Awwhhhh, I wish you were in Oregon not Ohio, I'd have my mom help you. She does amazing work and scores a lot of gigs out from underneath guys like that. Funny, she also gets a lot of clients who trust her more cuz she's female.
I feel you though, after our awful move to Bend (truck delayed for weeks, recycling the same clothes over and over) my mom's GF decided we should have a contractor remodel the kitchen. It would be faster, she reasoned, than my mom working her 9-5 and then working on the kitchen. Yeah, it wasn't. I got soooo sick of takeout and microwave food, ugh!!!
But, now mom is a licensed contractor, yay! And if I do say so, she rocks.
"True, but if you throw your panties into the middle of the peloton, someone's likely to get hurt."