Bicycle dates

[singletrackmind]

I got to know my husband when we were both racing mtbs. We eventually got together for a ride and after several of these found we had many similar interests, morals and personalities so started dating.

[mtbdarby]

WOW, Doctorfrau, what good timing on this thread.

I too have been trying on line dating and have hit a very frustrated point. I actually changed my profile a bit this morning downplaying the fact that I love biking (mtb in particular), because I'm starting to think it's intimidating to guys. I was in a funk all weekend long - partially because it was cold and rainy - but partially because all of a sudden I really missed my ex boyfriend, a fellow mtb'er who dumped me 7 months ago. We never even road together so I guess I am starting to think that even though I'd love to have a SO share my love of biking, what's more important are the bigger things to me - having a partner who has the same religious and family beliefs, moral and values, and a passion for other hobbies in life. I'm pretty sure my SO (if he's out there) will like some type of sport, I just haven't figured out how to find him yet.

Right now, I feel dating sucks. The guys I like aren't the guys that like me (that's a drinking toast, right?) so for now I'm just trying to focus on being the best me and loving me for who I am and where I'm at with my life right now. The worst part of it for me is that I'm lonely. I have friends, but I miss having a relationship with a SO that fills a different kind of void, you know? Winter makes that more evident because of the weather and not being able to be outside as much, as well as the holidays which are quickly approaching.

Maybe we could check each others profiles out and see what kind of vibes and person we are protraying? I have never had a friend read it so maybe I'm giving off psycho vibes or something?? Who knows. But thanks to those with great dh's and so's for sharing your great stories and keeping the hope alive for the rest of us!

[Trek420]

mtbdarby "WOW, Doctorfrau, what good timing on this thread."

yes, thanks for bringing this up.

"I actually changed my profile a bit this morning downplaying the fact that I love biking (mtb in particular), because I'm starting to think it's intimidating to guys."

I dunno about that, I would not change a thing in your ad mrdarby, but in true lesbian fashion I feel one just has to put it out there in the universe.

Sure we TE'ers can veg with the best of them but you need to say that if sitting in front of the tube and PC is all they do...you're not gonna be a happy camper...or biker or kayaker or whatever. That's just being honest.

"I was in a funk all weekend long - partially because it was cold and rainy - but partially because all of a sudden I really missed my ex boyfriend, a fellow mtb'er who dumped me 7 months ago. We never even road together so I guess I am starting to think that even though I'd love to have a SO share my love of biking, what's more important are the bigger things to me - having a partner who has the same religious and family beliefs, moral and values, and a passion for other hobbies in life."

Sorry about the break up. ::sighs:: realizes stand back folks the TE board is going to shift into SAD mode soon, days are shorter, days are colder, we can't ride as much, indoor trainer, spin classes they just don't cut it, we're heading for a season of funk unless we make good friends with winter sports.

"I'm pretty sure my SO (if he's out there) will like some type of sport, I just haven't figured out how to find him yet."

He's out there!!!! You just have to find him or vice versa.

It's been suggested some sort of TE warning/rateing/review system here for the single gals along the lines of: went on a date with "he'sallthat" (fictitious name) on match.com I give him 1 out of a possible 5 chain rings for nipple stareing and it wasn't at the ones on my spokes.

[mtbdarby]

Trek, you crack me up! I thought I'd try the profile change and see if it produced any different results, good or bad. I'm still smarting from the last guy I met - who I actually liked for a change - and he emails me and said "I'm not interested in dating you". For some reason, that bluntness just smarted. And I would have liked to know why so I can focus on different kinds of guys that I would be a better match with but hey, it never works out that way, does it?

The dreaded time change happens this weekend. Isn't there a way to repeal that stupid decision? Why does Arizona not have to do it and who else? Parts of Michigan and Indiana? I may whine all week over that.....Good thing I broke down and bought a light for my bikey!!! Should be here Wednesday

[Trek420]

mtbdarby "Trek, you crack me up!"

