March Rides: In Like a Lion or a Lamb?

[north woods gal]

As the others have said, very sorry for your loss. You're absolutely right about it being an unpleasant but necessary part of life. Your bikes and that warm Florida weather will be there when you get back and do what you need to do.

As for me, 2" of new snow, this morning. May try skiing, but more likely will just fat bike in the stuff. My snow base under this fresh snow is too hit and miss for skiing, now. As of yesterday, a good percentage of my trails were down to the dirt. Pretty much the story all winter long for me. Very iffy for the skiing, but almost always a go and doable for the fat bike. If these mild winters are a product of global warming, as I suspect they are and the data suggests, looks like more fat biking and less skiing in winters to come for this gal.

[ny biker]

Condolences to you and your husband, Emily. +1 on trying to get in some walks during your trip; the activity could be helpful in clearing your minds and processing the emotions. I hope you have a safe trip.

[emily_in_nc]

Thanks, friends.

Walking is definitely in order. Interestingly, we're both doing quite well about this loss. He'd been declining for so long I think the grief was spread out over several years, so while the actual death came as a shock and left us both shaky for awhile, it isn't like a death by accident or other means that is sudden and unexpected. It was really more a matter of when, and he was so miserable, depressed, and unable to do anything (blind, nearly deaf, incontinent, and very frail), he was ready to go. And although we'll miss him dearly, he hadn't had the quality of life that everyone deserves of late, and we feel a sense of relief that there will be no more suffering.

My MIL has severe dementia, so if she grieves at all, it will be very short-lived, I suspect. That at least is a blessing.

[Crankin]

I was the same way when both of my parents died. Despite the fact my mom was not much older than I am now, she had known she had an illness for about 10 years. She had a liver transplant that just didn't go well afterwards. I had prepared myself mentally and actually rehearsed it in my head. I felt a little numb when it actually happened, but I was fine after about a day. The funeral and ensuing shiva was fine and I actually reconnected with some people I hadn't seen in 30+ years. I occasionally miss her and wish that she had seen my kids grow into good adults, but I just never have felt overwrought, like some people describe. My dad was almost 90 when he died. He was sick for about 4 months before this, and I saw him twice in that time, the last being about 3 weeks before he died. We cremated him, so there was no service or anything. My brother and I made this decision, and we both are good with it. His friends all came and visited with him while he was in hospice and said their goodbyes. I know I have a couple of friends here who think I am very cold, but I actually was close with my parents; I just left home at not quite 18, and except for 3 years when we were both in Phoenix, it was a long distance relationship since then. I did see them quite a bit when they moved to San Diego and i was still in AZ, but it was not the day to day thing.
The most grieving I did was when my first baby died after birth, with a genetic condition. But still, I felt I conducted myself well, talked about it, and moved on. My granddaughter here looks just like her, so I have reminders, but with the perspective of almost 36 years, I can smile and imagine what a great person she would have been.

[ny biker]

Years ago I worked with a woman whose brother and father had died a few years earlier. She often talked about the different ways that her other siblings reacted, especially in the immediate aftermath. I've noticed more than once since then how everyone has a different way of grieving, and in recent years have noticed how my own reactions and feeling differ when someone dies. For example I was very emotional after the death of a friend who I hadn't seen in years, not really emotional but very sad/depressed for months after losing another friend who lived near me. And I think it's not uncommon to feel a sense of relief when someone has been very ill for a long time.

This thread is drifting... guess I'll mention it was the sadness after my friend's death that prompted me to do the Tour de Cure last year. I had considered volunteering to be a ride marshal for them this year, but I guess it's good that I decided not to.

[north woods gal]

March is not going out like a lamb and, in fact, winter seems to be stubbornly hanging around. First day of spring and some snow showers with temps in the low 30s and gusty NW winds. Did it stop me from riding my fat bike on our half dirt and half ice/snow trails? Naw!

Actually, riding the trails when the temp is at freezing or below, this time of year, is a good thing. Much faster than riding though slush and mud. Also, 30s is plenty warm for this kind of bicycling because it is so physical. I warm up pretty quick, biking on the trails, but it seems like it takes much longer to warm up when biking out on the road, possibly because I am more exposed to the wind and also because my speed is greater.

[ny biker]

Some of my polar bear friends prefer to ride slower when it's cold because they say it's more comfortable with less of a wind chill. But I find that if I go too slowly, I don't get my blood circulating enough and end up cold for the entire ride. So perhaps you've found the happy medium -- slower riding on trails which requires more work than road riding and also has less wind exposure.

We are on a weather roller coaster here. Today has been warm but for the next few days we'll have the cold that is now in Michigan. I know a bunch of people who have been down at Bike Florida for a week or so, and from the photos I've seen they are quite happy with the weather there.