Dear oh, you know who you are,

Thank you for our first (and last) date. While you are cute, funny, smart and sexy, you could really use a few first date pointers. Allow me to help you out:

1) Do not talk about your ex-girlfriends unless prompted. And even then.
2) If you disobey rule 1, please do not tell your date how sweet, nice and petite your ex-girlfriend is/was. We don't want to know.
3) If you invite your date on a bike ride, it'd be really nice to actually ride WITH her instead of zooming ahead and showing off your supposed bike prowess when really, she couldn't give a sh*t less that you can do a slalom course through lampposts, thereby dodging people and commanding a fair whack of disrepect
4) Ask her questions.
5) That's great that you love motorcycles. It's OK mentioning it once. It's even OK to mention it several times. But to ramble on a 15-minute dissertation about the intricacies of its ignition system isn't. Unless your audience seems geniunely interested. Your date's glazed over expression, coupled with an inability to ask any follow up questions is a good indication she doesn't care and is probably compiling her grocery list in her head.
6) If you've jumped the shark (lost interest), don't think you're doing anyone a favour by extending the date into a 2nd day. Really, your date would have been happier going for a ride with friends instead.
7) Ask more questions. About her.
8) and most importantly, be interesting and INTERESTED.

Good luck out there. I think you're going to need it.