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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,394

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    Everything everyone said and then some.
    You can still change your phone #.
    Do not talk to him at all.
    Change your routines and anything else that would give him an idea about where you are. If you are getting a funny feeling, like you are not safe, call the police.
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  2. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Jacksonville area of NC
    Posts
    821
    What everyone else said. I 2nd Crankin's comment that you can still change your phone number.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    4,516
    You've gotten some amazing advice here, and I'm not going to re-iterate it all - just one piece.

    This kind of behavior can indicate more serious issues. Safety should be your first priority - change your number, bounce the emails if possible (some companies can let you do that), change your routine. Protect yourself. Not to concern you - but it really can be serious. Trust yourself - Crankin is right - if you get a bad feeling/funny feeling/you run into him "accidentally" - call the cops.
    Most days in life don't stand out, But life's about those days that will...

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    where the wind comes sweeping down the plain
    Posts
    5,251
    sounds like now he's using fear to control you.
    Glad you made the decision to end the relationship and that you're happy. Take good care of yourself- and be happy!!!
    Check out my running blog: www.turtlepacing.blogspot.com

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  5. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    10,889
    (((Badger))) everyone is giving good advice, do what you need to do to cut the ties and keep yourself safe. He is doing everything he can think of to manipulate you. Good for you for doing what you needed to do...and be safe. Depending on how obsessive he is, this could go on for a time. Don't be slow to call the cops if you need to!

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    311
    Congrats on getting out of that relationship. Been there, done that, it's not your job to help him heal. Anything of his is not your responsibility from the day you said "It's over". From now on, the only thing he will hear from you should be "I'm sorry you are upset, please call the crisis hotline/your friend/ your mom/ whatever to talk about it. I will not discuss this with you any more." And yes, even if he threatens suicide. Just, you know, call the police on him if he actually threatens it. Log and record all interactions in case he gets dangerous. Lock all social media accounts. And go on enjoying your life free of him. Hopefully, he gets the message without needing any drastic measures.
    "My school is the doubt in your eyes." - Tito Mukhopadhyay

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,333
    thanks ladies. I've asked a couple of his friends to "help" him, and they both agree that I've done the right thing because neither of them saw any indication that anything he said about committing to me was ever forthcoming.

    Thankfully he's in a different country altogether, so I don't think my physical safety will be too much of an issue. There is a possibility he could just show up, but I'm sure his family and friends will put a stop to that before he does anything like it. The friend did say he's on the mend so hopefully that's true and he'll be over me pretty quickly!

 

 

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