sad.. just need to vent!

**ehirsch83** · 08-13-2009, 04:52 PM

Hey Ladies,
Just need a little spot to vent and relieve this little bit of a funk I have been in today.

So, I have been with the SO for 2 years and I love him dearly. We have had our rough spots, but I always figured things would work out.(a lot of the rough spots though had to deal with me feeling more like his mom then his SO, cleaning up after him,etc).

So this past week I have been housesitting for my dad, about 40 minutes from where we live, and he kept blowing off coming over at night. But I understood, to a point. He is an elite duathlete and just made his entrance into the tri world and qualified for oly distance nationals for age group(in his first tri ever). He is working towards going pro at the longer distances and I understand that he has 2 a days almost every day around work.
Ok, back to the story, so Tuesday night he blew off dinner for a run and then later texted me saying we needed to talk about us the next day at lunch(he had wed. off of work and said we would have lunch to make up for missed nights).

Of course... I couldn't settle with finding out the next day and made him talk to me on the phone. Pretty much, he has decided he doesn't have time for a relationship with training, he is very close to having his dream come true and being able to be a pro triathlete is worth more then us.

I am inbetween jobs at the moment, so this just sucks b/c i don't have money to move out at the moment, so I still have to live with him for a little bit.
He says i am his best friend and he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but to me, that makes it harder.

I have never been so sad that I have spent the whole day in bed, but that is what I did today.
I slept on the couch all day. I got myself up to walk around the neighborhood for a half hour. I never touched my bike, which is bad. I have a race on sunday and i needed to get in some efforts today b/c i have been taking is super easy all week(over trained the past few weeks)

and it is weird b/c for the past few weeks i kind of thought our relationship wasn't working, with how busy he was, but I wasn't prepared for him to end it.

Thanks for letting me vent! even if no one reads this, I think it helped just to write something out.

**nolemom** · 08-13-2009, 05:04 PM

I have no words of wisdom but am sending a hug.

**Blueberry** · 08-13-2009, 05:11 PM

Big hug and lots of sympathy headed your way. That just really sucks

Especially the having the live in the same house for a while part. Any friends you could crash with to get a little bit of space?

Take care of yourself - there is no should or shouldn't in determining how to deal with these kinds of situations.

CA

**Iris616** · 08-13-2009, 05:19 PM

Oh. That sucks. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

**shootingstar** · 08-13-2009, 05:28 PM

I'm sorry to hear about this. It's going to be tough living with him for awhile, considering this is break-up time too.

Got any local friends who are willing to rent out for awhile?

**ehirsch83** · 08-13-2009, 05:32 PM

Thanks girls!
The problem is, I have also been so involved with training and work up until now that I blew off most of my friends. It seems my close friends all live in other states or they live with roommates with no room for me.

Oh well, maybe I will use this time to just move elsewhere, I don't love south florida and I miss Boulder,CO. I have nothing holding me here now!

I could go to Boulder or to Albuquerque, or even San Fran.

hmmm so many options to change my life now.

**redrhodie** · 08-13-2009, 05:36 PM

I'm so amazed by your ability to think of the new possibilities coming your way! You're going to get through this, and be stronger from it.

**salsabike** · 08-13-2009, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by ehirsch83

Thanks girls!
The problem is, I have also been so involved with training and work up until now that I blew off most of my friends. It seems my close friends all live in other states or they live with roommates with no room for me.

Oh well, maybe I will use this time to just move elsewhere, I don't love south florida and I miss Boulder,CO. I have nothing holding me here now!

I could go to Boulder or to Albuquerque, or even San Fran.

hmmm so many options to change my life now.

Ah, Emily. I'm sorry. It's hard stuff.

Why not come visit Seattle and see if you like THAT? A bunch of us would take you out to dinner or for a ride.

**tc1** · 08-13-2009, 05:56 PM

Aw, sometimes life just sucks. Stay on the couch and mope for a couple days.
If you are housesitting for your dad, can't you stay at Dad's house until you find another place?

**Mr. Bloom** · 08-13-2009, 05:59 PM

E: This really stinks and I'm sorry for what happened.

This guy is having an affair...with himself, his dream, his addiction. It's no different than alcoholism or a romantic affair, but it's more sinister because it has the appearance of being "healthy and constructive" because it's competitive and exercise...and what's more healthy than that? But you found it out before it's too late...and once he got past this obsession, there would be another, and then another.

I don't want to minimize the pain, because it's genuine. But, there is a bright side that you've already found - you're not encumbered by job or relationship, and you're not happy where you are...you are free to pursue what you want.

I think that somewhere beyond the pain, there's a whole new world opening up for you!

**malaholic** · 08-13-2009, 06:03 PM

Oooh, Boulder...I interned there for a few summers while in college & I love it. Sounds like a great place to make a fresh start.

I'm sorry that all this is happening. I'm sure you're going to end up in a better place for you and with a better person for you, but I know it'll hurt for a while (been there, done that!). Make sure that during this transition that you take care of yourself & your needs first. Him wanting to keep your friendship is nice and all, but if you find it painful to be around him, then find a way to keep your distance and don't worry if losing your friendship hurts him - you need to take care of yourself first. I'm not sure what your options are regarding moving out, but I'm sure you'll be able to find somewhere else to stay for the time being. Or even ask him to go stay with his friends/family for a while.

And if you get feeling lonely, keep reminding yourself of all the times you've had to clean up his dirty dishes or pick his dirty socks off the floor, and allow yourself to be a little glad that you don't have to deal with that anymore!

**solobiker** · 08-13-2009, 06:24 PM

I am so sorry. I am sending you a hug right now.

**NoNo** · 08-13-2009, 06:30 PM

Ugh, that just sucks. You're entitled to several days of laying in bed, or doing whatever else you feel like. I can't imagine having to live with him. As was suggested, can you stay with your dad for a bit? Hell, I'd rent a hotel before I stayed with that guy. I'm amazed at your ability to see the silver lining at this point, I think you're a much stronger person than I am.

**pfunk12** · 08-13-2009, 06:32 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your pain, Emily, but as they say "time heals all wounds". It hurts now but it will get easier with time. It sounds as if you are already starting to think optimistically about this situation and it can become a positive life changer for you (a move to a new fantastic city). Take care of yourself. Hugs.

**OakLeaf** · 08-13-2009, 06:43 PM

((((((((Emily))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself.

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