bean-pole babes

[Miranda]

Well, the short of it is... I am not feeling like one here lately. *sigh*

Since my Fall century crash, p.t. recovery, holidays, etc. I'm up about 8-10#s-ish from my in-season riding weight. So, gotta work on that coming off. BUT, here's a kicker...

I teach Spinning at my gym. I've picked up more classes since winter. I just seem to never be re-covered enough to get my "me time" ride in. And starving straight out just sux. Plus, my body needs fuel to ride-teach.

I truly love teaching. But, I'm just at this plateau between in-put & out-put. However, for the first time ever... I feel this pressure to be thinner--for professional reasons. (There are some really skinny teacher girls at the gym, and a lot of watching what you do as an instructor... has it's own weird cult.)

I do not like that feeling at all. I can't imagine how Hollywood celebs must feel. It's like the feeling is sabotaging me mentally to get the weight off.

It's hard to even describe it. But, it's like part of me goes on "break" when I'm done with my teaching. I find myself eating some junk I should not be. Besides I feel like my body needs food to perform.

I know we have a lot of variety on this board. And supportive peeps for sure. How am I gonna get this crazy block out of my head!

[Veronica]

You are what you are. You need to learn to be happy with yourself. I think for some of us it's an on going battle. You can't go through life comparing yourself to others. All you can do is be the best YOU possible.

I will never be a twig. But my last body fat testing came in at 18.9%. That gives me 119 pounds of lean body mass. There are lots of chicks who weigh less than that... so what. I've achieved some things I never dreamed possible. I'm going to make the best of what I've got and have fun doing it. You should do the same.

Veronica

[shootingstar]

The whole class can't be like that..bean pole cultish, insecure, etc. Or is it?

Ah, heck Miranda I learned long ago I can't be/don't want to be blonde beautiful, never want to dye my black hair blonde (but some Asian women do, for Pete's sake) ... so there are ALL types of things that could easily pull down a person. ..besides "wrong" weight/size. Many things that person cannot genetically change.

Of course, this has nothing to do with your cycling competence..which is the whole point.

If you're working out the class well and some students look /comment on how it's benefitting them..then that's the best compliment to a teacher.

Have you asked any of these students if it's helping them?

[XMcShiftersonX]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I used to be really skinny because I was under a lot of stress and felt nauseous all the time and ended up losing a lot of weight unintentionally. But over the last couple of years, that has subsided and I've been riding a lot more. I've gained about 10 pounds, but I'm actually happier with how I look now, because riding has made me way more muscular. I may look at myself and think I'm thicker, but it feels right, because I know if I was as thin as I was before, I would never be able to do the things on my bike that I do now. I'm proud of my body because of how it powers my bike. I don't know if that perspective helps at all. I think the most important thing is that you're healthy, and that you're able to do the things you need to physically. Also, if you're recovering from an accident, know that your body will fluctuate throughout your life because of different circumstances, and it's okay. I think most of us are probably harder on ourselves than is necessary, and we are good enough, even if we don't feel it. Probably my other bit of advice would be to not take for granted what you have now, because it can easily be taken away from you, and things could be a lot worse. But I'm sure you realized this after your accident.

-Jessica

[NbyNW]

When I learn that a fitness instructor has their own experience with injury and everything that comes with getting back to where you were before the injury, I tend to read that as a kind of "street cred." Those are the instructors I want to take classes from -- the ones who know firsthand about the pain, and how it affects your entire being, not just the injured body part, and how it can be a very long, slow process. But that's just me, and I tend to take classes that are smaller so that I can communicate with the instructor about adjustments I can make to what we're doing if an issue with my injuries pops up. Which is probably why I don't take spin classes.

I don't know what the dynamics of a spin class are like, but IMHO if all instructors were expected to have a certain physique, I would imagine that could be intimidating to some people in the class. Do you get to know your students at all? Do they get to know you? Do you have time to hear about their fitness goals and tailor the workout to those goals? Or do people just get in, spin, and leave?

I guess what I'm getting at is that you might be able to find some creative way for this struggle to help you grow as an instructor and to inspire your students not to quit on their own goals and struggles.

Good luck!

