I'm curious. How many of you have attended or would attend your high school reunion (or grade school, college, etc.)? How many of you would rather eat paste?

The reason I ask is that I've had very strong, negative reactions to both my high school reunion this past August and to a recent invitation to be part of an online reunion of sorts for my grade school. When I say strong, I mean take me off your list, I do not want to be included, no I'm not going/participating, now please leave me alone. For what it's worth, I would mention that I live in my hometown and went to small Catholic schools that have some very active and persistent alumni. They're like cheerful bill collectors.

While I'm okay with just saying no, my strong reaction is a little unsettling and it makes me wonder what's going on in my head. I didn't loathe elementary or high school, but those years were pretty unhappy for me. My family life was very difficult, although no one at school really knew that. I was privately a very sad and lonely kid. Even as I write this, I feel like that kid again.

While I had good friends throughout, some of those relationships soured over time because I often placed overly high expectations on them. I think I wanted them to make up for the love and attention that my parents didn't provide me. That's a lot to ask of anyone, especially a kid. All but one of my friends growing up knew anything about my home life, and she didn't learn about it until we were 18 and graduated.

By the time I went to college and then law school, I wasn't prone to looking back. I just wanted to move on with my life, and I have. My life today feels very far away in so many respects from my childhood. I have a handful of friends who date back to college and two that date back high school. Otherwise, I've made little effort to stay connected to former classmates.

My reaction may have something to do with the fact that I'm single and childless. I'm in a serious relationship, but we're a long way off from a commitment. Many of my classmates married young and now have almost-grown children. I'm happy with where I am, but I'm also a little self-conscious about it not conforming to some traditional ideal.

Finally, I think I just have other/better things to do. I'm busy enough with the people currently in my life to make time for people who have become strangers in the 20 plus years since I've seen them. Why should I bother? But then again, I make time to meet new people when given an opportunity, e.g., I've made time and effort to meet people from TE and Roadbikereview. I'm otherwise a pretty social creature.

Anyway, I find my reaction to be rather interesting. Clearly, something, or a combination of somethings, is getting triggered. Can any of your relate, or am I just a big party pooping weirdo?