question re: bra fit

[ny biker]

Ladies, for regular bras (not sports bras), does the band leave red marks going across your back?

I have a terrible time finding bras that fit me. They're always too tight here, too big there, digging in on the sides of the cup, etc. I spent a lot of time today in Nordstroms and Victoria's Secret working with salespeople who both swear I'm a 34B (or maybe 34A). But I already own several 36As that are uncomfortably tight across my back. After several hours wearing them, I'm desperate to take them off. The only ones that fit me comfortably are the simple elastic-band style (with no molded cups or any padding at all in the cups) that I can get in a 38A. Unfortunately those are no good in summer under lightweight cotton shirts -- I need padding to minimize the headlights.

I wound up buying two 36As at VS that were the closest to fitting properly, at least in terms of cup size. However after wearing one of them for about 45 minutes here at home, I had red marks on my back from the band.

The salesperson at Nordstroms tried really hard to convince me that it's normal for the band to leave marks. Is this true? Are you really supposed to wear it that tight? Also you can see flesh spilling over the band on my sides which to me makes it look too tight. And it's not a question of needing to lose weight -- I'm down to skin, bones and muscle in this area of my torso.

I've looked for extenders but they only come really wide -- wider than any bra comes close to fitting me -- so they look ridiculous under a summer weight shirt.

I'm pretty much at the end of my rope here -- it's so frustrating that I literally wind up crying every time I go bra shopping (which, p.s., really freaks out the salesperson). I'm really not happy spending all this money for something that is so uncomfortable, and I'm tired of salespeople trying to convince me I'm a 34 when a 36 hurts so much.

BTW it is virtually impossible to find a 38A, and when I do, they're too big in the cups.

So what's the solution? Am I just a freak?

[marni]

i ran into the same problem and just wear sports bras. I have lost enough weight now that I look like I have two fried eggs which are sliding towards my belly button so I could go braless I guess but.... If you can go to champion sports they might have something that would work.

marni

[yellow]

No, you are not a freak...but there aren't many of us, to be sure. I measure out at either a 36 A/AA or a 38 A/AA (and 36 and 38 AA do not exist!). Most of the time the A cups are too big for me, same as you. I have kind of a big rib cage and some serious lats. I couldn't breathe if I tried to wear a 34 anything. When I am at my normal level of fitness, my pecs stick out as far as my boobs. I kid you not. I remember the fitter at Nordstrom measuring me multiple times because she just couldn't believe that anyone could have that big of a measurement around and essentially no boobs.

I pretty much gave up and now just wear camisoles. Doesn't help with the headlight issue, but I also figured out that I just need to stay away from solids and try to wear prints. Helps disguise a lot. I don't even own any bras any more. It took some getting used to at first, but now I can't imagine going back to a bra that just doesn't fit.

[rubywagon]

i ran into the same problem and just wear sports bras. I have lost enough weight now that I look like I have two fried eggs which are sliding towards my belly button so I could go braless I guess but.... If you can go to champion sports they might have something that would work.

marni

+1.

I am recommending the Handful bras they sell here on TE, again. I have given up on ill-fitting/uncomfortable bras and only wear these now. They have the feel of a sports bra, but with a great shape, and headlight hiders. I have never worn such a comfortable bra in my life, and they are so flattering.

[PamNY]

No, you aren't a freak. I have similar issues. I don't think you should see marks -- maybe only a faint mark, anyway. Flesh shouldn't be spilling over.

I hate bra shopping, too. Since I started biking I'm working on upper body strength and even the piddly little muscles I've developed are making bra fitting harder. Good luck; wish I had some suggestions.

[Selkie]

I have fit problems with bras, too. Luckily, Calvin Klein and Wacoal make a couple styles that fit me (32B, but a barely B).

Agree with Greenbeam about the Handful bras. They are my weekend bras, and I've worn them to work a few times. I've found that the pads help when I'm wearing blouses with darts, too. They also solve the "headlight" issue. These bras are very comfortable.

[Bike Chick]

Nothing's more miserable than an ill fitting bra......even a correctly fitting bra is uncomfortable to me. It's one of the first things I remove when I get home at night. Ahhhhh!!! I don't think any bra should make red marks on you regardless.

VS bras have never fit me well. Even in my younger, thinner days. I went to Dillards last year and got a bra fitting. All these years I thought I was a 36B but the very nice sales lady came carrying in 32 and 34D bras after she measured me. I thought she had lost her mind but it did make a difference. She pointed out that breast tissue goes all the way under your arms and taught me the old lady trick of bending over, reaching inside and shoving everything to the middle. It made a huge difference in my comfort and fit. And I don't have red marks. Maybe you need to try a different bra fitting.

[Crankin]

Go to a real lingerie store. They know their stuff.
I buy the Calvin bras in 32A. They are just a teeny bit snug in the band, but I learned that a 34A is really a B cup, so those were huge on me. These bras are the cheapest and best fitting ones I have found.
I wear the Handful riding and running, but not sure if I would like it all day.

[ny biker]

I went to a real lingerie store a few years back and they had nothing that fit me.

Googling around, I've found a few more, but most of them state up front that they specialize in large cup sizes.