I'm not kidding. We test ride and rate bikes for each other, right? Bianchi vs Specialized, Trek vs Giant...why not men?

Just kidding all you guys who are lurking here (we know you're here, we see the seat left up)

[AutumnBreez]

Advice from the Married, DH is out on a 2 day charity ride as I write this.
He was riding for over a year before I got my bike. He rides with other guys at his/higher level on the weekend days, I don't have the same ability, nor do I feel I could ever catch up to these men anyway- not average riders, and accepting it slowly. When he rides on the weekends in the morning, sometimes he will go ride with me later, on my safe roads. So that he can get it out of his system early. I don't think that you can base a whole lot on the bike dating . Fact is you may find a really great guy who cycles but he may still want to hang with those that challenge him, if you meet one that is a machine like my dh. Be prepared. But remember there are much more other great qualities to look for in a person then the bike rider before you. Attention for those who mention beliefs/ religion: If your beliefs/religion really truely have a high importance to you, foremost, your priority should be more focused on finding your potential partner in life with those belief qualities you admire, adore, and appreciate (the 3 A's) and willing to live with- no expectations of human perfection. As things will fall into the right place from there. Beliefs that one holds are generally far more solid of a foundation, one that has been forming throughout the years.
There may be someone out there perfect for you, and may, or maynot have rode a (mtb/road) bike in the method you desire. We all began to ride at one point or another.
Perhaps you will find your life partner with all the virtuous qualities you want and can accept, AND purhaps he has never experienced cycling till you introduce him to it. Since I (we) can't and shouldn't try to change a persons beliefs, I would rather find the good qualities in someone first off, than to ride a bike with them anyday. Don't look too hard! Every thing in moderation! Cheers!

[emily_in_nc]

Just chiming in as an old married gal here - married 20 years. When we got engaged, I was just a little athletic - did aerobics and a little jogging, but my fiance and soon-to-be husband was much more so - played on a softball team, ran 10Ks, lifted, cycled some. A few years into our marriage, he gave me a road bike for my birthday, and I was thrilled! That didn't turn out to be the perfect bike for me (it was too big, go figure!), but thus began a multi-yeared love affair with the sport of cycling that Barry already loved. I've been on-and-off with it over the past 15 years or so, we've had many bikes apiece, tandemed for awhile, even tried recumbents, and now each have four single bikes and still love riding. He created a bit of a monster!

Over the years, we've evolved into a pretty sporty couple. In addition to riding, we both lift (not a lot, just enough for good tone) and walk, and just this year have gotten into kayaking and more serious hiking. We were never able to have kids, so having shared activities is very important to us in keeping our marriage strong. We both have a few activities that we enjoy alone, but we enjoy our shared activities very much indeed. It's so nice to have a riding partner right here at home! I think I'd have a very difficult time being married to a non-rider. But that's just me!

Emily

[doctorfrau]

Darby -- I too have wondered if my profile is intimidating or "psycho vibe"! Have tried different permutations of it too - just to see. Mostly I just have to be myself, and I think you should too.

Trek -- Ratings and "test rides" eh??? .... I give him an A for strength and flexibility of his frame, but performance was only a C, as he wasn't firm enough in the saddle....

So, here's the date report....

We met up at noon on Sunday. Parking near the trailhead was crowded due to there being a festival in town this weekend. Weather was cool and damp, but do-able. I took it a little easy at first, because his bike looked like it hadn't been ridden in awhile, and he had to stop on the way to where we met so that he could buy a helmet. He was right up there with me though and we soon settled into a nice conversation as we rode. I gave him a few opportunities to say that he wanted to turn around and go back, but he didn't. He had hot muscular calves too! We ended up doing the whole 40 mile round-trip, so I was really impressed and the conversation was great - made the trip go really fast. When we got back to the parking area......... both of our cars had been TOWED!!!!!

