Engrish in your daily life - sandwiches mastered

[DirtDiva]

I've seen some great ones whilst flat hunting. The absolute winner would have to be "flatemates wanted"...

[SadieKate]

I've seen some great ones whilst flat hunting.

Why are you looking for flats? Don't they slow down your rides?

Sadie "very American" Kate

[Lise]

Flatemates tend to be fairly pompous. On porpoise.

[crazycanuck]

K..eskimóes have 9 words for snow...you have to read this as it's just too funny....No matter how old it is!!!

What are the nine Eskimo words for snow?
16-Feb-1979


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Dear Cecil:

In view of the blizzards we frequently have here in the Great White Midwest, how about a vocabulary lesson? I've heard the Eskimos have nine words for snow. What are they? --Karen, Chicago

Dear Karen:

I've got a lot more than nine words for snow, and I don't even need to resort to Eskimo. This is because I have a powerful descriptive vocabulary.

However, if we must confine ourselves to Eskimo talk, I can still come up with quite a few terms, as long as you will let me throw in some words for ice too: kaniktshaq, snow; qanik, falling snow; anijo, snow on the ground; hiko (tsiko in some dialects), ice; tsikut, large broken up masses of ice; hikuliaq, thin ice; quahak, new ice without snow; kanut, new ice with snow; pugtaq, drift ice; peqalujaq, old ice; manelaq, pack ice; ivuneq, high pack ice; maneraq, smooth ice; akuvijarjuak, thin ice on the sea; kuhugaq, icicle; nilak, fresh water ice; and tugartaq, firm winter ice.

If we wish to include peripheral items we may speak of iglo, snow house (igloo); haviujaq, snow knife; puatlrit, snow shovel; uvkuag, block of snow for closing the door of a snow hut. I imagine after-dinner chats in Eskimoland must get a bit monotonous after a while, considering the restricted range of subject matter. Fortunately, they have about 20 words for trout to liven things up with.

Most of the preceding words are from the dialect of the Umingmaktormiut, a tribe living in the eastern part of arctic America. Since the necessary diacritical marks are not available, the spellings are a little on the approximate side. However, Eskimos are not such hot spellers anyway.

The problem with trying to pin down exactly how many Eskimo words there for snow and/or ice--or for anything, for that matter-- is that Eskimo is what is called a "polysynthetic" language, which means you sort of make up words as you go along, by connecting various particles to your basic root word. For example, we may add the suffix -tluk, bad, to kaniktshaq, snow, and come up with kaniktshartluk, bad snow.

By means of this system we may manufacture words that would fracture the jaw of an elk. To illustrate I offer the word takusariartorumagaluarnerpa, a chewy mouthful signifying: "Do you think he really intends to go look after it?" It takes nerve to flog your way through a word of this magnitude. That's why Eskimos are so laconic--they are conserving their strength for their next foray into their godawful grammar.

In my spare time I have been attempting to construct an Eskimo sentence in my basement, such as will be suitable for the season. I have not get it perfected yet, but it is coming along pretty well, and with a little work it might pass for the genuine article. So far I have: kaniktshaq moritlkatsio atsuniartoq.

When completed, this sentence will proclaim: "Look at all this freaking snow." At present it means: "Observe the snow. It fornicates." This is not poetic, but it is serviceable, and I intend to employ it at the next opportunity. Anyone who feels it would alleviate his or her tension is invited to do likewise. Should it be felt that this is too burdensome a load of verbiage to be hauling around all the time, one may avail oneself of the timeless Eskimo interjection anaq, ****. This is appropriate to a wide variety of situations.

--CECIL ADAMS

[Lise]

Dear CC,

I understand you are "down under" nowadays, and that, being on the flip side of the equator, you are just past the winter solistice. However, seeing as how you are a "canuk" as well, I trust you understand that it is painful for us to discuss snow when we actually are past the danger of seeing it for, oh, say, at least a few weeks.

In the long, cold, winter months here in the Great White Midwest, I will re-up this post, and practice my Eskimo sentence contruction. Now that I have "freaking", I just need "cold", "windy", and "too damn". I'm sure Uncle Cecil can help..... L.

[Pedal Wench]

"Eats, Shoots and Leaves" is a wonderful book on the lack of proper punctuation in society today (Two Weeks Notice, for example) - y'all will love it!

Oh - and a game! http://eatsshootsandleaves.com/ESLquiz.html

[DirtDiva]

Flatemates tend to be fairly pompous. On porpoise.

Um, see, when I saw the word "flatemates", my mind leapt more to something along the lines of Dolly the Blow-up Sheep...

[Fredwina]

I just bought a LAS helmet(Italian), and thought I'd share with you all. Obviously , their translator needs a better command of English:
Thanks to long experience grown in Different sporting fields, ... LAS Helmets is considered a point of reference in the market of protection from shocks to the head.
and from the owner's manual:
One can never know when needing a Headgear. The headgear should therefore be worn correctly every time one practice a sport

[Zen]

I just bought a LAS helmet(Italian), ...
One can never when needing a Headgear. The headgear should therefore be worn correctly every time one practice a sport

Are you sure that's Italian?
That sounds suspiciously Chinese to me.

[madscot13]

My old roommate just got her namebadge for her medical receptionist job. Instead of Registrar it reads Registar. Well she is one of course. However, she just got the job and her training supervisor was upset. She thought that her namebadge should be RegisDiva because she has been there for countless years. Needless to say that is not happening and my friend's badge will be corrected to the chagrin of everyone outside of corporate medicine

[Fredwina]

Are you sure that's Italian?
That sounds suspiciously Chinese to me.

well, I did forget a word. stiil... maybe they outsourced the translation.

[Trek420]

SadieKate "Why are you looking for flats? Don't they slow down your rides?"

Flats hunt me.

Don't you need a permit to hunt flats? I prefer the more humane "catch and release" method to flat hunting

Trek-ethnocentric-420