ever feel guily for riding? (warning... sad post)

[latelatebloomer]

Aw, hon, I am just so sorry. I'm glad you know about the rainbow bridge. When we had to have our shepherd Reba, put down, I felt like her spirit beat us back to the house. Your pup would lick your nose and laugh at your guilt - thank you for telling your story and reminding me to do a priorities check. I'm glad you have other animal friends to lean on. love, llb

[Jo-n-NY]

Hi Caligirl,

I am so sorry for your loss. I think most of us have some sort of guilt at one time or another. I know I do. There are just so many hours in the day and when you work full time there are just not many hours left to do what we enjoy most.

I think your ideas are good ones. Cut back a bit on cycling and spend a little more time with your furry little ones. I have to admit I envy all your threads of all the rides you do with your husband. With my husbands schedule we only ride together on Thursdays when I take a vacation day. So don't give it all up, just try to restructure a little and I am sure you will feel better and make everyone happy.

You are a good mom to your pets and I am sure they know that.

[Trek420]

What's real clear on this board is we've got a whole bunch of good Mom's here both to the fur-kids and the kid-kids

[wabisabi]

Oh, Caligirl, I just got back into town and saw your sad message.

I am so sorry for your loss. What others have said about dogs not showing illness is so true, and it is clear that you are a great dog-mom. I recently lost one also, and always felt torn between riding and walking them, and try to just work in shorter ones now and then with my remaining, older lab guy, sometimes in the am. before work, or even after dinner. It sounds like you are feeling a need to kind of reconnect with your four leggers, which makes sense, and you should definitely do that.

[LBTC]

Oh, Cali


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I've just asked my lovely Yogi to welcome your baby boy samoyed up there at RB and show him around....I'm sure they'll be getting along famously!

All that everyone has said is true true true. Guilt, yes, but don't let it eat you...make decisions, if you like, about how to do things differently....I think your ideas are good...

I made a couple of decisions myself when Yogi passed over, too....

I'll never have another lonely only....two dogs have more fun when I'm at work or whatever, than one....

and I'll always try to have my dog be a blood donor (unless it's ever too hard on my baby). 'Cuda has saved at least 2 doggie lives. yay for him!

In all of it, though, don't forget that you also have to take care of you. Maybe structure your rides differently, but don't spend too long away from riding. Take it from someone who has already been away from it too long....it's hard on your soul! Shower your babies with love, take good care of them, and take good care of you, too!

Yup, there are lots of good moms here. We all feel a little of your pain...

Hugs and Namaste,
~Teresa~

[mtbdarby]

((HUGS))) Hon,
I'm so sorry for your loss. We get such unconditional love from our furry friends that is so good for the soul. Your pooch new it was returned and had a good home, do what feels right for you now. Your bike will understand...

Can I ask what a rainbow bridge is?

[caligurl]

rainbow bridge is where all animals (pets) go when they.... well... you know...

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Lise]

Hi, Caligurl,

I can only repeat what everybody's said. Thanks for including the piece about Rainbow Bridge. My avatar here is a picture snapdragen found for me. It looks very much like Schatzi, our dachshund of 19 years, when I was growing up. Of all the beloved animals that will meet me when I move on from here, Schatzi will be the first to reach me, I'm sure.

Best wishes through the tears,

Lise

[caligurl]

thank you, everyone, for your kind words and telling me i shouldn't feel guilty (even though i still do... i realize i probably shouldn't....)

last night we took brie for a walk and she loved it! it was hard though cuz we are used to each of us having a dog... not just me.... then all three were hanging out watching tv with us last night! (i always loved when the 4 of them would be in the same room instead of spread all over the house!) brie always did follow us around the house "like a puppy dog".. but she seems to be doing it even more so..... and she's taken to laying (lying?) in tyler's favorite spots... i think she misses him, too! and she doesn't spend hardly any time outside (they LOVED being outside together in the cooler/cold weather! used to have to make them come in the house in the winter! now brie goes out... does her thing and is barking immediately to come back in! she never did like being outside alone.. always wanted tyler out there even if they were just sleeping in separate areas of the yard! but that's ok... i like her in the house laying (lying? which is the right use?) near me/us!)

i feel especially bad for brie cuz part of the reason we got tyler was as a companion for her... someone for her to play with! now she's back to being an only dog she is pretty self-centered... she's a very "me me me, dog! but that's her personality! she normally does good at entertanining herself... loves to get her stuffies or balls and play/kill them! but one sammy is just not enough! and we met and fell in love with tyler's "brother"... exact same breeding 1 year earlier... bonnie wouldn't let us have WIL at the time! lol! so when we found out she was breeding again... we were #1 on her list for a pet puppy... (we don't show) bonnie has the magic touch with dogs.. and tyler (as well as wil and all the rest of bonnie's dogs) was just the sweetest, most loving dog!!!!!

[LBTC]

Oh, Cali, I'm so glad you're already looking for a new companion for Brie!! And it's so wonderful you can find one with a link to your beloved Tyler. That's fabulous!

Our 'Cuda was so depressed when I came home without Yogi....he was like a different dog. In some ways it was a relief that he wasn't as assertive and self-centered, but I knew it was grief and we just couldn't let it continue....

