Mega sticky friend dilemma

[Reesha]

I am suddenly embroiled in this horrible, awful, sticky, terrible situation. I'm going to try to explain enough of it without any revealing specifics for the sake of privacy, but I really need some advice on this one. I really really really don't know what to do.

My coworker and I are good friends. Her DH opened a restaurant last year with some of his friends/fans as investors about the same time they got married. My DBF was offered a job managing the office/accounting side of things. She and I share an office and a curriculum.

Recently her DH left the restaurant. My DBF told me the night of, but I figured friend would tell me when I came back to work on Monday. We usually talk about this stuff. Five days go by... giant elephant in the room! I tell her that I know he left, that I'm not asking questions, and she says she's not talking about it. I think to myself this is unusual for her, but I figure her DH is moving onto other projects and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Yesterday (nearly two weeks after her DH initially left the restaurant) I went by the day the place was closed to pick up my DBF. Owner/bar manager and new executive chef and DBF sit me down. They drop the biggest bomb I have ever heard on me. Basically her DH has been stealing from the restaurant. Restaurant is owned by a partnership of four people and he was siphoning off money here and there (in addition to his salary) and gambling it all away. (I knew he liked to gamble, as does she-- but not the extent). What is worse is that he was taking a salary for 6 months and my friend didn't know about it. She thought he was not taking a salary to help ensure the success of the restaurant. Really he was spending it all at the casino.

The other owners and my DBF continued to find ways to cut him off... including cutting off his salary as a punishment so that he'd stop stealing money. I guess things came to a head recently and he was fired, made to leave and they are working on how to extricate him from the partnership. He may be sued for the stolen money that is more than what his stake in the company is worth. My friend is in the dark about all of this, but she may have no other option but to be drawn into the legal situation.

Anyway, I think they told me because they aren't allowed to talk to her but are hoping that I will warn her somehow. We have a professional relationship of 4 years to maintain-- we are absolute partners in our job. I also have a friendship to maintain. Honestly though she's a very rational person and won't believe anything without evidence and the owners are not able to tell her what she needs to know. I figure the best thing to do might be to suggest that she needs to grill her DH. I really don't know what to do. It's the end of the schoolyear... it's crazy... if she finds out now there will be no time to process and she won't be able to take time away. On the other hand it would keep her busy during a trying time. Part of me thinks it might be best to wait until things have calmed down at work. On the other hand, she deserves to know immediately. I really believe telling her is going to stress/temporarily ruin our friendship. What to do?

Urgh. I need help. Yes I do. Sticky, sticky, sticky.