Dear So and So

[Beth-Ro]

Dear Parents of the Kid with the bb gun,

Would you please consider revoking your 12-year-old son's bb gun priviledges? He doesn't seem to have the capability of grasping the "don't point that thing at people" concept. Being a "people" type, I don't particularly enjoy being shot at while trudging up the grunt hill past your single-wide trailer. To be quite blunt, your son is not very neighborly when he uses us for target practice.

Regards,

The cycling group that is now avoiding your street

PS. Were your son my youngun, he'd not be hanging out with the older boy who "encourages" his bad behaviour. He would also have more supervision, less weaponry, and better manners.

[DrBee]

Dear muscles on my shins,

Please stop hurting. I know that you like riding the bike, but we need to work on running, too. If you cooperate and feel better then I can walk around like a somewhat normal person again, instead of hobbling around. I'll give you some time in the jacuzzi tonight, ok? Will that help? Tomorrow we will try to run again. Hopefully you will cooperate.

[maillotpois]

Dear muscles on my shins,

Please stop hurting. I know that you like riding the bike, but we need to work on running, too. If you cooperate and feel better then I can walk around like a somewhat normal person again, instead of hobbling around. I'll give you some time in the jacuzzi tonight, ok? Will that help? Tomorrow we will try to run again. Hopefully you will cooperate.

Dear Fishdr:

Running stinks.

Love,

Reformed marathon runner

[DrBee]

Dear Reformed Marathon Runner,

I agree! But I'm driven to do a triathlon for some mysterious reason. Why did I wait to start running until the temps were in the 90's??? 5:15 am seems earlier when I'm running then when I'm on a bike.

Love,
waiting for the replacement tube to arrive

[Brandy]

Dear yummy foreign boys riding your road bikes from Vancouver, B.C. to the Mexican border,

Thanks for providing some eye candy for three stay at home moms while you were walking around your campsite shirtless. Oh, and you're welcome for the milk.

Love,

I may or may not have told my kids to go play on that tree in your campsite so I could walk over and talk to you

[maillotpois]

Dear yummy foreign boys riding your road bikes from Vancouver, B.C. to the Mexican border,

Thanks for providing some eye candy for three stay at home moms while you were walking around your campsite shirtless. Oh, and you're welcome for the milk.

Love,

I may or may not have told my kids to go play on that tree in your campsite so I could walk over and talk to you

Did you at least get pictures of "your kids playing in that tree..."?

[Brandy]

Did you at least get pictures of "your kids playing in that tree..."?

No I didn't want to scare them away.

Edited to add...I just had to double check my pics to see if any of them made it in to the background and nope. I'll have to check with the two other desperate mommies and see if yummy boys made it into their pics.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear New Apartment Complex Residents,

Why did you put that bizarre seahorse birdbath outside? It not only frightens my dogs, it is ugly. The complex looked nice, now your apartment is resembling the "My Flea" market outside Rockdale.

Curious about the birdbath,
Your Neighbor

[Brandy]

Dear childcare worker at Gold's Gym,

I understand that you had to put my child in time-out because he threw a block. You tell me that you put a movie on and he calmed down after said time-out. Why did you feel the need to force a conversation out of him? Why wasn't the time-out enough? You tell him that he can't play with any toys until he really sits down and talks to you about this and then you're surprised when he has a meltdown? Earth to you...not all strategies work on all kids. You can't force a thought provoking conversation out of most three year olds. Ugh.

Signed,
thanksforthe20minuteworkout

[carback]

Dear weather gods,
Here is your weather schedule for the week beginning Monday, June 12th:

Monday June 12 - you may choose to rain this day. Rain yourself dry.
Tuesday June 13- if you're still feeling a little soggy, go ahead. Rain. Surely you'll be fully wrung out by midnight.
Wednesday June 14- Sunny. And Hot. Like +25 (celsius)
Thursday - June 15 Sunny. And hot. Like +25 (celsius)
Friday June 16- Sunny. And hot. Like +25 (celsius)
Saturday June 17- preferably overcast, maybe some sun. Not a chance of rain. Even a cold front would be acceptable. Please don't go any hotter than 25 (celsius). Or cooler than 5 celsius. Oh, and if you could keep the mosquitos and wind at bay, that'd be greatly appreciated too.
Sunday - I don't care what you do because I and 799 other riders will be done our race. You can even snow if you feel you need to let off some steam.

Yours in racing the ride of my life,

Rider 596.

[Lise]

Dear Reformed Marathon Runner,

I agree! But I'm driven to do a triathlon for some mysterious reason. Why did I wait to start running until the temps were in the 90's??? 5:15 am seems earlier when I'm running then when I'm on a bike.

Love,
waiting for the replacement tube to arrive

It's a form of illness. I have it, too.

Favorite t-shirts from the Chicago Marathon last year:

Running Stinks!

and

But I thought you said 2.62!

L.

[Kimmyt]

Dear The Boy,

I know I told you that I didn't care if you went climbing this weekend (without me *pout*) while I stayed home for a family function. I guess I thought you would get the sarcasm when I said, "I don't care if you don't ever make time to meet my family". But I guess what I'm really saying is that a 5-year-old has more common sense than you.

Sincerely,

The GF

p.s. I can't help but feeling a bit vindicated that it's gray and rainy out and likely to be so for some of the weekend while you're leaving me alone yet again to face my family and explain that, no, you couldn't come and that, yes, you really do exist.

[Lise]

Dear City of Chicago,

Thanks for the water fountains. They really help on my runs. I'm going to pretend that you've used the $110 I've paid in parking tickets so far this year to do upkeep on the water fountains.

Delusionally yours,

LH