We had to find a restaurant to call around to see where they had been taken. Turns out that the other cars had parked in front of the "no parking" sign that we didn't see So we rode the bikes about another 5 miles across town to the impound place and stood around in the 45 degree weather for half an hour - sweated through and losing core temperature while waiting for the guy to show up.

We had to cough up $157.50 ..... APIECE........ CASH ONLY!!!!

By then we were so cold, that we proceeded to the Blue Moose to drink copious amounts of Hot coffee and talk for another hour.
Bit of an expensive adventure for a first date, but he seemed really nice and seemed to take it all okay..... we'll see if I ever hear from him again!!!


Thanks for all the great advice and commiseration!

[Rakekay]

By then we were so cold, that we proceeded to the Blue Moose to drink copious amounts of Hot coffee and talk for another hour.
Bit of an expensive adventure for a first date, but he seemed really nice and seemed to take it all okay..... we'll see if I ever hear from him again!!!
!

Hey, any guy who'll ride 45 miles with you (who hasn't ridden for a while), wait around in the cold to get your cars back and STILL want to spend more time with you drinking coffee and talking for another hour is well worth a second date. Don't wait around for him to call you -- you give him a call if you don't hear from him soon!

[Trek420]

cool, great "date review" ;-) we will stay tuned.

As for me, discretion being the better art of valor I will just say I do not see a U-haul in my car port in the near future.

[pkq]

Since I've worked in a predominantly male environment for years, many men have said independent, strong women intimidate them. That shouldn't be cause for any to change their profile. It's better for them to know long before than shortly after. It's better for you, too. Being strong and independent is something you can't hide and shouldn't want to either. Be yourselves and Mr. Right will come along. Hopefully Mr. Right will not want to change you either.

Above all, live life to its fullest and be happy regardless of relationship circumstances. Being in a relationship can be very trying and difficult at times so you need that stability and independence going into a relationship. You only have one shot at this so make the most of it. People, including men, are attracted to women who enjoy life, are interested in life, are positive, happy, and have hobbies. You can't expect a man to fulfill your deepest needs. Humanity is too frail for that kind of pressure.

People cannot make you happy but they can enhance your happiness.

doctorfrau, him taking the parking mishap and fine in stride is a good thing. That would tick some off and you'd hear the soap box lecture for 5 minutes.

[SadieKate]

Doc, great story! It's on par with Bubba's and my first date (involving a broken down car, turkey farm and a 13 hr first date). We've coming up on our 18th wedding anniversary and will have been together 22 years.

[shewhobikes]

As someone who's just lived through a 2nd divorce (both at my initiation) let me say that I'm in this boat because I "changed my profile." Not online, literally, of course, but I adjusted and accommodated myself to be more of a fit, and wound up very unhappy. And I really tried (13 years the first time, 10 the second).

So now, yes, sometimes I'm lonely. But lonely beats miserable hands down.

I'm really not bitter but I've learned my lesson. I'll be myself (best foot forward, of course) and if my real self attracts someone, it'll be for the right reasons.

Now, where are those cycling single web sites?

That said, I'm sure none of you are putting out psycho vibes because you are all great women and wonderful people. Doctorfrau, your date sounds great to me!

[Trek420]

shewhobikes asks "Now, where are those cycling single web sites? "

you mean this one?

www.CyclingSingles.com

[Bustertb]

I've been married going on 11 years. Having your mate ride with you won't be a sticking point years after you are married because you will WANT to go on a ride BY YOURSELF!

Everyone is different and my situation isn't the norm. DH and I work together so we are together more than ppl who have different jobs. I am someone who likes her space. I LOVE my DH. But my bike rides are my time to cleanse my soul as well as my legs.

And it'll be nice to be able to leave the kids with hubby and go for a bike ride without him wanting to go too and then getting in a row over who can go for a ride.

Use your heart to find him, but use your head to decide if he's the one. Good luck!