I have a somewhat quirky question but know that there is a vast knowledge base here. It's also late and I'm tired so I apologize!!!

I have a friend from H.S. who I've recently come back into contact with. She and I were good friends and I was hanging out with her pretty much exclusively in our formative years. I know she had tried to kill herself back in Jr. High (I think?) which was before I met her. Her brother has been diagnosed bi-polar, and she has been diagnosed clinically depressed. This is as of now.

She lives with her sister. Her sister works. My friend is going through a divorce and has a spinal problem which keeps on her on pain medication. My friend is on anti-depressants and morphine derivatives and exists. The California "low income" insurance is very restrictive and only allows her to exist but not to heal.

I've spoken to my friend a lot on the phone. I will go see her within the month. Her sister has pleaded with me not to give up on her (my friend) and they hope that she will want to leave the house and want to live, basically. On the phone, I can see that she is interested. I can talk to her about what's going on and we can be who we are...and I can ask her stupid questions like "why the heck are you DOING this?" and she sees it as it is but I also know (from my fear of heights) that things can't be cured as easily as that.

Any ideas? I e-mailed my ex-husband who has been diagnosed the same only he functions. I think he sees sides that are beyond me because my cure for stuff is "go for a walk". I mean I know beyond that but I guess I pull myself through it all and self-preserve. I think my simplistic way of thinking won't help. I don't want the system to give up on her and I know I am seen as maybe a way out, at least by her sister.

The scary thing is her sister is dating a guy who has talked of marriage. I asked what would happen to my friend (who doesn't work, who lives on public assistance, and who has no living parents now) and was told "well, she would live with us or live with her brother". My friend is my age (not that old, I daresay!!!) and it is so scary to see her without means.

I think she CAN work. She sees things as against her, like if people go out to lunch without her she thinks they don't like her and maybe they don't but that's life sometimes. She can move around. She isn't from an athletic family and they are a bit out of shape but that is all learned behavior. Diet, exercise and all of that CAN happen but coming from how I am, it sounds stupid to just say it to someone who hasn't left the house since forever.

So. For those who have been on medication or who have been through this, what should I do as a friend? My experience is me (who if I'm sad or depressed I run or walk and work through it) and my ex-husband who did try to kill himself, etc., but he was always able to work and put on a good face to the outside. I never 100% understood him though I tried and DH now is more like me than not. I always though some drugs were for maintenance but mostly they were for "curing" or getting someone through something rather than just letting them be numb. I guess it's been years since she's done much of anything.

There's a lot more history but that's the gist of it. I am not so sure my 1 hour phone conversations make a difference and maybe there is something I could do better. We joke about old times and I know she needs a friend but I also know it'd be stupid to think I'm "it" as far as making her come out of this.

Grrrrr. I'm half tempted to make her go for a walk when I go down there