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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,099

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    Condolences, Emily.
    You might be able to get away with some walks. Just bring your hat, gloves, and a scarf.
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
    Specialized Oura

    2011 Guru Praemio
    Specialized Oura

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Indianapolis, Indiana
    Posts
    10,952
    Condolences indeed, sorry to read of your loss.
    I agree with Crankin, perhaps you will be able to do some walking. The weather is becoming wintry for the first time in quite some time, but it won't last.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    IL/FL
    Posts
    3,863
    Sorry for your loss, Emily. Hope you have a safe trip back up north.

    Electra Townie 7D

  4. #34
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    north woods of Wisconsin
    Posts
    630
    As the others have said, very sorry for your loss. You're absolutely right about it being an unpleasant but necessary part of life. Your bikes and that warm Florida weather will be there when you get back and do what you need to do.

    As for me, 2" of new snow, this morning. May try skiing, but more likely will just fat bike in the stuff. My snow base under this fresh snow is too hit and miss for skiing, now. As of yesterday, a good percentage of my trails were down to the dirt. Pretty much the story all winter long for me. Very iffy for the skiing, but almost always a go and doable for the fat bike. If these mild winters are a product of global warming, as I suspect they are and the data suggests, looks like more fat biking and less skiing in winters to come for this gal.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    northern Virginia
    Posts
    5,823
    Condolences to you and your husband, Emily. +1 on trying to get in some walks during your trip; the activity could be helpful in clearing your minds and processing the emotions. I hope you have a safe trip.

    - Gray Trek Madone 4.7 road bike, mystery crack in top tube repaired by Calfee, Bontrager Affinity RXL saddle
    - Red Trek 6000 mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle

    Gone but not forgotten:
    - Silver Trek 2000 road bike
    - Two awesome and worn out Juliana saddles

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Traveling Nomad
    Posts
    6,635
    Thanks, friends.

    Walking is definitely in order. Interestingly, we're both doing quite well about this loss. He'd been declining for so long I think the grief was spread out over several years, so while the actual death came as a shock and left us both shaky for awhile, it isn't like a death by accident or other means that is sudden and unexpected. It was really more a matter of when, and he was so miserable, depressed, and unable to do anything (blind, nearly deaf, incontinent, and very frail), he was ready to go. And although we'll miss him dearly, he hadn't had the quality of life that everyone deserves of late, and we feel a sense of relief that there will be no more suffering.

    My MIL has severe dementia, so if she grieves at all, it will be very short-lived, I suspect. That at least is a blessing.
    Emily

    2011 Jamis Dakar XC "Toto" - Selle Italia Ldy Gel Flow
    2007 Trek Pilot 5.0 WSD "Gloria" - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow
    2004 Bike Friday Petite Pocket Crusoe - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,099
    I was the same way when both of my parents died. Despite the fact my mom was not much older than I am now, she had known she had an illness for about 10 years. She had a liver transplant that just didn't go well afterwards. I had prepared myself mentally and actually rehearsed it in my head. I felt a little numb when it actually happened, but I was fine after about a day. The funeral and ensuing shiva was fine and I actually reconnected with some people I hadn't seen in 30+ years. I occasionally miss her and wish that she had seen my kids grow into good adults, but I just never have felt overwrought, like some people describe. My dad was almost 90 when he died. He was sick for about 4 months before this, and I saw him twice in that time, the last being about 3 weeks before he died. We cremated him, so there was no service or anything. My brother and I made this decision, and we both are good with it. His friends all came and visited with him while he was in hospice and said their goodbyes. I know I have a couple of friends here who think I am very cold, but I actually was close with my parents; I just left home at not quite 18, and except for 3 years when we were both in Phoenix, it was a long distance relationship since then. I did see them quite a bit when they moved to San Diego and i was still in AZ, but it was not the day to day thing.
    The most grieving I did was when my first baby died after birth, with a genetic condition. But still, I felt I conducted myself well, talked about it, and moved on. My granddaughter here looks just like her, so I have reminders, but with the perspective of almost 36 years, I can smile and imagine what a great person she would have been.
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
    Specialized Oura

    2011 Guru Praemio
    Specialized Oura

  8. #38
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    northern Virginia
    Posts
    5,823
    Years ago I worked with a woman whose brother and father had died a few years earlier. She often talked about the different ways that her other siblings reacted, especially in the immediate aftermath. I've noticed more than once since then how everyone has a different way of grieving, and in recent years have noticed how my own reactions and feeling differ when someone dies. For example I was very emotional after the death of a friend who I hadn't seen in years, not really emotional but very sad/depressed for months after losing another friend who lived near me. And I think it's not uncommon to feel a sense of relief when someone has been very ill for a long time.

    This thread is drifting... guess I'll mention it was the sadness after my friend's death that prompted me to do the Tour de Cure last year. I had considered volunteering to be a ride marshal for them this year, but I guess it's good that I decided not to.

    - Gray Trek Madone 4.7 road bike, mystery crack in top tube repaired by Calfee, Bontrager Affinity RXL saddle
    - Red Trek 6000 mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle

    Gone but not forgotten:
    - Silver Trek 2000 road bike
    - Two awesome and worn out Juliana saddles

  9. #39
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    north woods of Wisconsin
    Posts
    630
    March is not going out like a lamb and, in fact, winter seems to be stubbornly hanging around. First day of spring and some snow showers with temps in the low 30s and gusty NW winds. Did it stop me from riding my fat bike on our half dirt and half ice/snow trails? Naw!

