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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    1,033

    Running with the boyfriend?

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    I'm really hoping maybe some of you girls will have a little experience with this... I've noticed that whenever I go running with my boyfriend I have an awful run? He absolutley LOVES to run (and run in general) with me but for some reason I just get annoyed at him during the run. He's a talker especially while he runs and I'm really not which I'm sure has something to do with it. I feel kinda territorial about my running time to be honest, I like it being just me. I actually don't like running with anyone, biking is an entirely different story. I'm not antisocial (well maybe a little, grin) but nothing that is abnormal.

    Yesterday we were running and I thought I was just going to die! I was achy, grouchy, cold you name it!!! OK it is finals week and I'm a full time grad student which can mutate me into mega beyoooch sometimes. He mentioned yesterday that it seemed like I only had bad runs when he was around and I couldn't disagree because 99.9% of the time that's true, ACK. What should I tell him???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    14,498
    I think it's okay to tell him you'd rather run alone... especially since you don't run with anyone else, either. Do you think he would take that badly? He must know other people who don't like to run with others.

    I much prefer running alone. I can't pay attention to all the little signals from my body if I have to pay attention to someone else.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Posts
    9,324
    The truth!

    Running is your time to mediate and decompress and it's hard to do when someone is yakking at you.


    Veronica
    Discipline is remembering what you want.


    TandemHearts.com

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    I'm the only one allowed to whine
    Posts
    10,557
    Tell him you'd rather run alone.
    Or if he wants to be out while you're running, tell him to run 1 block behind you.

    I prefer to run and ride alone, but if I'm to be out with other folks we work out a system (run away/walk back, ride to a meeting point) so everyone is happy.
    "If Americans want to live the American Dream, they should go to Denmark." - Richard Wilkinson

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    N. California
    Posts
    440
    I prefer to run and ride alone more often than not. The stress of 'am I going too fast or too slow' gets to me. I do have some people I meet with once in a while, but my husband is not one of them. I just can't get in the zone with him about. You just have to be honest.
    Be yourself, to the extreme!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    1,033
    Yes I think he and I need to have a chat about running together. I like the idea of running simultaneously just not in the exact same place, that I think I could deal with.

    Just another example of why running with him drives me insane. We ran trails a few weeks ago and he was pointing out every root, hole and bump in the trail like I was gonna kill myself or something, gawd! I know he means well but I really want to choke him when he does that.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,940
    This is funny to me. I used to HATE running with the hubs, I mean hate it. I would actually tell the poor guy to get away from me. I am not sure when the turning point was, but now I can't stand going without him. It is funny.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Little Egypt
    Posts
    1,867
    Be honest with him or you will snap one day and he'll never know where it came from..........

    I prefer to run alone too. It's my "me" time. I can do it any way I want and like tofu said, it's stressful worrying about going too fast or too slow.

    Funny how we women are more social than men but when it comes to sports activities, it seems they are the ones that make it social. And no matter how hard they try not to.......they make it competitive.

    I have learned the hard way....I don't run, swim, golf, or bike with hubby. We start at the same time but I can't hang with him because of difference in fitness levels. It's great having the same interests and doing things together but I enjoy doing my own thing at my speed.
    Last edited by Bike Chick; 12-15-2009 at 04:18 PM.
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    2,208
    I think about this when I run or bike with my husband. He does like to think about work and talk when he rides/runs, and I like to think/talk about anything but work (or nothing). He uses that time to solve problems, get his thinking muscles going, I use that time to NOT think and let my subconscious work on the thinking muscles thing for later. Nothing wrong with either approach, it's just... different. I do love spending the time with him, though.

    Fortunately (I guess) for now we don't have the same fitness level, so I do my solitary workout and then run/ride with him (or vice versa - with him, then alone), so I get to satisfy both requirements. If we were at the same fitness level, we'd have to compromise a little - talk about thinking things but not work, travel in opposite directions, plan different workouts on different days so we're not both doing the same workout at the same time, whatever.

 

 

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