To ride or not to ride.....

[silver]

well, this is a delicate situation.....most of you could come to this forum and discuss your spouse and he would probably never know what was said.....but my spouse is a more frequent poster on this forum than I am....so this puts me at a disadvantage.

I have a delimma.....I want to go for a 75 mile ride tomorrow. Mr. doesn't want me too. He says he doesn's so much have a problem with the ride itself but the process with which I communicated to him that I was planning on doing the ride. He won't say whether he wants me to cancel the ride or not....but to do the right thing.

Sigh....

[Biciclista]

I think you ought to apologize for bad communication and go on your ride! The ride is clearly not what he's unhappy about; so go do the ride and have fun.

[Blueberry]

That's a tough one.

We can usually talk things out and come to a resolution about what's really upsetting the other one before the event. I think I'd try keeping the lines of communication open. I also think I'd try to listen to the why of what upset him on how you told him you wanted to do the ride. Would not going on the ride help anything (i.e. was there something else planned - I'm shooting in the dark here)? If not, then go.

Good luck to you both!

[silver]

Thanks! these are good insights. I'll try to communcate better.

P.S. nothing else planned. I assumed that he'd gotten the emails during the planning process and never discussed it with him. He doesn't want to go because it will be cold. I'm getting more used to riding in the cold.

[Tokie]

This sounds like something that would happen at my house too. I would talk it over - acknowledge his disappointment and apologize for assuming that he knew and not talking about it sooner. Perhaps plan something special together for another time - (just the two of you ?), commit to being more careful in making plans next time.....and go on your ride! Tokie

[silver]

Thanks again! After an apology and much discussion I went on the ride and it was wonderful. 63 miles at 16.3

[Veronica]

I think every family needs to work out their own communication style. It doesn't matter what it is, as long the family members agree that it works.

Veronica

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think every family needs to work out their own communication style. It doesn't matter what it is, as long the family members agree that it works.

Veronica

Well said.

[Crankin]

I totally agree. I just can't believe that so many are dependent on electronic calendars for their personal lives. I know I am an anachronism. To me, it's all a symptom that the world is too crazy, over booked, and over stressed.
I am not putting anyone down; but when someone said that she didn't know anybody that didn't use a calendar, I would beg to differ. I know several people who don't, at least for social stuff.
But it's true, I am generally a technology hater and a last adapter. I think I secretly enjoy it, too.
Heck, my brother doesn't even have a computer or cell phone and he is a generation (11 years) younger than me!

[Tuckervill]

You just said you used a 3.99 date book.

Isn't that a calendar?

Isn't that technology?

Using electronics does not mean we are overbooked or overstressed. It just means we incorporate useful things into our lives as they become available. Like date books, but comprised of bits and bytes.

Karen

[indysteel]

I'm your basic Luddite, but even I use a Blackberry for my calendar. I would't say I'm overbooked, but I have a number of activities and obligations that I need to keep track of. I was starting to lose track of things, so I decided I needed a better way to maintain a calendar

The nice thing about the Blackerry is that it's programmed to ding at me when I have an appt. Plus, it's synched to my work computer and email. It's helped me stay much better organized. I still don't have a home computer, but I love the Blackberry.

[PamNY]

You just said you used a 3.99 date book.

Isn't that a calendar?

Isn't that technology?

Ah, that is one of my favorite arguments. Filling in a calendar is pretty much the same process whether you write by hand or type. And sticking a paper calendar on the refrigerator makes it interactive. Way too much importance is attached to technology (sometimes).

Pam