Hi Miranda -
You sound similiar to me. I have short femurs (short legs, actually) and had some issues with finding the right geometry bike. I would walk into bike shops and they would take one look at me and put me on a 52cm bike which was WAY too big for me. I've got short legs, a long torso BUT, short arms...so while the geometry of the men's bikes were probably close for me...they were all too big and I couldn't even find one to test ride.
Anyway, I did what you are doing - tons of research based on what I could learn here at TE, what the geometry of my first two bikes were (I tried two - a 49cm men's Fuji and a 44cm WSD Specialized), and what I was reading everywhere. I was determined to get the best possible bike for me because I was tired of 'almost' fititng bikes. I ended up ordering a 19" Terry Isis (the 2005 model that is TI) from the website. I figured I was 'safe' giving it a shot since she gives 30 days to try it out. My STA is 74 and I still need a zero set back seat post to get my short femurs over the crank correctly. My saddle is just forward of center on the seat post, too. BUT, my longer torso leaves me a bit too cramped in this position, so I needed a longer stem (110) AND a shallow reach handlebar (to accomodate the short arms). I had my fancy fitting about 6 months after I got the bike and I was just terrified that she was going to tell me that my bike was all wrong (and I'd fallen in love with it by then). Turns out, she gave me a gold star for getting the best possible stock frame for me.
My fitter did mention that while I clearly had the strength/power to kick it with 170mm cranks, my leg dimensions would not allow it. Thankfully actually, since my bike came stock with 165's. I've since set up my commuter bike to the exact same dimensions (it's also a Terry) and they both fit extremely well.
Of course, then I read Margo's site and now I cannot wait until I've got the cash to go full custom.

I'll still keep my TI Isis until the end of time though - I love it so much.
Two dimensions I left out: I'm 5'4" and a 19" Terry is about a 48cm...