Dear So and So

[KSH]

She made amends for the violence. She did not make financial amends for the $50K debt she said she'd pay, on which promise she reniged (certainly that's not how to spell that word!). I hear she and new partner provide financial support to Buddist projects. I'm sure the monks wouldn't mind her paying off the project she left in my lap first.

I don't think anybody "does anything to deserve" any of this. I think there are charming, irresponsible, selfish people in the world, and some of us "fall in love with" them. I know I blinded myself to reality by keeping a fantasy of what should be happening in front of my eyes. I will not make certain mistakes again...but I've gone on to make others! Ah, being human...

At least she tried to make amends for the violence. Gawd, if any person... male or female... ever even tries to lay a hand me... they better run for their lives. I fight to win. I am so sorry you had to go through that!

OK, I have to say... 50K is worse than 24K... so, I should just be happy it wasn't more... right? 50K is really bad.

Charming, irresponsible and selfish... good way to describe it. I think we... the responsible ones... tend to be drawn to that... for some odd reason.

Yes, fantasy... we only see what we wan to see. For example, when someone told me my ex was cheating... I refused to see it.

Oh well.

Thanks for the reply. I am happy to hear that you are in a better place now.

[Brandy]

Dear children,

I appreciate that you are so enthusiastic about vermicomposting. Could you do me a favor though? When you go out in the back to visit the little wormies, could you make sure that you close the back door before you take the lid off of the compost bin? I really don't enjoy having three hundred and thirty eight fruit flies in the house.

Love,
Mom

[mtkitchn]

Bad things certainly happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. All we can control is OUR response.
Some of these recent posts remind of times spent in my own bitter world of "why me". Thank God I stopped the madness, picked myself up, and got MY life together solo before finding my DH, who is my equal in all. If I thought about the old days much I'd probably break down.

But maybe I have some unfinished business in me:

Dear ex-boyfriend of 1986-8:

Thank goodness the black eyes and busted sternum and countless other bruises have healed. Hope it felt good to beat up a woman, especially a young one with very little self confidence. When I finally left the state and you slit your wrists, I wish you'd done a better job.
If I was you, I'd be thanking SOMEBODY that I don't know where you live, because if I ever saw your pathetic carcass again, I'd probably kill you with my bare hands. You are the only human being on this earth that I actually HATE. After almost twenty years, it's amazing that I still DO hate you for those two years of hell. May you rot and find nothing but misery.
Hugs and Kisses,
Sue

Thank goodness I don't think of those years too often....
Brings out an ugly side I forgot I had!!!! Life sure is better now!!!

[doc]

MtKitchn

Wow. I am so glad you managed to get yourself out of that world. Some women spend years and years, sometimes their whole lives there.

The two lowest life forms: wife beaters (by which I mean any male who bullies/rapes/abuses women) and child molesters. There must be a special hell for them.

You are right about reality though. No one can control whether they get a raw deal or a good deal. And deals are not handed out based on need or what you "deserve". We can only control the choices we make ourselves. You should be incredibly proud of the massively difficult choices you made so many years ago. And continue to make.

[Lise]

mtk--broken sternum. Wow. You have to hit hard to do that. I'm sorry.

the woman who punched/choked/shoved/belittled/etc me was horribly abused as a child. My desire to be the one who healed her, saved her, made it all worth living for was so strong that I stayed and "took it" for 5 years. I've since come to see how grandiose and downright wrong that thinking is. Now, when I go out with someone who's telling me some story about how he is/was the "victim" of something, I get away as fast as I can. Cuz I know that when I can't fix it for him, it'll be my fault. I feel like I've got that lession in my bones.

Hearing your stories makes me think, once again, that you just don't know what that woman riding the bike has gone through to be as strong and hopeful as she is, cruising down the road.

Ride on, ladies. Now we're free. L.

[bikerz]

Hearing your stories makes me think, once again, that you just don't know what that woman riding the bike has gone through to be as strong and hopeful as she is, cruising down the road. Ride on, ladies. Now we're free. L.

Wow. Way to bring it home, Lise - nicely said.

[crazycanuck]

Dear whomever,

Thank you for allowing the above women to be here with us.

I just wanna say that i'm proud of you ladies for leaving the people that made life ****. You're tough chickies and i admire any woman for being strong enough to stand up for themselves.

Who needs a famous person to be a hero when we have our own on this board.

Thanks ladies

c

[betagirl]

Dear Betagirl,

I'm probably going to have nightmares due to you and your monkeys.

