Vday blues

[ace]

I felt I needed to express this somewhere, so why not here, I guess.....

I broke up with my bf last June, in Oct. he went back to his old gf, about whom he complained bitterly throughout the course of our relationship. He had a photo of her up in his bedroom the entire year and 1/2 we were together, saying he just couldn't be bothered to take it down. I respected him and didn't push it. Yes, I am a dumbass.

It has been super painful for me. We are not talking (I told him in Oct. I wanted 6 months of no contact to move through these feelings on my own), and I'm really very angry and hurt and missing him daily. I was NOT looking forward to this Vday, last year we spent it happily together.

I have an appointment to take my dog to a new holistic vet today for some acupuncture (he's got mobility problems), and I looked up the directions on a map last night and realized that the vet is about two blocks from where ex-bf lives, an area I have completely avoided since Oct. So I am feeling sick with dread that I may run into him today of all days. But I just gotta do it.

I keep asking myself what would I tell myself if it were someone else feeling this way (that often helps me be nicer to myself), and I guess I'd tell them that it's ok to feel bad, I'm entitled; the worst that will happen is that I'll see him and it will hurt but I'll survive, I don't deserve to be hurt by him any more. But I still feel sick to my stomach.

[Bad JuJu]

((((((Ace))))))
I'm angry for you--angry at your a-hole x-bf, sure, but mainly angry at the blasted flowers/cards/candy industries for advertising us into a big dither about Valentine's Day so anybody who isn't surrounded by roses and chocolates and heart-shaped thoughts on this day just feels bad about themselves. That sucks.

Yes, you're totally entitled to feel bad, but don't let it be because of advertising. It sounds like that guy did you wrong--that's something to feel bad about, but it's his bad, not yours. Maybe you can focus on your sweet dog and how much he loves you and needs you--now THAT'S love.

I hope you're feeling better soon!

[LBTC]

Ace, this valentine's day for you is all about that unconditional love that we share with our dear pets. I hope you have a fabulous appointment with the vet and that your little furry buddy feels great afterward. And if you run into the slimy ex-bf, well, just know that you're a better person than he is and he can't make you feel bad unless you let him.

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[ace]

Thanks very, very much, sistah-friends.

You both make good points, and I know the real pain in this comes from turning it all around on myself, not liking myself, blaming myself, and not being nice to myself. So I will try harder.

My dog has always been my primary love anyway...we adore each other. Maybe after the vet I'll get him a nice red bone.

Btw, ex-bf isn't slime. Just a fairly messed up guy trying to do his best, which wasn't very good.

[mimitabby]

here's another point. When you go to the Vet clinic, focus on your dog.
Even if ex BF is right in front of you, you won't have to look at him.
That would be an excellent thing for his ego anyway to have you not even notice that he's there! good luck.

[Kimmyt]

Well, think about it this way. This year and last you will have spent your valentine's day with a dog.

Luckily for you, this year you're spending it with the one that has fur!

[Bikingmomof3]

Enjoy the day with your dog, they are family and offer unconditional love, which is all anyone could ask for. I am sorry your ex BF was so dreadful. Remeber, it is only a day, tomorrow it will be over. You are already doing something special for your dog. Do something special to pamper you today.

[Trek420]

Enjoy the day with your dog, they are family and offer unconditional love, which is all anyone could ask for.....You are already doing something special for your dog. Do something special to pamper you today.

What she said. Have a good day with your best pal, they do get us through and hey, the velo girls club has a cingle syclists I mean Single Cyclists Coed ride.

C'mon out and meet a new guy. You're too good for that dolt.

[ace]

Thanks everyone for your support. It helped a lot. Strange how much the support of strangers (ok, you're not total strangers, but I haven't met any of you) can make me feel better. You are a great group of women.

We went to the vet, Linus got his acupuncture treatment, and seemed to strangely enjoy it (I think it was a combination of that fact that the vet gave him dessicated liver and that it felt good).

Single cyclists....well, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to stay single until at least the fall (I really need some time to get over this relationship and feel ok about myself again), but maybe then I'll join that ride......

[Trek420]

Well, you might meet some new cycling friends. Info is here, first Saturday of each month:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=10689