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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005

    8 Diet Misconceptions

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    1. Iíve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

    Your heart is only good for so many beats, and thatís it. Donít waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. Thatís like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. As Deí.

    2. Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
    an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, green leafy vegetables). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop. Look also on 5 things which are not a vegetable.

    3. Is beer or wine bad for me?

    Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

    4. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    5. What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

    Canít think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No PainÖ Good.

    6. Arenít fried foods bad for you?

    Youíre not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, theyíre permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

    7. Whatís the secret to healthy eating?

    Thicker gravy.

    8. Is chocolate bad for me?

    Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans - another vegetable! ďItís the best feel good food around!Ē

    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.
    When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and the salt.
    It's a little secret you didn't know about us women. We're all closet Visigoths.

    2008 Roy Hinnen O2 - Selle SMP Glider
    2009 Cube Axial WLS - Selle SMP Glider
    2007 Gary Fisher HiFi Plus - Specialized Alias

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    St. Pete, FL
    I rec'd this one time as an email. I chuckled at it. It is pretty good! May be rules to live by afterall!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Troutdale, OR
    4. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
    This comes across to me as being very German. Yes in German, we say battery is empty. Battery was never alive so how can it be dead? Americans are crazy to insist that battery is dead when infact, it is empty.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    where the wind comes sweeping down the plain
    That made me laugh! Thanks for posting... now I need to get back to my beer and chocolate breakfast concoction. More veggies.
    Check out my running blog: www.turtlepacing.blogspot.com

    Cervelo P2C (tri bike)
    Bianchi Eros (commuter/touring road bike)

    1983 Motobecane mixte (commuter/errand bike)
    Cannondale F5 mountain bike



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