[lph]

I don't what it's like to be an instructor and have your body "critiqued" directly or indirectly. But my take on it is this: for every instructor that is not a bean pole, you have a whole lot of people taking or watching the class who feel at home and take heart that you do not have to be uber-skinny to be fit, or to wear work-out gear in public. This is what people look like. This is normal variation. As is grey hair at 40 for that matter, or A-cup boobs on many women, all of which we forget if everybody tries to hide it or change it.

You're the best possible role model if you can inspire people, work on getting fit and getting them fit, and show your love of teaching without being the skinniest one there. You can even crack jokes about it, if that suits your personality.

[OakLeaf]

I don't know if it's one of the first things I read in the ACE Instructor Manual, or just one of the first things that really jumped out and grabbed me: as an instructor, it's important that I project a positive body image. Whenever I'm around my participants, I just shut down those negative thoughts. And over time, the thoughts don't come as often, either.

On the other side of it - and not saying that you're even one of these - but there are a couple of instructors at my gym whose body fat percentage is rather high. Before I became an instructor, as a participant, I just loved the way that they projected that someone could be very fit without being a beanpole. And I loved the fact that my gym didn't succumb to stereotypes of appearance.

(((((((Miranda))))))) I know that there are still levels where you love your body. Let your head spend more time on those levels, and less in the destructive places. This is part of your healing from your wreck too, and it deserves the same energy and caring that you devoted to your physical healing.

[Crankin]

Miranda, I have been there. And during a time when it was *expected* that an instructor be very skinny. When I see pictures of myself from when I was teaching, I cringe. I weighed 90 pounds and my body fat was like 12%. Oy.
Can you drop some of the classes you are doing? I know how hard you worked to get the classes, but it seems like you need more rest days, so you can actually ride outside. I find that the older I get, the more rest and active recovery I have, the easier it is to lose or maintain my weight.
As far as the gym goes, it is true that the participants do look at everything about you. But, you are human. Do you talk about your crash, the rehab, and your struggle? I would think most people could relate to that. Personally, I never cared what the instructors looked like, as long as they taught safely, etc. I don't belong to a gym anymore, but the one I did belong to for 12 years had instructors of all sizes. I loved teaching beginners and I think it's important for them to see instructors who look like regular people.
I also get very hungry after riding. One thing that helps me is that I don't keep any junk food in my house. The only choices I can make are good ones. I've found that if I eat a Luna bar right after I ride (or ski or run), that takes care of most of my needs.

[ny biker]

I took a spinning class once. The instructor was trim and fit. But the class was terrible and I never went back.

There are personal trainers at my gym who are very muscular with low body fat. They're also jerks and I wouldn't work out with them if it was free.

Believe me, I notice what instructors look like, but an extra 10 lbs on one of them would not make me avoid them if they were good instructors.

Also: http://www.amazon.com/Nancy-Clarks-S...6770216&sr=8-1

I think this book will really help you.

Make sure you eat well during the day. Meaning breakfast, lunch and snacks that have enough calories to fuel your activities and are comprised of healthy foods. Otherwise you will wind up overeating and eating the wrong foods, especially when you are tired, which is what you're experiencing now.

Good luck!

[Miranda]

Thanks so much for your posts and support. The perspective helps.

The thing that made these thoughts come to "a head" in my mind was some instructor training-meeting I had to attend. The training teacher is one of the head instructors. She can teach any class, mainly aerobics dance & rarely spin. But, much loved, and a total Barbie doll.

How we should dress and conduct ourselves came up serveral times in the training. And "wearing fitted clothing to show our physics", as it was put, etc. kept coming up.

The majority of teachers wear make-up when they teach, and I know base their clothing even on "looking cute" to teach class. Uh... me, I have my Buff holding my sweaty hair back, not looking model sexy... I figure we are working it from the neck down.

OK, the fitted clothing does show our form. Which I wear my indoor bike shorts, and a fitted tank (very hot in spin room even with fans). But, I pick my clothes on technical performance, not because it "looks cute". For some I think it's a way to win the cute aerobics girl teacher popularity contest. That is not me. Nor is being a Barbie doll in any manner (natural red head).

One of my direct bosses is also a cyclists (not the teacher that did the training). Very accomplished team racer back in her day. And we joke that we do not fit the bean-pole babe class at all. It was just me thinking that part of management was saying we "should be" bean-pole babes in our cute clothes.

On getting to know my peeps in class. Yes. I am probably one of the best at that. And my die hard regulars know all of my struggles, crashes, etc. I agree with what's been said that they do honestly respect that.

