After trying the MTB women's saddle and then the butterfly
I finally went and got a B67.
I had already tried a more "sporty" looking brooks, maybe it was the b17, but after 35 miles, there was pain.
With the butterfly, bit and butt pains became the defining moments of the ride at about 12 miles in, so I knew I was NOT making progress.

I rode 16 miles on TUesday on my new (not broken in) brooks b67 and it was SO GREAT. there is still a little of the bits stuff from bumping so i am trying to adjust the seat so that this is minimized (and I'm going to slather on that stuff
that my husband uses to cut back on friction) and I wil be ready to go.
Bigger rides this weekend and next.
Will let you all know. What a relief!