Disturbedly,

Nanci

Dear Nanci,

I'd help you out with that, but they don't let me practice psychology yet

Betagirl

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" - Charleton Heston

[betagirl]

Dear bowels,

You're acting funny the past week. It's probably something I ate, but....KNOCK IT OFF. You may think you're going to flare up on me, but that's just not an option. I'm still working on that organ exchange with someone to replace you. I hear someone is shopping around for a new pancreas. Watch it.

Me

[Lise]

Dear Nanci,

I'd help you out with that, but they don't let me practice psychology yet

Betagirl

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" - Charleton Heston

It's a madhouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's my favorite line from Planet of the Apes. And I believe it applies here.
...............................
and thanks, bz & cc. It sure makes one appreciate the peace and quiet.

[mtkitchn]

the woman who punched/choked/shoved/belittled/etc me was horribly abused as a child. My desire to be the one who healed her, saved her, made it all worth living for was so strong that I stayed and "took it" for 5 years. I've since come to see how grandiose and downright wrong that thinking is. Now, when I go out with someone who's telling me some story about how he is/was the "victim" of something, I get away as fast as I can. Cuz I know that when I can't fix it for him, it'll be my fault. I feel like I've got that lession in my bones.

Hearing your stories makes me think, once again, that you just don't know what that woman riding the bike has gone through to be as strong and hopeful as she is, cruising down the road.

Ride on, ladies. Now we're free. L.

Sorry it took so much pain for you to learn that life lesson, Lise!! But you are so right, we're free now!
I'll tell you, it never ceases to amaze me the past stories of the women I meet. You sure can't judge a book by its cover. Lotsa women who have been to hell and back but carry themselves as if their life has been as charmed as Paris Hilton's. I don't know who ever said woman was the weaker sex. Not true at all.

[Geonz]

Dear white sedan, DFX 645:
For I believe the second time, this morning you passed me on Green Street honking aggressively and pointing emphatically at the bike path to our right.
I understand that you would like me to be on that bikepath instead of on Green STreet, where you are forced to use the (clear) left lane to pass me. (Perhaps you would simply like me to cease to exist. Thankfully, others disagree.)
Do you understand that I am proceeding further west, and that the path ends (less than 100 yards from here) where you turn right on Wright Street?
If I were to use the bicycle path, I would be getting in a right-most lane... to the *right* of a right-turn-only lane... and then proceeding straight. Any guide towards road use directs drivers (and I am a driver of a vehicle, both legally and practically) not to do this, for what I hope are obvious reasons. (When I am turning right at that intersection, I often do use the bike path - though not when it is torn up by construction or has vehicles parked on it, as is often the case.)
Places where paths and roads meet are by far the most common accident sites between bicycles and cars. "I just didn't see you!" is the common - and usually accurate - plea as we are "appearing from nowhere" as you turn right, proceeding faster than pedestrians. The "right hook" where a car turning right strikes a vehicle going straight is the m ost common of these accidents.
Thank you for passing me with ample room. While I appreciate your right to express your opinion about my whereabouts, kindly consider that while you're honking and gesticulating, you might miss something else happening on the road.
Well-designed bicycle routes can be a benefit to everyone. Sadly, the paths in CHampaign do not fit this category.
I received your message...here's mine.

[mtkitchn]

Dear Husband,
Please be understanding when you get home from work today and find that I ate all of the tapioca pudding you bought and were hiding from me. It was so tasty I couldn't help myself.

[fixedgeargirl]

Hearing your stories makes me think, once again, that you just don't know what that woman riding the bike has gone through to be as strong and hopeful as she is, cruising down the road.

Ride on, ladies. Now we're free. L.

Thanks, Lise. That sums it up so nicely. Tailwinds to us all .

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear attorney for my XH,

I hope that you can see through his manic fixations and control freak tendencies and guide him to choices which are actually in the best interest of our son. I know, it's a gargantuan task, but you are a professional and, unlike him, you actually know how the laws read.

While you're at it, could you please explain to him that just because his mommy pays all his bills doesn't mean that she is a party in our custody suit? Are you shaking your head in wonderment every time she attends one of his meetings with you? I sure am.

Yours,

The Person Who Has Actually Been Actively Parenting My Son His Entire Life

While we're at it...

Dear Judge of the 53rd Circuit,

Please see through my XH's BS and render a fair judgement tomorrow. I really hope I get to hear you tell him that he doesn't get to choose how I parent my son or what I do in my own home.

Thanks,

Nervous Court First-Timer