My weight and how I look, minus my bean-pole counterparts, is good healthy average fit--normal folks. My cardiac fitness is very good still, despite being less than my peak training prior to the crash.

It's just the meeting situation comments, and how I know quite a few talk out of the meeting (about one another etc.). That made me think, "uh, is someone trying to tell me something here that I don't know about, or what?".

Plus, the gym members do recognize you... and what else you do for your fitness. I have rode with the club outside before--harder than originally planned, and then had to teach class that night. I would *never* confess that to my students. And management has talked with some instructors who work out AFTER they teach--to be seen by students. Because... some think in order to be fit... they have to be you. Well... guess that's where being the average weight chick probably does help my class in a way.

OK... that helps my mind... think I gotta find a way to put the Barbie-Girls outta my head. And lose my weight for ME... to be lighter cycling my hills outside, versus feeling like I'm conforming to some pressure that's unrealistic. My TE friends rock. Thx.

[shootingstar]

One of my direct bosses is also a cyclists (not the teacher that did the training). Very accomplished team racers back in her day. And we joke that we do not fit the bean-pole babe class at all. It was just me thinking that part of management was saying we "should be" bean-pole babes in our cute clothes.

On getting to know my peeps in class. Yes. I am probably one of the best at that. And my die hard regulars know all of my struggles, crashes, etc. I agree with what's been said that they do honestly respect that.

My weight and how I look, minus my bean-pole counterparts, is good healthy average fit--normal folks. My cardiac fitness is very good still, despite being less than my peak training prior to the crash.

It's just the meeting situation comments, and how I know quite a few talk out of the meeting (about one another etc.). That made me think, "uh, is someone trying to tell me something here that I don't know about, or what?".

..................................................................................................

OK... that helps my mind... think I gotta find a way to put the Barbie-Girls outta my head. My TE friends rock.

Great that already there's another colleague who rejects the Barbie doll fuss look-as-instructor.

So alot of the instructors wear face makeup when teaching and sorta working out? Sigh..we have discussed here in TE forums in the past about whether or not some of us wear makeup when we work-out on the bike. It only makes sense if one is cycling to work..in regular clothing. But then I haven't worn mascara since my early 20's. No eyeliner either. Wearing foundation while I'm cycling is off-limits, does not help my skin breathe nor sweat properly. I get obsessed about not staining any clothing with makeup anyway when changing clothes in a hurry.

So glad to see many Winter Olympic women athletes who don't seem to be wearing any or hardly any makeup as soon as they finish their competition and are interviewed by the media on the spot. Think of these ladies instead.

It's great though that you are a spin instructor..it may be assisting you in your road to recovery after your accident.

[Miranda]

Thanks, ShootingStar... those are some good thoughts!

[tangentgirl]

She can teach any class, mainly aerobics dance & rarely spin. But, much loved, and a total Barbie doll....

It's just the meeting situation comments, and how I know quite a few talk out of the meeting (about one another etc.). That made me think, "uh, is someone trying to tell me something here that I don't know about, or what?".

Two things: 1) I think of very different things between aerobics/dance teachers and spinning teachers. Not to disparage aerobics or dance, but the Barbie doll thing kinda goes with it. (Maybe it was my 1980s Aerobics Barbie?) I expect something different from Spinning teachers. They should be tougher, more serious about the sport. And the quality of their teaching is the *THE* most important thing. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure I've ever found myself critiquing a Spin teacher's looks or outfits or whatever. And I'm as into cute clothes as the next kid.

2) It kinda sounds like your work environment is not so great for your body image. Smacktalking coworkers' physiques? Not cool. Not the kind of pressure you need applied to your job, especially when you are recovering from an injury. Is this really the right place for you?

[marni]

I hope the comments about a spin teacher who actually also rides a bike for real, for having done some time in bike training for speed, distance or both, hit deeply. I spent a year taking spin classes before I ever started riding seriously, but now that I have been biking seriously for five years I rarely if ever take a spin class because none of the 5 instructors at my gym seem to know what they are doing except burning calories for the sake of burning calories. One spends the whole class at highest resistance standing or doing jumps, another shows up on the hour, unlocks the door jumps on the bike and stars off at a high cadence without giving anyone a chance to adjust a bike, warm up, loosen up etc. Another also a woman seals the room up and refuses to turn on a fan which means that everybody starts hyperventilating and the one guy instructor believes in doing things like 50 clapping pushups off the handlebars while pedaling at a high resistance, high cadence with the result that he actually moves his bike clear across the room several times a class. I could go on but you get the idea.

