Inrulan-

...or the amazing comments (if, unfortunately you catapult in front of an audience) of "you landed ______ and _____(fill in the blanks) while watching yourself and everything else go over in slowmo...

Adventure girl -
Only a suggestion on the bruises, arnica gel. Its homopathic slight pain relief, contusion, bruising reducer. Try a small amout to see if it works for you. I carry it when I ride and slap it on immediately when anything but my feet hit the ground!