There is one open today in the Maryland suburbs so I'm on my way there now. I don't have much hope of finding something that fits, though.

I also found a website that sells different bra extenders than the ones I bought yesterday, and it looks like they have the right width extender for the bras I have.

Sigh. Finding a properly-fitting garment that almost every in this country wears every day should not be this hard.

Thanks everyone.

[mhami]

I'm another one who has that problem. However, for me it is 38 too tight, 40 good. Thirtyeight has Bs and 40 doesn't. Arrgg. Pre kids I was a nice perfect 36B, now I am frustrated.

The bra extentions sound like a good idea. I'll have to look into that.

Also, I don't know anything about these, but will Pasties help for those of you who don't wear a bra?

[Ana]

Go to a real lingerie store. They know their stuff.

+1

Go to a knowledgeable lingerie store instead of VS

Bra sizing, like all womens' clothing, varies by manufacturer Also, the traditional sizing system is to determine cup size by the difference (in inches) between the rib cage measurement right under the bust and the fullest bust measurement but after being fitted by a specialist, I realize that it depends greatly on the shape and spacing of your breasts. By conventional methods (inch difference), my cup size is completely wrong and has been for some time--two or more sizes off Luckily, I found someone who fit me well and carried nice bras in my size Her knowledge and skills helped me find some bras that work wonderfully for me (for the first time in my life!)

[ny biker]

Okay, today's shopping trip was actually a success! The store was Sylene of Washington, located in Chevy Chase, MD (just north of the DC border, near Mazza Gallery for those of you in the DC area).

I bought several of these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

It's not exactly what I wanted, for the same reason I was hesitant about the Handfuls bras -- the band is very wide in back, and I would prefer something prettier. But the wide band makes it very comfortable and it has removable cookies to provide coverage and a little bit of shape. Under a thin t-shirt, it looks very smooth and pretty much invisible. Also it's very inexpensive. So it should work very well for everyday wear.

I can't find a brand for who makes them, although the woman at the store said they are not specific to that store. But if anyone wants to try them, you could order them online.

I got them in white, black, beige (which is slightly different -- no lace), gray and purple.

The woman at the store was very helpful. Unlike the last time I went to a (different) lingerie store, she did not try to convince me that I should wear a bra with underwires because the pain is all my imagination -- as soon as I started to say that I have never been able to find an underwire bra that didn't hurt, she said she could tell that was the case because I have a high rib cage. (And here I've just been describing my ribs as "weird" for all these years). She measured me as a 36, but did not argue when I tried one style in a 36 and it was too tight -- she could see it as well as I could feel it. She also was very good at emphasizing the positive things about my shape while acknowledging the hard-to-fit aspects -- unlike other stores where they act like there's just something wrong with me if I'm not happy with the size they think I should wear.

I also bought some extenders today, because Sylene had 2-hook extenders that are narrower than the ones I found at Victoria's Secret. And just for fun, I bought a pair of these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

VPL is not a big issue with most of my clothes, but they could come in handy sometimes.

Another thing I tried today but didn't buy was these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

I tried on one 38A bra that was pretty and fit across the back, but the cups were too big. We tried these cookies to fill things up better, but they didn't fill up enough for that particular bra. However, I might buy them to see if I can get some of my old bras to fit better.

This store also sells swimwear, so I might head up there someday to see if I can find a swimsuit that actually fits me. But I've spent enough money this weekend, so that adventure will have to wait...

BTW if anyone is looking for extenders in different sizes, these are the ones I was considering buying before my shopping trip today:

http://www.herroom.com/Braza-5000-Cl...xtenders.shtml

And there are also these:

http://www.herroom.com/Braza-5002-Br...tml?cm_vc=0201

Anyway, thanks again for all your comments and support (no pun intended...).

[Grog]

I'm so glad you had a good experience!

I think there is no better place to buy a bra (or three!) than a real, independent lingerie store. There are two really good ones here in Vancouver where they have a lot of stock from previous years, so if you're looking for, say, 36A you have not only this year's models but also previous years'. It's worth paying the extra $$ for me.

Which reminds me that it's been a while since I have bought some proper underwear. I'm overdue for bra shopping.

[ny biker]

I just tried two bras that were unwearably tight with the new extenders -- they're now comfortable!

And I tried them on with a thin summer-weight t-shirt, and compared them to the new spa bras. The spa bras actually give a smoother, better look.

So I'm even happier!

BTW the extenders I bought are the Braza brand that I had found online at herroom.com. The ones I'm going to return to Victoria's Secret were a different brand -- they would have worked fine if the they had been a different width. But Braza sells 2-hook extenders in two different widths, which made the difference.

[marni]

back when I was a dancer and going braless we used to use a bandaid on each taata to cover up the nipple. Personally my are so old and shriveled, it's not much of an issue.

I have to fight the bullet and find a strapless bra to wear with the new dress I bought for son's upcoming Phd graduation and wedding.

there are no indipendent lingerie stores in the area so I will be stuck with Macy's, Sears or Penny's- I might wait until I get to California. I can wear the dress braless but it will look better and hang better with a bit of something.

Sigh.......

marni

marni