Teaching children: budgeting

[shootingstar]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe...1949455/page1/

Well how did you learn over time?

Looking back, I think it's remarkable that all of us, myself and sibs, have been savers as adults. We don't do terrible things on each other ie. borrow money and never pay back, or pestering each other for loans or leaching off one another. We each have bought homes on our own. We didn't borrow from parents.

And we never got allowance as children nor as teens. Parents just couldn't afford it.

I am not kiddin'. The rule of thumb around the house: was we would have greater freedom of what we wanted when we started to earn our own money.

And we weren't allowed to take on part-time paid jobs until in our final 1-2 years of high school. We had to focus on our studies.

I'm not sure how my parents did it..but with each of us there were some fierce arguments. Whatever we each asked for, it had to have a good reason and be justified, so usually one saved the discussion/debate for something that was hotly desired.

I do credit my parents that they engaged in long thoughtful discussions amongst themselves about their finances...which large part of the time they never hid from us. Of course they didn't have "sinful" spending habits or obsessions where one of them spent an obscene amount of money in a wasteful way.

When I was 12 yrs. my parents told me how much they paid for their first house.

[Crankin]

My parents didn't teach me explicitly. I got an allowance from about age 10, which increased to about $5.00 a week when I graduated HS in 1971. But that was really for fun money. Like going to the movies, etc. My parents paid for everything. When I was young, until about the end of middle school, they had tons of $. Then, my dad lost his job and it was never the same, really, even after he was employed again, but I had grandparents who picked up the slack for a lot.
I started babysitting in 7th grade and made a TON of money. I continued this through my first 2 years of college and then had a work-study job at the university. I bought a lot of my clothes and also spent for social activities. I had a savings account, which I had to use for books and stuff.
If anything, I learned from my parents. Don't do what they did! Get an education and save for retirement. My dad is 86, has nothing to show for many years of hard work. I always had a bit less than everyone else, even when my parents were very, very comfortable. No trips to Europe, no car of my own, etc. We went to Cape Cod every summer (rented a cottage, no second home) with the whole family, no summer camp for 8 weeks like all of my friends. My family is (was) very "Yankee," which means no big show of stuff, despite the fact they were surrounded by wealth.
My own kids had plenty, but always less than their friends. They each got a savings account in first grade. We made them pay for their own ski lessons when we moved here with some of that money! Boy, they hated me for that. They got an allowance for fun stuff, but we paid for most things. They used to pool their birthday and Chanukah money to buy computer games. Oldest son got his first real paid job as soon as he could drive himself there and so did the second one. They also both babysat from age 12 on and made plenty. Especially the younger one; he was besieged with requests from families who had boys when he was the only boy who worked in the child development lab at the high school. In fact, he bought his first bike with that money and that is what started our family cycling.
My kids are both financially independent and responsible. They also both like nice things, which I am pretty sure they learned from us. We made sure they started off with no debt, but the rest was up to them.

[Tri Girl]

I was #7 of 8 kids. Never earned allowance and always had hand-me-downs. In my house you got a job when you turned 13 (babysitting or mowing lawns until it was legal to work). I paid for half my car (parents paid the other half), and I paid my own insurance/gas on that car. Once I got a job my parents didn't pay for ANYTHING (well, aside from the obvious food and shelter in the house).
Once I got a job I paid for clothes, school lunches, extracurricular expenses and anything else I needed/wanted.
I am appreciative of how my parents raised me with finances. I appreciate everything I got because from age 13 on it was bought with my own money.
One bad thing is that I was never taught how to balance a checkbook, so when I got to college I bounced a dozen checks before the bank lady sat down and taught me how to keep up with an account (sad, but true- I was soooo embarrassed ).

When I got to college I went a little overboard and opened up a credit card and spent WAY too much money on things I didn't need because we had so little growing up. Got smart my senior year of college and got it all paid off. Now I save like a maniac and don't live beyond my means (I live below my means and pump as much as possible into savings and retirement).

[shootingstar]

Once I got a job my parents didn't pay for ANYTHING (well, aside from the obvious food and shelter in the house).
Once I got a job I paid for clothes, school lunches, extracurricular expenses and anything else I needed/wanted.
I am appreciative of how my parents raised me with finances. I appreciate everything I got because from age 13 on it was bought with my own money.

Wow, Tri Girl, starting to pay for serious stuff at 13...

My parents were quite poor but still they didn't ask that out of us and if we weren't allowed to have a job at that time, well then nothing was possible.

Actually even at university for my 2 degrees, I was flabbergasted that many students went off south into Florida to vacation for a few days. None of my friends did, and they came from families with more money. As soon as I started to earn money for full time work after university parents told me to start saving abit for retirement.

I started to listen them ...3-4 yrs. later, socking abit of money lazily away, not truly understanding what I was doing in terms of making money grow. Then I snapped out of it when I started to consider a home...

