Dear So and So

[massbikebabe]

Dear God:

Can you please cancel the 15 inches of snow you were sending this weekend? I'd really appreciate it so much that I'll stop eating Cold Stone ice cream. While I have you on the line, could you maybe send me a financial windfall so I can open a bike shop catering to the needs of women cyclists?? Everyone would appreciate that greatly.

sincerely,
karen, the one with the bad cold

[Surlygirl]

Hey Karen,
If you need someone to help you run the bike store count me in, I'm in the neighborhood. Now maybe if we both do the "no snow dance" maybe the Nor'easter will miss us.

[shewhobikes]

Dear Fellow Path Users,

We are all in this together. I know you walkers wish those of us on wheels would go away, but we don't like getting hit by cars. Also, we are trying to be as careful as we can. So when we say, "passing on your left," could you please just make sure you're on the right half of the path? You and your little dog, too? Thanks. That would be great.

Also, a special message to roller bladers: It's not a great idea to have your Ipod cranked up to concert volume. Better to do that on the couch at home. Because you tend to use a lot of path and if you veer left when I've already said "passing on the left" I may not be able to avoid driving up your back.

Yours in courtesy and safety,

Shewhobikes

[10yearstogether]

Dear Fellow Path Users,

Also, a special message to roller bladers: It's not a great idea to have your Ipod cranked up to concert volume. Better to do that on the couch at home. Because you tend to use a lot of path and if you veer left when I've already said "passing on the left" I may not be able to avoid driving up your back.

Yours in courtesy and safety,

Shewhobikes

I'm crying from laughing so hard!

[milkbone]

Dear loser of an ex-bf,

Unbelievable! Just happen to run into someone and we get to talking and wow...the night and day stories about the same situations, and even about me. Hmmm...can you see me as the type of person that needs to be "dragged out, to be active." Ummmm...HELLO...what planet are you from? Hi, I'm Kerry, I'm on Earth..from which galaxy did you come from??.. And oh, by the way I apparently "struggled" through medic school...um, stressed - yes.."struggled" certainly not.

And text messages that you send to me that I never respond to does not constitute "talking" to me. I have followed my mothers advice, I have nothing nice to say, so I say nothing at all.

Holy toledo...you know, I'm over it and moved on, been on a few dates, etc...Please, do the same...and quit pretending we are still together in some warped way. i.e. when someone asks about me, and you haven't actually "spoken" to me in 2 months, don't tell them you talked to me last week. When all you did was send an unanswered text. Tell them, "Oh, gee, I don't know..we broke up." Ya loser.

However, you will still be a low life no matter how you try to dress it up, and no I don't want to be your friend. I am upset however, that I lost 2 years of my life to a multiple personality liar whom blames others for his down falls, and even more upset that my boys became very attached and you hurt them in the process.

I am just appalled about how much can come to light after the fact, and how someone can lie...and seem to actually believe it themselves...very sad, you need some help.

So please, leave me and my phone alone...don't act like you still talk to me...and I hope the truth comes out in the wash for everyone else..that I'm not the first, nor second girl you have done this too...

I have certainly moved on with my life and very happy, please in your own little warped world of reality do the same.



10:04 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

[lph]

Dear gas stations, train stations, airports, what-nots with public restrooms: would you please, please, PLEASE stop putting in those fancy schmancy automatic taps that start when you put your hands in front of a sensor? I sometimes, most times, am in a HURRY when I need to pee. I've given birth after all. I'm usually lugging stuff. I have to put it somewhere, in a hurry. I end up putting it in the sink more often than not because you've also done away with all shelves and counter space, and the floor is grimy.

And I am kinda sick of peeling my soaking wet wallet out of a pool of water

Thank you.

[crazycanuck]

Hey Lph,

Whenever i encounter one of those types of toilets, I just stick my stuff in my bra..

I am a fan of those sinks as it's wayyyy more hygenic!!!

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Sheesh,

Thanks for being a part of my life and bringing your insanity to my sometimes uptight world. Blushing, laughing, crying because I laughed so hard. You were a great friend to Mom and then to me, we will miss you loads. Shine on and be free of illness and pain.

Love ya!
Ama

[chicago]

dear you... making $90K who does nothing and who is in the cafeteria now eating breakfast. i hope you are enjoying getting away with this. i really don't know how you do... how you sit in your cube in front of me and read the paper all day and make $90K while others are our team are working our butts off. i hear the new boss has her eye on you... but you have been doing this for years, somehow i think you will continue to get away with it.

i guess that's why you are cocky... because you get away with so much.

i need to let it go... but it bothers me that i have a plate full of work and you continue to do nothing and make more than me. if you ever got fired, i will not shed one tear... because you are a person who does not deserve this job

[sundial]

Dear Congressional Leader,

Do what's right, not what's popular.

[SadieKate]

Dear sundial,

I hope you are not holding your breath.

[SadieKate]

Dear Santa,

Daisy loves her new wheels! Thank you, thank you. She is one happy girl. They are smooth as silky, oh so comfy, and, my gosh, are they flashy! They danced all over the road today on their first ride together.

By the way, do you know anything about that dark menace that followed us? It turned when we turned, it mirrored our every movement and followed us home. There was also this bright orange ball in the sky. Is the end drawing near?

Signed.
Happy Sarah

[Barb]

Dear Parents:

Would some of you consider buying your kid a bike...and riding with them once in a while? They might 1. get off the couch more often 2. be better able to transport themselves and 3. be less interested in drugs and alcohol. If you ride with them, you may even find out what is on their minds.

Dear lottery officials:

I am paying my dues but you are not coming through on your end. Thanks in advance for your attention to this matter.

[LBTC]

Dear maker of shop-vac

Can you please make a quiet model? Having 3 of these running in my basement for the entire weekend did avoid damage to the carpeting, gyproc, and our tenant's belongings, but the ringing in my ears hasn't stopped yet!



Dear weather gods

Can you please cancel any remaining extreme weather you had planned until after we have our backyard dug up to put in proper drainage? That should be in May or June, so let's just keep it a steady -5 C with a gradual and windy melt, okay?



Many thanks

~T~

[yellow]

Dear 3M (and other tape manufacturers),

Can you please make one kind of masking tape that comes off as intended when you take it off the roll?

(This should tell you what kind of a morning I am having; I wouldn't normally post from work because of Big Bro!).

Love,
yellow