Dear So and So

[Bad JuJu]

This sure is one emotional roller-coaster of a thread--I'm laughing and crying and laughing again and ..... but it's all good venting!

[bikerchick68]

Dear Potential Dates,

I'm looking for normal. By "normal" I mean emotionally healthy, has a job, loves mom but isn't looking to marry her, enjoys more than just sports on TV and perhaps even gets off the couch oh say, 3 times a week, doesn't think online porn is "cool", and realizes that belching and farting are NOT charming. Bonus points if you own a bike or like to garden or know how to dance.

Regards,

Women of the World

[Tater]

Dear Powers That Be;
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for stepping in earlier today. See, I was at work, popped into TE to read a couple threads at lunch and came across this one. Your timely intervention prevented me from braying laughter that for certain would have not just startled the people in the cubes next to me, but most likely the whole mapping department on the fourth floor! How I managed to have tears leak out the sides of my eyes, but not squeak, snort or guffaw as I read about Snap and her Corgi, and Nuthatch and her dog fur blankets, is beyond me.
Thanks again,
The Silent Snicker

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear Calendar,
Could you please happen to have an extra week this month? And next month? And so on? And maybe a few extra days per week and hours per day? I need to be out on my bike, and working at the computer, and running errands, and knitting a baby shower gift, and keep up with TE and and and ... oh, and sleep. I'm running out of time here!
Slowpoke

[Lise]

Dear Potential Dates,

I'm looking for normal. By "normal" I mean emotionally healthy, has a job, loves mom but isn't looking to marry her, enjoys more than just sports on TV and perhaps even gets off the couch oh say, 3 times a week, doesn't think online porn is "cool", and realizes that belching and farting are NOT charming. Bonus points if you own a bike or like to garden or know how to dance.

Regards,

Women of the World

And please know that I can be a strong, capable, feminist woman and like the door held for me and my chair pulled out.

[DrBee]

Dear Dove chocolate makers,

Please stop making your chocolate taste so good. And why do you have to package them so conveniently??? As I sit here typing this, there are 8 of your eggs sitting on the desk calling to me. Resissssttttt.... I know I can do it...... oh well .... yummmmmmm.

Guess I'll ride an extra mile tomorrow.

[SadieKate]

Dear fishdr,

Resistance is futile.

Signed,
Dove Chocolate Makers

[DrBee]

Oh crud.... I think I've been assimilated. They're still calling to me... 6 left...

[Lise]

Dear Dove Chocolate Makers,

We will assimilate you, too.

Signed, the Borg

[Duck on Wheels]

Oh darn! Now I hear the ice cream calling from my freezer. Must plug my ears! Where's my noise-blocking headset?

[DrBee]

It serves them right for making these things sooooo good.

[Nanci]

Dear Dillbird,

Thanks for not causing a single problem on our trip to Chattanooga. Thanks for not having a cooing attack in the hotel room. Thanks for being perfectly housebroken! Thanks for not bursting out of your travel arrangements in the truck. Thanks for waiting patiently for me to do a nine and a half hour ride before you could have dinner.

Love, Nanci

[Lise]

Dear Dillbird,

Thanks for not causing a single problem on our trip to Chattanooga. Thanks for not having a cooing attack in the hotel room. Thanks for being perfectly housebroken! Thanks for not bursting out of your travel arrangements in the truck. Thanks for waiting patiently for me to do a nine and a half hour ride before you could have dinner.

Love, Nanci

Awwwwwwwwwwwww..........

I love his WWII sleeping bag. What's the story behind that? L.

[Lise]

Dear Rollerbladers on the Chicago Lakefront Path, North Branch:

It has come to our attention that most of you haven't got the sense God gave a goose. Therefore we wish to inform you that the following behaviors are bad ideas while rollerblading on the lakefront path:

1. Talking on the phone
2. Walking your dog
3. Dancing
4. Taking up the entire side of the path
5. Listening to headphones, gesticulating wildly while singing (see above, dancing)

The civic-minded individual who brought these concerns to us has also suggested that we make the above behaviors illegal, and that she be allowed to use a tazer to enforce them. (No names, but she is very fond of dachshunds...we'll say no more...)

We suggested that she get off her high horse, remember that she is not the boss of us, and just avoid the darned path if it ticks her off so much.

Sincerely yours,

The Chicago City Council

[Nanci]

Dear Tennessee, Alabama and Georgia,

Thank you for being so beautiful and having such perfect weather on Saturday. Thank you for allowing me to ride all three difficult mountains with only a quarter mile of walking on a 22% grade. Thanks for not letting the squirrel I screamed at get hit by either bikes or cars. Thanks for the baby mule. Thanks for the gorgeous bridge over the Tennessee River, and the mountaintop view of it form Alabama!

Nanci