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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    830

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    Indy-hey, no big deal...you didn't know. I don't talk about it much...trying to be positive and a lot of times just talking about it brings out negative vibes. Thank you for your compassion though. I really do need to balance both of our needs. He knows I'm very unhappy about my weight. You're right, we just need to sit down and talk about it. After 16 years of compromise I'm sure we can do it with this too...I just didn't realize how much my unconscious was affecting my decisions.

    Knotted - I'm going to try eating more between 7am and 5pm and see how I do on my rides...and see if I can limit what I eat after the rides...that will be the key - along with better decisions when eating out. Maybe I can start to get a handle on this without too much difficulty. Thank you.

    Thanks to everyone for your thoughts/input.
    As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence." ~Benjamin Franklin

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    719

    carbs oh poor poor carbs

    Carbs are a sensitive complicated subject...

    here are some "rules" that i recommend to clients

    1) for grains, try to make them as unprocessed as possible - ie rice, quinoa, millet etc
    2) for processed grains,makes sure there is as little added sugar as possible - sugar disguises itself as corn syrup, fructose, glucose, maltose to name a few.
    3) for yogurt you are better off buying plain and adding in the sweetener. use natural sweeteners like honey or maple syrup or low sugar jams, or better yet, FRUIT
    4) for dried fruits and nuts and seeds, MEASURE out the quanitities, serving sizes are about 1-2 table spoons
    5) for processed grain foods, like rice or pasta or cereal or bread, a serving size is roughly 20-30 grams of carbs. this usually prevents over eating of this food group.

    Bon Appetit!

    hannah
    "The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."-Moliere

    "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." -Thomas A. Edison



    Shorty's Adventure - Blog

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    1,253
    I also have difficulty managing my willpower with a significant other who loves to eat out. There are times when I'd be perfectly content to just come home and eat something really quick and simple, but he psychologically needs a hot cooked dinner. In an ideal world we'd have time to cook more for ourselves (he is a fantastic cook) but we are both managing full-time jobs and full-time university coursework. Like you, mealtimes are a big part of our daily quality time with eachother. It's really easy for us to enable eachother to indulge and feel like every day is a special occasion. The more intense and stressful our lives are, the more we feel entitled to have a treat at the end of the day.

    One thing you may try to do is change the way you look at restaurant eating. It's easy to walk in the door and suddenly throw caution to the wind. In for a penny, in for a pound, eh? My favorite tactic is to automatically split your portion in half and eat the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Or, order an appetizer instead of an entree. Watch out for sweetened/alcoholic drinks, starters like bread or chips/salsa, and of course the evil evil dessert tray. Also... don't set yourself up for failure by undereating all day long. When you've been "good" (read: starving!) all day long, the chances of being able to exercise good judgment when looking at a tasty menu full of high-calorie options.

    I have to confess I can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like to have a spouse with terminal condition. If I were in his shoes I'd most likely be pulling out all the stops and living life to the fullest in my short time left. Except, remember that you are not terminally ill yourself. What kind of health legacy this eating spree is going to leave you with when he passes on? Maybe it feels selfish to be thinking about your own health and longevity at a time when his is basically done. If you do start successfully losing weight and you're lookin' good, how is he going to feel as he contemplates the potential reality that you may very well meet someone and remarry after he is gone? Could he be subconsciously sabotaging your efforts now because of jealousy? I'm sure some of the mourning process also may include a touch of self-destructive behavior. I see this in my widowed grandma who still smokes a pack a day. She figures that every puff gets her one step closer to being reunited with my dead grandfather.

    Anyways, that's just my $0.04.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Bloomington, IN
    Posts
    66
    I skimmed this thread rather quickly, so forgive me if someone has always said this ...

    What caught my eye is how many of your calories are consumed as liquid. That might also be part of why your willpower disappears when you go out to eat. I don't think I'd be satisfied consuming 2000 calories if the majority of it was in liquid form. I need flavors, textures; I need to chew and enjoy food. I know everyone is different and not everyone has the relationship to food that I do (I love it--all kinds, everything! ), but you might think about whether shifting some of your calories from liquid to solid might be more satisfying to you.

    Just a thought.

    Shelley
    aka newbiechick

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    830
    It's strangely comforting to know that others know how I feel about the eating out dilemma.

    It's also very odd that I find myself opening up about a very personal issue with complete strangers. I rarely discuss this with family and friends...I usually find them changing the subject quickly. I understand that they really don't know what to say and there really is nothing they can do. It's especially hard to talk about how this is affecting ME when I'M not the one who has a terminal illness...how selfish of me to be thinking of me when he is the one that has to deal with this terrible thing.

    ...remember that you are not terminally ill yourself. What kind of health legacy this eating spree is going to leave you with when he passes on? Maybe it feels selfish to be thinking about your own health and longevity at a time when his is basically done. If you do start successfully losing weight and you're lookin' good, how is he going to feel as he contemplates the potential reality that you may very well meet someone and remarry after he is gone? Could he be subconsciously sabotaging your efforts now because of jealousy? I'm sure some of the mourning process also may include a touch of self-destructive behavior.
    Some things I'll need to think on...I don't think he feels this way consciously, but you could be right, subconsciously. Thanks for your .04

    newbiechick, I noticed this too. One of the things I used to say when I was losing weight back in 2003 was, "Don't drink your calories." Looks like that is exactly what I am doing. That might be why the chips are so tempting after my rides. Crunchy and salty.
    As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence." ~Benjamin Franklin

 

 

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