Dear Contractor,

Congratulations. It's, like, a week into our house expansion project and you have already managed to find a problem that will raise the cost by $15,000-$30,000. Pretty cool. You just used up all our budgeted surplus in one move. And if you don't get back here soon to clean up the HUGE hole in the yard and the mountains of dirt, I personally will hunt you down and make you watch The Goddess Kring on the local public access channel until you fix the problem. Arrgh.

PS The Goddess Kring is a large young woman who does an odd little show of her own on public access TV that involves weird costumes, lots of make-up and glitter, nudity, candles, cosmic-sounding music, and goofy dancing. It's absolutely bizarre.