike. We just got her an adorable, bright pink helmet. I wish we had been able to get a trailer when we had twins three years later. Our cycling stopped until the kids were old enough to join us on their own bikes. Of the three, the oldest is the only one who continues to cycle. I think it is because of all the lovely memories of the three of us and our cycling when she was small.

Deb