Wow Murrien no credit card. That is an achievement. And I'm a person that has only had to pay interest twice in my lifetime on overdue credit card bills. I consider it an achievement that I don't used debit card. So M. you are remarkable.

[Tri Girl]

Wow, Tri Girl, starting to pay for serious stuff at 13...

My parents were quite poor but still they didn't ask that out of us and if we weren't allowed to have a job at that time, well then nothing was possible.

Don't mean to make them sound like slave-drivers. I think they just really wanted us to know the value of a dollar and to not take anything for granted. And plus, with so many kids I truly think they just needed help with expenses- and none of us minded. I didn't know any better so it didn't seem unreasonable. I earned about $20/week from babysitting and that was enough to buy lunch at school (seriously- all I wanted to eat at lunch was a pizza pocket for $1 at lunch) and the clothes I wanted (even then I was a Goodwill/thrift store kind of person). By the time I got a real job and started driving I earned a lot more. Acadmeics were VERY important to them, too, and we had to toe the line with our schoolwork. I worked hard academically to get a scholarship to college because I knew that scholarship and loans were the only way to get a degree.

I take that back- they always took us clothes shopping at the start of the school year and they bought us a new pair of shoes and a new outfit. I'm sure that set them back quite a chunk of change. They worked sooooo hard (mom worked 2 jobs, dad worked one with very long hours). They did the best they could with limited educations and resources. I never felt like I wanted for anything or that I went without. I never felt poor, until I became an adult and realized what little we had. We only took two family vacations growing up- when I was 11 we went to the Grand Canyon and when I was 14 we went to Disneyland. Those were the BEST vacations I've ever had (even better than some I've had as an adult).

[jessmarimba]

I grew up with my aunts' old toys and thrift-store clothes. We would go on vacation in the motor home for a month in the summer, but it was the thriftiest summer vacation you ever saw - my sister and I would save the coins we found to buy candy We didn't get an allowance, even when we did we couldn't "have" it (It went in the bank), we brought bag lunches to school and field trips, and I don't remember seeing a movie outside of the $1 theater growing up.

One thing I'm really good at now is vacationing on a budget (it helps that I like to camp!) But in reality, the only "fun" thing I spend money on now is plane tickets to go see my guy.

[lph]

My son has his first job now at 13, delivering the paper 3 times a week. It's 2 hours of hard work each time, and he deserves the money he makes, which is considerable for a 13.yr.old. So far he's free to spend it on anything he likes, but we cover food and lodging (of course), most public transport, basic clothing (which he cares zip about) and basic used sports equipment - bike, skis and skates. If he wants new gear or expensive clothes he'll have to pay for them himself, but so far I think all he's paid for is a computer game or two and a couple of outings with friends. If he was just spending money all over the place instead of saving it we might ask him to pay more himself, but since he's that thrifty we don't.

[tangentgirl]

One big thing I regret is not starting contributing to a 401k earlier. Dangit, I worked at <big company> for 5 years starting at age 18. They matched, but I was so young and dumb and retirement seemed stupid and far away and why would I put my money into something I didn't understand, when I could have an extra $5 in my pocket right then? I remember even trying to turn them down for health insurance, cause I didn't want to pay the extra $4 a week or whatever it was. Luckily that didn't fly. Yeah.

That kind of stuff just wasn't valued or talked about in my family. My parents didn't have jobs with *fancy* things like retirement or insurance.

High school, on the other hand, could have done a better job. There should be mandatory classes on personal finance. I didn't really figure things out until my early 30s, after making a concerted effort to learn more and change bad habits.

**Editing because I'm still shaking my head at my 18yo self. I remember literally thinking that the 401k stuff must be a scam and people who gave their money to it were suckers. Geez!**

[shootingstar]

My son has his first job now at 13, delivering the paper 3 times a week. It's 2 hours of hard work each time, and he deserves the money he makes, which is considerable for a 13.yr.old. So far he's free to spend it on anything he likes, but we cover food and lodging (of course), most public transport, basic clothing (which he cares zip about) and basic used sports equipment - bike, skis and skates. If he wants new gear or expensive clothes he'll have to pay for them himself, but so far I think all he's paid for is a computer game or two and a couple of outings with friends. If he was just spending money all over the place instead of saving it we might ask him to pay more himself, but since he's that thrifty we don't.

Great, lph. My dearie has his story of his paper route which he had back then at that age and biking around in the winter through the snow to deliver newspapers. They were poor enough, he actually offered to his mother, to pay for some food at times. Can you imagine, at that age? I know his mother took on knitting (this was the 1950's) and other work to make money. His stepfather occasionally drank too much.. and was not as frugal as his mother.

Technology these days, is just one more type of stuff for anyone to covet these days. Especially kids unless they have other passions/distractions.

I do have a favourite memory of my mother sewing a shirt for my father with standup collars, tailored cuffs.....by using expensive Viyella lightweight plaid wool from Scotland. He wore it nearly every wk. It was her way of "treating" him with a gift, I supppose. She spent a certain amount of time with him to select the fabric, etc.