None seem to understand the idea of cool down and/ or a brief stretch at the end, nor do any of them believe in a volume lower than ear shattering, window vibrating bass boom box.

Occasionaly one comes in from anotther gym to cover the class. She is one who I sometimes see on a ladies ride, who is a serious biker and triathelete. Every time I am at the gym when there is a spin class , I look in the door to see if she is teaching. If she is, she unlocks the door and gets set up 10-15 minutes before the hour so that people can come in warm up. I carry bike gear in my gym back so if I see her, I tear downstairs , change my clothes and take the class.

I too am findidng that as I get older, I need to take a bit more time off, and that coming back and maintaining a weight during and after recovery time off the bike is much much harder. On the other hand, I keep tight track of my body fat percent and cardio information which is what I judge myself by.

As for makeup, don't wear it, haven't ever worn more than a bit of natural lipstick even when I worked in an office. As for my hair, I have worn it in an unfashionable, " she looks like she is growing her hair back after chemo" buzz since I turned 50.

At least your supervisor knows where you are coming from and sounds like she is sympathetc so hang in there. After this last fall, I am having all sorts of mental scenarios and hesitations about getting back on the bike which I am hoping will happen Friday or Saturday.

By the by, I have yet to see any of the instructors or any of my current trainers working out in the gym. Maybe they are and I am just on a different schedule. I do see the yoga instructor, who I must say is a little bit "soft and bubbly looking" working out after her class a lot so ......

Hangin there and be little more gentle with yourself.

marni

[WindingRoad]

Well, the short of it is... I am not feeling like one here lately. *sigh*

Since my Fall century crash, p.t. recovery, holidays, etc. I'm up about 8-10#s-ish from my in-season riding weight. So, gotta work on that coming off. BUT, here's a kicker...

I teach Spinning at my gym. I've picked up more classes since winter. I just seem to never be re-covered enough to get my "me time" ride in. And starving straight out just sux. Plus, my body needs fuel to ride-teach.

I truly love teaching. But, I'm just at this plateau between in-put & out-put. However, for the first time ever... I feel this pressure to be thinner--for professional reasons. (There are some really skinny teacher girls at the gym, and a lot of watching what you do as an instructor... has it's own weird cult.)

I do not like that feeling at all. I can't imagine how Hollywood celebs must feel. It's like the feeling is sabotaging me mentally to get the weight off.

It's hard to even describe it. But, it's like part of me goes on "break" when I'm done with my teaching. I find myself eating some junk I should not be. Besides I feel like my body needs food to perform.

I know we have a lot of variety on this board. And supportive peeps for sure. How am I gonna get this crazy block out of my head!

Miranda,

I've been doing a lot of spinning recently too with the bad weather and all. One of the instructors I used to take on a regular basis has been more than a bit concerning to look at lately. About a year ago she was slender but healthy looking; she was toned and actually had some muscles. This year, wow. She looks like her thighs are as big around as my calves, her arms look like spaghetti and her face is sunken in all over. I also notice now she is wearing long sleeves and long tights in her classes. I see her teaching when I come in to go to the later class and I always wave. She seems like a very nice person but obviously the body image stereotype has influenced her. You don't EVER want to look like that so if you have gained a little weight since your injury it's OK. As long as you are healthy, that is what you want to focus on. And anyways we are on the brink of cycling season, chances are once you start getting out on your real bike again those extra couple pounds will disappear and you'll forget all about them.

It's difficult to ignore the media and the stereotypical images the gyms portray. As I went in to my gym the other day I notice a girl on an advertisement poster: she's tall, super skinny, 'wearing makeup', skimpy clothes (sport bra and short shorts) and of course blonde and tan (no offense to those who are, just making a point). I'm thinking to myself, 'She looks like a model off of the Frederick's catalogue except she's in workout gear, WTF?' 'Am I here to workout or cat around? Again, WTF?' Yeah, THAT's not intimidating at all! I don't think you should let this stuff bother you, we all see it and it's ridiculous. It's EASY to get sucked in to that thinking, it can unconsciously eat at you and make you very unhappy. You don't want to be unhappy so realize that for 99% of us women, that stereotype isn't reality and we are happy.