Yogi passed on Dec 13, 2000. We picked up Diva from the breeder on Dec 23, 2000. They are such a great team together! Diva is much more the purebred nuerotic border collie, very obsessive, but beautiful in a way that passers-by stop to meet her. 'Cuda has become a total mama's boy. And when I'm home sick like today, almost nothing is better than having a power cuddling mama's boy curled up on the bed with me!!

Cali, the guils I felt over Yogi still comes and goes, but mostly I just remember the wonderful good times. I wish I'd been a better dog-mom when he was younger, wish I'd gotten a friend for him sooner (the cats have never really played with the dogs - not enough anyway), wish I'd been there when he passed over, but we can't change any of that. He was a wonderful companion. The best first dog a couple could have! He wouldn't leave the yard, he was everyone's friend, he loved to run and play and LOVED to go on rides with us. I'm so grateful that he spent his life here with us!!

One thing DH did, shortly after Yogi passed: well, we were apart for several days when it happened, so we each had lots of alone time to think.....ouch....anyway, it was such a sweet idea. He just wrote down all sorts of little things that were his memories of Yogi. Some of them were just one word, like "PUMPKINS!!" that will always remind us of the great little things that happened with him.

Lately, we've been sorting through 18 years of crap that we've accumulated, getting ready for a big move to another town, trying to pare down our belongings to a more manageable amount (that leaves more room for bikes and bike stuff), and we found that list. What a joy that was!! Very cool to come across it by accident that way!

I know this part is hard to talk about....what did you do with Tyler's remains? If you've had him cremated, I have some websites to direct you to. {{hugs}}

I think I may be rambling by now. I keep thinking about you, though, and hoping that you're doing well with your critters!

Namaste,
~Teresa~

[caligurl]

lbtc.... i think you misunderstood when i mentioned WIL.... he's already in a happy home.... after bonnie stopped showing him.. she wouldn't even tell us she was placing him til after he was placed cuz she knew how badly we would have wanted him... and she wanted him in an only dog situation.... however... i DO want to get another dog/puppy.. but not right now.... not sure when.... it took a year after kassie before i would consider another cat (then we ended up with two! lol!)

i plan to make a separate webpage memorial to tyler... just haven't been up to it.. maybe sometime over the next few days when i'm off work! i keep thinking things in my head that i want to remember to add... i made one for kassie and thought it came out really nice... but i also remember the tears shed when making it!

i also want to update his section of the dogs' webpage... it (along with brie's) is not too up-to-date!)

uhm.... yes... he is being cremated/has been.... we don't have him back yet, though.... that way he can always go with us if we ever move....

brie has ALWAYS been self-centered! when we had to leave tyler in the hospital... i got the impression she didn't care that he wasn't there... i may be wrong.. however... friday.. .when we came home... we both just sat on the floor in the living room and she was sniffing us (as were the cats) and she was whining..... not quite a doggie cry... but not anything she usually does... so i'm sure she realized/realizes what happened.. and because she does lay/lie in his spots occasionally.. i think.. in her own way.. she misses him! and i'm sure she'd love a puppy... as long as we paid attention to HER!

she (and the cats) are getting a lot of extra attention.... possibly too much (at least for the cats)...

[makbike]

Caligurl -

I know exactly what you are going through. I found out today that my buddy of 11 1/2 years has cancer in his lungs and his spleen. I basically knew this was coming given the vet removed a growth back in January 2005 that came back as melanoma. It is just as aggressive in animals as it is in humans so I knew it was just a matter of time before the cancer spread. Even though I knew it was coming did not make it was very hard to hear the diagnosis today and realize the end is quite near. I know, from working in an animal clinic, that he has just a few weeks left on this planet and I will have to make the decision to let him cross the rainbow bridge in the very near future. It is never an easy decision as you know but it is in reality a pet owner's final act of love to keep their beloved pet from suffering. Quality of life is so much more important than quantity, IMO.

Take time to grieve, cherish your memories and when you heart is ready to accept a new addition it will scream at you. Your bike will be waiting for you when you are ready to climb back on it, don't push yourself for you need to let your heart and soul heal; take your time and take care of yourself.

[Yasmin]

Sorry to hear about your loss caligirl. I don't have human children so my pets are my babies. Just 'cause they're a different species makes no difference when it comes to losing a member of the family.
4 weeks ago we lost one of our cats. Got bitten by an Eastern Brown snake (2nd deadliest in the world). The cats have a cat enclosure & the snake came into this. I wasn't out riding that time, but I was in the computer room. I felt guilty about that. The thing is, no matter how hard we try to protect our loved ones, s..t happens. As others have said, dogs & cats etc do not react the same as us when unwell. You loved your dog & your dog would have known this. You can't be with a pet or a person 100% of the time.
Try not to be too harsh on yourself. Your dog had a way better life than many on this planet. Let that thought comfort you. Take care.

[mary9761]

It's been a year and a half since Smokey crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. I was so glad to know where to look for the poem when we came home from the vet's office. As I held him in my arms rocking him in the blanket we'd wrapped him in. I sat and pulled up the poem. Just before they gave him his injection to ease his suffering, I looked at him and said I'd meet him at the Rainbow Bridge. I'm misting up even now. Give your babies plenty of love and assure them they will see their brother at the Bridge as well when the time comes.
I finally found the perfect marker for Smokey's grave in the back yard. I'd been looking for either a garden marker of a cat in repose or something with a black cat and at Halloween this year I found a decoration of a cat on a pedestal that looks like the concrete markers.

[Pax]

Oh Cali, I'm so sorry about your pup.