Should I take a hint?

[Triskeliongirl]

I remember reading, I think it was in Michael Barry's inside the postal bus, the shock when he showed up with his wife at training camp (I think a few other guys brought their wives as well, ?Leipheimer). Apparently that is a big no-no to the european cycling coaches but these women ended up doing better than their husbands from that high level of training, and they saw the womens presence did not disrupt anything. If I were you I would just enjoy the fact that you can hang. I hung for 5 miles with the fast boys on last sundays club ride. The good news its more than I ever managed before, and I got dropped when DH took a pull and pushed the pace......... But I know that I will never have the strength to really hang with men like that so I really admire what it means that you can! Just enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[velogirl]

Several others have said the same thing, but I'll share from my own experience.

I wanted to race. My coach coached a local club and sent me out to ride with them. I felt like they rejected me. So I rode with another local club and felt the same way. And then a third. I finally decided to start my own club (Velo Girls).

Well, over the years, I've gotten to know a lot of men who race. They'll say what some of the other women have also said -- no one is rejecting you or judging you. They don't really care. They probably don't see you as much a threat as they do the other men. Men are just different. They aren't welcoming and encouraging. They won't mentor you. They might think you're cool for coming out to ride with them, but they're not going to tell you that. They just want to ride their bikes and win the town line sprint.

Now, if you did attack them, they'd probably take notice. You might even gain some respect. But don't take the way they treat you personally. They probably treat the overweight guys who get dropped the same way. It's not about you -- it's not really about anything.

On another note, I would totally encourage you to start a woman's ride. Even if it's a recreational ride, you'd likely find women who aspire to race and are fit and fast. Who knows where that might lead.

[Pedal Wench]

Hijack alert:

Hey, VG!

I didn't know you STARTED the VeloGirls -- that's so cool! I have a pair of your shoe-covers. White with purple flames, that I bought on eBay. They cause quite a stir whenever I wear them!

[bluerider]

Several others have said the same thing, but I'll share from my own experience.

I wanted to race. My coach coached a local club and sent me out to ride with them. I felt like they rejected me. So I rode with another local club and felt the same way. And then a third. I finally decided to start my own club (Velo Girls).

Well, over the years, I've gotten to know a lot of men who race. They'll say what some of the other women have also said -- no one is rejecting you or judging you. They don't really care. They probably don't see you as much a threat as they do the other men. Men are just different. They aren't welcoming and encouraging. They won't mentor you. They might think you're cool for coming out to ride with them, but they're not going to tell you that. They just want to ride their bikes and win the town line sprint.

Now, if you did attack them, they'd probably take notice. You might even gain some respect. But don't take the way they treat you personally. They probably treat the overweight guys who get dropped the same way. It's not about you -- it's not really about anything.

On another note, I would totally encourage you to start a woman's ride. Even if it's a recreational ride, you'd likely find women who aspire to race and are fit and fast. Who knows where that might lead.

Wow, I really appreciate your feedback and especially more so because I am a huge admirer of the VeloGirls group. You've formed an amazing group and I love what your group represents.

I have seriously thought about forming a women's only ride because I know a lot of the guys I ride with have GFs, wives, whatever who would really like to come out but never had the right environment to do so. Every opportunity I can, I take out new riders to my local riding spots. Although most have been guys, I have successfully brought two women into riding which I'm really pleased about.

I think there is a part of me that takes pride in riding with the boys. Not because they are boys but hopefully to show the women as well that we can do well in this sport and have a good time at it. Getting faster, going longer are all very rewarding but there is nothing greater than getting a new rider into the sport. That's part of the motivation in getting better is that eventually I can lead these rides and get more women out there!

I agree, men just aren't as "warm and fuzzy" ie nurturing like we women are. I shouldn't take it personally and just keep at it. I have earned my stripes by doing pulls when needed and once in a while go on an attack with the crew in the front. So I DO BELONG there and your words have confirmed that 100%.

[velogirl]

Hijack alert:

Hey, VG!

I didn't know you STARTED the VeloGirls -- that's so cool! I have a pair of your shoe-covers. White with purple flames, that I bought on eBay. They cause quite a stir whenever I wear them!

How interesting. Did you get them from Sock Guy? We ended up not printing them because they couldn't seem to get the color right. I thought I had the only pair in existence. Guess not.

[Eden]

I agree, men just aren't as "warm and fuzzy" ie nurturing like we women are. I shouldn't take it personally and just keep at it. I have earned my stripes by doing pulls when needed and once in a while go on an attack with the crew in the front. So I DO BELONG there and your words have confirmed that 100%.

Even my husband complains my team (an all women's team) is so much better organized, more supportive and much better at developing riders than the men's teams are. For the lower level guys its pretty much a dog eat dog kind of mentality. The women however are much more willing to hold workshops, work as a team even as 4's, mentor each other, etc. Guys just aren't used to doing that. There's really only one guy on my husbands team who is willing to put effort into the lower cat guys and this is treatment from teammates.

On the other hand we have a very large racing community around here, and a pretty well respected women's racing community. Most of the guy racers seem really nice to me - like they realize that while I may be able to hang on at their fast pace, I may not be able to take pulls and they don't get bent out of shape if I pull right off to the back. In return I try to be sure I don't mess with the pace or break up the paceline. The guys that don't give me the time of day I assume treat everyone like that. Club/rec riders on the other hand can be a different story - must prove manliness - must crush little girl racer....... I can't give them all a hard time though. I was at a race that did not have enough women to give us our own start. I quickly found myself in a group of unnattached guys. They were sweet and really wanted to help me (they had a crazy notion that I might be in the lead for the women - I wish - it may have been wishful thinking on their part too, that they weren't being beaten by women), but they didn't know how to paceline properly so they were being a bit of a hinderance at times too.

Give the guys some time. If you keep riding with them and prove you are serious they give you more respect.

[Pedal Wench]

How interesting. Did you get them from Sock Guy? We ended up not printing them because they couldn't seem to get the color right. I thought I had the only pair in existence. Guess not.

I bought them on eBay, and they are made by Sock Guy. I actually bought two pairs because they are so cute - one unworn, if you need them!

[Cassandra_Cain]

I have seriously thought about forming a women's only ride because I know a lot of the guys I ride with have GFs, wives, whatever who would really like to come out but never had the right environment to do so. Every opportunity I can, I take out new riders to my local riding spots. Although most have been guys, I have successfully brought two women into riding which I'm really pleased about.

You are scratching the surface of something bigger with these comments. Why?

Because I really believe some of those GF's, wives, friends, and assorted other women you'd get to turn out for a ride you organize, might well follow in your footsteps and want to have a go at racing. These boards are a good example of all the many ways, oftentimes totally unintended and innocent, that a woman really gets into cycling.

For a newbie to be with a group of supportive people like you, at least IMO, would make it much more likely!

[CyclChyk]

I remember when lived where everyone spoke Spanish around me- I would stand in line in the supermarket and be absolutely certain the women in back of me were whispering unkind things about me. Then I learned Spanish and it turns out they were just whispering about which tampons they liked, their gall bladder problem, or what color hair dye hides grey the best, etc.

OMG! I am SOOO paranoid that eveyone I can't understand or hear is talking about me. After all, I am so "coollllll" how could they not???

Yeh.. I'm sure the reality of it is that they are talking femine hygiene....