What does it mean "becoming one with the bike"?

Please excuse this little sidetrip into personal philophey... zen if you will. I'm not a religious person, not in the organized sense. I'm coming back (I hope) from a breakdown that has left me in a position where I must rebuild my very core... if I can discover what it is.

So, as you've all read in this thread or that, I'm a bit away from turning 49, I'm on disability (mental not physical) and I've chosen cycling as my re-entry into the world. My goal is to race... to enter and do well in 2006 at the Gay Games in Chicago. OK... maybe more info than you needed. But this is me. I put it out there. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's like spitting in the wind.

I decided to start this thread to explore inspriration. Goals, dreams... things that get you hot to throw a leg over that beloved bike and pedal, be it on the road or in the woods. With goals and dreams, sometimes, come fears and anxiety.

For me, in my current state, I have to work for a week to get me out of the house to ride. Leaving the security of my home is scary. I might have to talk to someone. Or I might get lost. Or I might have a panic attack... or I might just have a great time.

This thread is to discuss what does it for you... me. What is it that makes the Ride.

Right now I'm drowning myself in cycling literature, films, mags, etc. I seek inspiration...

For my first trick I throw a book and a movie into the mix.

The book: The Race by Dave Shields. It's a little story about a guy, a domestique, that finds himself in an unimaginable position in the Tour de France. Not the great american novel, but inspirational none-the-less

The movie: American Flyer with a young Kevin Costner
and another 2 Seconds which is French with English subtitles, about a downhill racer (female) and her coming to terms with time.

Meanwhile I try to get out the door to ride... to find myself.

Remember grrls... inspiration.