Should I take a hint?

[Squeaky]

Toughen up and stick with it!

As long as you're not getting discouraged when you do get dropped, then use them for motivation and to get better. Ignore the jerks (who probably just feel threatened) and socialize with the nice ones. It's awesome that you're keeping up with these guys and the fact that you keep at it should give you a lot of satisfaction.

[bluerider]

Toughen up and stick with it!

As long as you're not getting discouraged when you do get dropped, then use them for motivation and to get better. Ignore the jerks (who probably just feel threatened) and socialize with the nice ones. It's awesome that you're keeping up with these guys and the fact that you keep at it should give you a lot of satisfaction.

Thanks Squeaky, I will try to toughen up. To be honest, I don't know why I care so much since I barely know them...

I don't get discouraged when I get dropped. For me, it's a rite of passage but really at times, it really doesn't matter whether or not I get dropped or not...I doubt anyone would miss me...I will say, a few guys have come back to "fetch" me when I've been dropped so I can't say all of them are jerks...I guess I just have to keep at it...

I'll try to toughen it up but boy oh boy, it's awfully tempting some days to just ride alone...

[Triskeliongirl]

..I will say, a few guys have come back to "fetch" me when I've been dropped so I can't say all of them are jerks...I guess I just have to keep at it.....

I agree with the others that say this IS there way of saying you are welcome. I also agree that what you are feeling is the testosterone that is seething as they push hard, that is all. They obviously respect you if they are helping you get back on. Its only once a week, and I would say if you can do it, more power to you. I read that Dede Barry did so well cuz she showed up with her husband at the Disco training cramps, and trained them as best as she could. So, be glad you are talented enough to hang with the fast boys, and don't sweat the small stuff!

[bluerider]

I agree with the others that say this IS there way of saying you are welcome. I also agree that what you are feeling is the testosterone that is seething as they push hard, that is all. They obviously respect you if they are helping you get back on. Its only once a week, and I would say if you can do it, more power to you. I read that Dede Barry did so well cuz she showed up with her husband at the Disco training cramps, and trained them as best as she could. So, be glad you are talented enough to hang with the fast boys, and don't sweat the small stuff!

I appreciate your insights because I think I'm mixing up what I think is happening vs what is really happening. Really appreciate.

I'm actually excited to go riding again (ie get dropped again) this weekend!!!

Thanks again to all those who offered encouragement!!!

[Geonz]

Okay, just a mama-hen word here... we had a bad summer for crashes here, and seemed most of them were from people pushing **so hard** that they wobbled at the wrong time (twice it was pushing really, really hard to catch up... and then catching up and catching a wheel and going down HARD.)

So... be careful out there... suffer gracefully!!!

[Triskeliongirl]

I remember reading, I think it was in Michael Barry's inside the postal bus, the shock when he showed up with his wife at training camp (I think a few other guys brought their wives as well, ?Leipheimer). Apparently that is a big no-no to the european cycling coaches but these women ended up doing better than their husbands from that high level of training, and they saw the womens presence did not disrupt anything. If I were you I would just enjoy the fact that you can hang. I hung for 5 miles with the fast boys on last sundays club ride. The good news its more than I ever managed before, and I got dropped when DH took a pull and pushed the pace......... But I know that I will never have the strength to really hang with men like that so I really admire what it means that you can! Just enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[velogirl]

Several others have said the same thing, but I'll share from my own experience.

I wanted to race. My coach coached a local club and sent me out to ride with them. I felt like they rejected me. So I rode with another local club and felt the same way. And then a third. I finally decided to start my own club (Velo Girls).

Well, over the years, I've gotten to know a lot of men who race. They'll say what some of the other women have also said -- no one is rejecting you or judging you. They don't really care. They probably don't see you as much a threat as they do the other men. Men are just different. They aren't welcoming and encouraging. They won't mentor you. They might think you're cool for coming out to ride with them, but they're not going to tell you that. They just want to ride their bikes and win the town line sprint.

Now, if you did attack them, they'd probably take notice. You might even gain some respect. But don't take the way they treat you personally. They probably treat the overweight guys who get dropped the same way. It's not about you -- it's not really about anything.

On another note, I would totally encourage you to start a woman's ride. Even if it's a recreational ride, you'd likely find women who aspire to race and are fit and fast. Who knows where that might lead.

[Pedal Wench]

Hijack alert:

Hey, VG!

I didn't know you STARTED the VeloGirls -- that's so cool! I have a pair of your shoe-covers. White with purple flames, that I bought on eBay. They cause quite a stir whenever I wear them!

[bluerider]

Several others have said the same thing, but I'll share from my own experience.

I wanted to race. My coach coached a local club and sent me out to ride with them. I felt like they rejected me. So I rode with another local club and felt the same way. And then a third. I finally decided to start my own club (Velo Girls).

Well, over the years, I've gotten to know a lot of men who race. They'll say what some of the other women have also said -- no one is rejecting you or judging you. They don't really care. They probably don't see you as much a threat as they do the other men. Men are just different. They aren't welcoming and encouraging. They won't mentor you. They might think you're cool for coming out to ride with them, but they're not going to tell you that. They just want to ride their bikes and win the town line sprint.

Now, if you did attack them, they'd probably take notice. You might even gain some respect. But don't take the way they treat you personally. They probably treat the overweight guys who get dropped the same way. It's not about you -- it's not really about anything.

On another note, I would totally encourage you to start a woman's ride. Even if it's a recreational ride, you'd likely find women who aspire to race and are fit and fast. Who knows where that might lead.

Wow, I really appreciate your feedback and especially more so because I am a huge admirer of the VeloGirls group. You've formed an amazing group and I love what your group represents.

I have seriously thought about forming a women's only ride because I know a lot of the guys I ride with have GFs, wives, whatever who would really like to come out but never had the right environment to do so. Every opportunity I can, I take out new riders to my local riding spots. Although most have been guys, I have successfully brought two women into riding which I'm really pleased about.

I think there is a part of me that takes pride in riding with the boys. Not because they are boys but hopefully to show the women as well that we can do well in this sport and have a good time at it. Getting faster, going longer are all very rewarding but there is nothing greater than getting a new rider into the sport. That's part of the motivation in getting better is that eventually I can lead these rides and get more women out there!

I agree, men just aren't as "warm and fuzzy" ie nurturing like we women are. I shouldn't take it personally and just keep at it. I have earned my stripes by doing pulls when needed and once in a while go on an attack with the crew in the front. So I DO BELONG there and your words have confirmed that 100%.