    Actually, riding the trails when the temp is at freezing or below, this time of year, is a good thing. Much faster than riding though slush and mud. Also, 30s is plenty warm for this kind of bicycling because it is so physical. I warm up pretty quick, biking on the trails, but it seems like it takes much longer to warm up when biking out on the road, possibly because I am more exposed to the wind and also because my speed is greater.
    Last edited by north woods gal; 03-21-2017 at 12:29 PM.

  10. #40
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    northern Virginia
    Posts
    5,823
    Some of my polar bear friends prefer to ride slower when it's cold because they say it's more comfortable with less of a wind chill. But I find that if I go too slowly, I don't get my blood circulating enough and end up cold for the entire ride. So perhaps you've found the happy medium -- slower riding on trails which requires more work than road riding and also has less wind exposure.

    We are on a weather roller coaster here. Today has been warm but for the next few days we'll have the cold that is now in Michigan. I know a bunch of people who have been down at Bike Florida for a week or so, and from the photos I've seen they are quite happy with the weather there.

    - Gray Trek Madone 4.7 road bike, mystery crack in top tube repaired by Calfee, Bontrager Affinity RXL saddle
    - Red Trek 6000 mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle

    Gone but not forgotten:
    - Silver Trek 2000 road bike
    - Two awesome and worn out Juliana saddles

  11. #41
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    north woods of Wisconsin
    Posts
    630
    Still riding, almost every day, even though the weather has been VERY gloomy. Have had four straight days of temps in the 30s to almost 40, with rain, drizzle, freezing rain and some snow. Right about now I would pay big bucks for a little sunshine.

    As to where I can ride, it's been good news and bad news. Our paved local roads are now mostly clean pavement with a little slush and ice, here and there. Could actually ride one of the road bikes, safely, being careful to avoid all the sand still on the road (fortunately, we treat our rural roads with sand in the winter, not salt) and the seasonal outbreak of potholes, but am riding the Pugsley, which is immune to those hazards and, besides, just enjoy the Pugs, anyway. What a pal that bike has been for me! That's the good news.

    The bad news is that the MTB trails in the area are mucho treacherous. What was packed snow has gone through the thaw and freeze cycle enough to convert to super slick ice. Can't even walk on the stuff. Could actually ride on the stuff with the studded fat bike tires, but even those can slip on turns and hills (ask me how I know). The one good thing I'm seeing is that more and more of the trails are now down to dirt and completely free of snow and ice. All in all, as much as I love trail work with the fat bike, I'm going to play it safe and stay with road work, for now. No need to risk breaking my neck. Just need to be patient. Winter won't last forever.

    Did 15 miles on the road with the Pugs, today, despite the gloom. Someone please send some sunshine my way before I go nuts.
    Last edited by north woods gal; 03-24-2017 at 04:14 PM.

  12. #42
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Traveling Nomad
    Posts
    6,635
    Wish I could send some sunshine to you, Northwoods!

    We got back from Ohio late yesterday. It was very chilly there. The day of my FIL's funeral, the high temp was in the low 30s with windchill far below that, but bright sunshine. The following morning, we woke up to 18F. After spending the entire winter in Florida, that was tough! But we got in the car and started heading south, and by the time we got to Columbia, SC, it was 64! Yesterday we drove from Columbia to Orlando and ended up at 77 when we got "home" to the campground. Low humidity too, so it felt so nice!

    Today we had too much to do to ride, plus we hate riding on Saturday because the bike path is a zoo, so we did chores, and we will ride tomorrow. Weather is perfect now but supposed to get gradually warmer as the week wears on, and I suspect humidity will come back too. They're predicting 90F by Thurs., and I am not ready for that! Wish it could stay in the 70s. Ah well, it is what it is, and at least I don't have to worry about slush, snow, or ice like some of you. And I am much happier here than in Ohio!
    Emily

    2011 Jamis Dakar XC "Toto" - Selle Italia Ldy Gel Flow
    2007 Trek Pilot 5.0 WSD "Gloria" - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow
    2004 Bike Friday Petite Pocket Crusoe - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow

  13. #43
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    IL/FL
    Posts
    3,863
    Glad you're home safe and sound, Emily. I'm so glad this will be our last winter in Illinois, the cold makes me ache and I limp so much more here. Might not like a lot of things about Florida, but if I can keep my head in a positive place, my carcass will be happier.

    Electra Townie 7D

  14. #44
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    north woods of Wisconsin
    Posts
    630
    Thanks, Emily. It's the sunshine I miss the most with our north woods winters. Still no break in the gloom. Raining, today, still in the 30s. Crazy me will ride, anyway.

    90 degrees, already, down there! Can't imagine that. Some summers, up here, we never break 90 degrees.

    Pax, I may sound like some kind of cold freak, but I'm really not. I do understand and commiserate about the cold. It does make me uncomfortable unless I attack it on a daily basis with heavy aerobic activities like skiing and my fat biking. if I couldn't do those things, I'd have a hard time surviving, up here. Best wishes to you on finding a warmer place.

  15. #45
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    IL/FL
    Posts
    3,863
    NWG - I'd have chosen the UP in a heartbeat when I was younger and more fit. To this day I am hot all the time, I mean like existing in a permanent hot flash hot. But after 10 surgeries, my joints are just done with this game, I barely go outside the entire winter, and when I do I resemble quasimodo... so, for me, I'll weather the heat and humidity but do it upright, by golly!

    Electra Townie 7D

 

 

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