Hilarious. I'm not going to comment either on how many apply to me, but these REALLY hit home:

You use wax on your chain, but not your car.

You have more bike jerseys than dress shirts.

You use the Yakima/Thule/etc Fit catalog to pick your next new car instead of Consumer Reports.

You clean your bike(s) more often then your car.

You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your buddies at 5:30 AM for a hammerfest.

You don't understand why your spouse isn't interested in riding 200K

Too funny