Dear So and So

[winddance]

Dear downstairs neighbors,

I'm a pretty tolerant person. I've put up with a lot in my life, having been an RA during college with the getting woken up at 3am because some idiot forgot their keys at the library which is three blocks away and open 24 hours and "didn't want to go back to get them"...oh, do I sound bitter?

It's probably because I have never had the misfortune of living around such inconsiderate people. You burn incense and blow cigarette smoke into my apartment. You have loud parties. You prop open the front door to our secure building to let your friends into these loud parties.

I'm okay with noise up to a certain point. I mean, it's weekend. This isn't like the time you had one on a Monday night when 3/4 of the building has to get up and go to work in the morning. I'm all right with it until say 10:30. Then you had best be quieting down or I will absolutely call the management on you and you will be caught (again) in violation of the quiet clause of your lease.

I'm just saying.

No love,
WD

[Nanci]

Dear Mysterious Doctor Who Didn't Tell Me Your Name,

I am sorry you think you are special and can't follow the written protocol for requirements to be met before calling to schedule a patient. You probably shouldn't have hung up on me. Your life would be so much easier if you helped me conserve my limited resources and just followed the rules...

Nanci

[DrBee]

Dear personnel office/selecting official,

Whoever has my application, please forward to the appropriate person and have them call me for an interview before I lose my mind anticipating the call. I seem to always have some sort of chaos in my life, but waiting to hear about this job is wearing on me - big time!

Sincerely,
FishDr wanting to be a BzzDr

[light_sabe_r]

Dear Hospital Building and Maintenence Services.

I do understand you're very busy people. As are we. We're in the middle of researching the cure for type II diabetes. We'd appreciate it next time you warn us when you turn off the VITAL gas supplies we need in order to keep our tissue cultures healthy.

Meanwhile both the research wing and the clinical department are requesting ear muffs. The alarms are getting to much to bear.

[DebW]

Dear Building and Grounds Manager,

Why, oh why, did you cut down the blueberry bushes outside the office? They had small green berries on them 2 weeks ago. I was hoping for a ripe berry today. But the bushes have been eliminated, chopped down, removed. Why??? Surely they were not in anyone's way, down there by the road on the side of the drive, inside the circle of manicured groundcover and poison ivy. For your information, I must have picked 20 quarts of blueberries off those two bushed last summer, and I shared them with everyone in my office (after I ate my fill of course - you can't expect them ALL to go in the picking bowl). Those berry bushes produced from early July until early September last year. If I got hungry at work and didn't have anything to eat, all I had to do was walk outside and pick berries. They were delicious, and nourishing, and full of anti-oxidants. Did you even realize that they were blueberry bushes before you had them cut down? I bet you didn't even tell the poor schmucks cutting them about the poison ivy.

Your truly,
A building tenant who is going to be hungry and grumpy this summer

[chickwhorips]

dear bear gods,

can you please stay off the roads so i can go out and get a good ride in. also, can you please stay away from me while i'm trying to hike around with my sister when she gets into town.... i hear the salmon are in the creek, but not the one that i just happen to have a fishing pole next to i swear.

thanks much!

[Bad JuJu]

Dear three sisters-in-law--Now that you're all grown up, that is, over 50 years old, could one of you just once call your brother just to say "Hi, how are ya, bro? How's life treating you? I love you" instead of ONLY calling when you need money or want him to fix something for you or to move one of your loser boyfriends out of your house? Jeez!

[mimitabby]

Dear Building and Grounds Manager,

Why, oh why, did you cut down the blueberry bushes outside the office? They had small green berries on them 2 weeks ago. I bet you didn't even tell the poor schmucks cutting them about the poison ivy.

Your truly,
A building tenant who is going to be hungry and grumpy this summer

Geez, Deb, that is awful! What a waste! there's nothing nicer than a blueberry bush.. and now they're gone.

[salsabike]

Dear Contractor,

Congratulations. It's, like, a week into our house expansion project and you have already managed to find a problem that will raise the cost by $15,000-$30,000. Pretty cool. You just used up all our budgeted surplus in one move. And if you don't get back here soon to clean up the HUGE hole in the yard and the mountains of dirt, I personally will hunt you down and make you watch The Goddess Kring on the local public access channel until you fix the problem. Arrgh.

PS The Goddess Kring is a large young woman who does an odd little show of her own on public access TV that involves weird costumes, lots of make-up and glitter, nudity, candles, cosmic-sounding music, and goofy dancing. It's absolutely bizarre.

[snapdragen]

PS The Goddess Kring is a large young woman who does an odd little show of her own on public access TV that involves weird costumes, lots of make-up and glitter, nudity, candles, cosmic-sounding music, and goofy dancing. It's absolutely bizarre.

Good lord, has that woman ever worn a bra? Those b00bs are close to her navel!

[snapdragen]

Dear Comcast Cable TV: Please try to do something about the sound quality. Going from whisper quiet to ear splitting -- on the same channel, within minutes is getting really old.

**anybody out there have a dish? Opinions on Direct TV and Dish Network wanted**

[mikki]

Dear Board of Registerd Nursing,
Perhaps this is too much to ask, but could you make an effort to streamline the approval process for applicants? I realize that we have spent the previous four years of our lives working toward this goal, and that waiting 10-30 days for the results of our NCLEX examination to post should not be too much to ask. However, one would think that servicing a state reknowned for it's ability to utilize the newest trends in computers, this would be a faster process. Or perhaps you could meerly allow us to use the service offered by the testing people, so that we can at least know that we passed this gods-forsaken-exam- from-Heck!! Please, our sanity is in your hands.

[Trek420]

Dear Dishnetwork peeps,

Your sound/picture quality and customer service is great.

You never laugh (to my face) when the problem turns out to be "M'am, you have your remote on TV, not SAT" or "M'am is the DVR plugged in? Very good, is there anything else I can help you with? (like how to tie your shoes)".

I'm sure after I'm off the phone you group message the office "hey, got a live one! And she works for .... "*

And you're customer service is union and in the US, not that people in India aren't faaaaaabulous and need and deserve good jobs too.

Thank you Dishnetwork guy, OLN was on before I even finished chatting about the Tour with you.

Thank you for carrying Free Speach TV and tons of cool educational channels and rural channels too.

Could you please just get Logo so I could catch re-runs of the movie about ALC 5?

*disclosure to TE I work for AT&T, formerly known as SBC, formerly known as Pacific Bell, formerly known as AT&T.....an affiliate of Dish, now back to your regular TE program.

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Chatty Cathys,

That sure was a nice ride today, all rural and rolling and little county roads. Um, did you even notice that minute or two when we actually had traffic in both directions at the same time? How about the fact that the oncoming traffic was having to pull over far enough to drive in the weeds on the 18 inch shoulder? Maybe next time you can stop flapping your lips long enough to suck it in and ride single file for a few hundred yards. I didn't mean to be rude when I pulled around and rode away, you seemed like a nice bunch of gals, but I really didn't want anyone assuming I was with you after you drove several vehicles very near the ditch.

Share the road,

fixedgeargirl

[Lise]

Dear Board of Registerd Nursing,
Perhaps this is too much to ask, but could you make an effort to streamline the approval process for applicants? ...

Hang in there, Mikki. You'll have that thin envelope in your hands very, very soon. (In my day, a thin envelope meant you passed. A thick one meant you were taking the test again.) Then you get to decide you want to be an APN in some specialty and wait for the equivalent of that thin envelope some day... ...let me be the first to say: Welcome to the field. You are a nurse. You just don't have the paper quite yet. L.