Although my lifestyle wasn't as extreme as your was, for instance I never smoked, I have made some changes in the past few years, cycling being a big one and cutting way back on caffine being another. I don't think you are a freak, just one of many of us trying to live a healthier life and from what you describe you are doing just that -- a step at a time (which is all you can really do). Give yourself some credit. Keep it up and I do think it gets easier as your body adjusts. Hang in there!