Thread Drift

**Crankin** · 11-08-2016, 01:11 PM

Helene, you sound like you have good plans, but it must be hard to be just waiting those "2 more years" to get there. I get it when you say you are sick of the commute, though. I've structured my life to be totally unstressful in that regard; I work 2 miles from my house! Except for my first therapy job, where I drove to client's homes for 2.5 years, I haven't driven more than 6 miles to work since 1999. The job that DH just took involves some traffic, but it's not that far, about 18 miles. He is hoping after he settles in, he will work flexible hours. In his last job he went in early (6 AM) and left by 4 when I was teaching, and he continued to do that even after I switched to a different schedule.
I'm still working because it's a no-stress situation. If I had changed careers even 5 years earlier, I would have started my own practice. Clearly, it would have been way more financially lucrative. But, I didn't want the work of running a business, or the stress of it all. I know i am lucky, because DH's salary allowed me to have this choice. Indeed, he stuck it out there longer than he should have because of the money. But, it paid off. He was able to take a job he really wanted, without regard to the salary, just like I did, because of the fact we are just about at the retirement savings we targeted, we sold our house and moved to a smaller place, and we essentially have no costs, except utilities, clothing, food, and having fun!

**ny biker** · 11-08-2016, 01:36 PM

I feel like I did something wrong. I've been putting money into a 401k for decades. Not the maximum amount, because I can't afford that without severely cutting back on day-to-day expenses, but a decent amount. I have a good job that pays well. But I seriously don't think I'll ever have enough set aside to be retired full time. Maybe if I bought a home earlier I would have equity from that. But as things stand I will be paying off a a mortgage for a long time. And then I suppose I will move into some sort of retirement community if I can afford it.

Given my parents' age, it's likely that they'll need more help from me and my siblings while I'm still working full-time. I have one sister who lives near them and I am next closest at 300 miles away. The others are on the other side of the country; they are very generous with financial help. One good thing about my current job (if it lasts) is that I could work remotely from my parents' house if I needed to spend more time there to help take care of them.

I agree that being a caretaker is definitely not easy. I know people who have cared for their parents for years, including setting up an apartment for them within their own homes. I'm always amazed at the emotional strength that they show.

**Crankin** · 11-08-2016, 03:47 PM

I don't think you've done anything wrong, NY. You do a lot of things most never get to do. We were lucky in selling our house in Boxborough at the height of the boom. Of course, we never should have, as our house we just sold this year was 11 years of major repairs and remodeling, but it was cool and we liked it. But, if we had not impusively bought it, our other home would have been paid off long ago. I have never connected with anyone in Concord, but given the fact I only moved 9 miles (now about 6 miles, from the condo), it's all the same. I am glad my kids went to school where they did and not in Concord. Despite taking a beating on our house sale this year, we have a bit of a profit that will help us pay off the condo in a year or so. We put down almost 50%, it was the cheapest listed home in Concord except for "tear downs," and we were able to do this because DH got huge bonuses at the job he left. It was the first time we didn't have to use one of these bonuses for a home repair! We made some bad financial choices at the beginning of our marriage (well after we had kids). We took a major beating moving here from AZ, and we pretty much had to pay to get rid of our very lovely home in Tempe. It was the right choice, but it took years to get back to the type of lifestyle we had and live in the kind of town where our kids would get a good education and not be the "weird ones." It was actually harder for me than them, when we first moved here, in a place that was a perfect mismatch. There were a few years where I was teaching high school, teaching 3-7 aerobics classes a week, and teaching Hebrew School when my kids were young. We needed the money to provide them the same kind of upbringing I had... I was young, in my early 30s, but it took its toll on my health. All of my friends were stay at home moms who had been married awhile before they had kids or had family help. It was hard. I feel proud that my salary when I was teaching was enough to pay for my older son's college and his car. We wanted them to to have a clean start and no loans. Of course, he went to a state school, so that helped! My younger son felt strongly he wanted to do it on his own and that was part of his motivation for joining the military, which was weird for a kid coming from a Boston suburb. He did it himself and ended up with a full scholarship at a school that is extremely selective and has a commitment to veterans. We could not have afforded it!
I guess what I am trying to say, is that sometimes you never know what will happen. We just decided that having experiences was more important than the big house and other stuff, which was what allowed us to do all of this downsizing.

**Helene2013** · 11-09-2016, 04:22 AM

Crankin,
No choice to tough it up until retirement. My job pays very well. I'm not that far from work but Montreal is a mega road repair road construction thing. And I live too far to cycle there due to bike paths not well planned for the area I live and where I work. And we are not allowed on main bridges. If I opted to change job and get closer to home (no bridge to cross), that means a drop of over 10,000-15,000$ a year. That is a lot. I think the worst is not the commute but being awake at 4:15am because hubby has no choice due to his job. They don't have flex schedule like I do. My job itself is ok. Lots of pressure lately due to job cuts - so those who stay end up doing more, for same pay. But we are very well taken care of and part of the top 100 employers. So "suffering" for the next 2-4 years could be a whole lot worst.

If I could downsize right now I would. But with 3 very active dogs, 2 are getting pretty old but have energy for 10, I need to keep my yard. I just could not think to move in a condo, nor a town house with little yard. By the time we retire, I will only have one (sad sad) probably. I had 6 pets (3 dogs and 3 cats). A cat was euthanized 3 weeks ago due to old age and no longer able to walk (liver failure). So I'm down to 5. Can't see myself in a tiny space for now. Things will be very different down the road. I want to get there quickly, but not so because that means some of my pets will have crossed the rainbow bridge due to age.

It will be a rough start to retirement for sure.

Retiring younger than the norm I may decide also to work at my vet clinic during the summer months. That is something I would love to do. I have a good background in that area as well (studied 3 years in the dog world to understand behaviors, grooming, obedience, infectious diseases, parasites, name it). So I would a good helper there! Not just in the euthanized part of the job. Or I could even mow grass or work at the front desk a day or 2 a week if I stayed at a campground for the summer (in Canada). That would help me keep busy, mentally and physically. We'll see when we get there. But definitively no getting up early anymore. haha

Emily,
I belong to a french RV forum and a few go to Mexico every winter for the past xx years. They say the lifestyle is way different "poorer" than what you find in sunshine states but also much cheaper. It all depends at one is looking for as for services. And I don't speak Spanish either (yet anyway...could become useful to take classes at retirement though - a goal what! hihi). I have enough of my French and trying to improve my English.

but who knows what the future is for us. We did go to Cancun so many years ago and it was not a resort. We had the "chance" to see the real lives of Mexicans...not the all-glittery one of resorts. So not the same! I don't know if I'd love Mexico enough and feel safe. Maybe if I stayed a winter with someone who has been going there for ages it would help me. Some things are cheaper but I read that insuring a motorhome is expensive and we need to use the Mexican insurance. I have not really read on that.

NY,
I do put money into RRSPs, etc. Hubby has a city pension plan which is much better than what I have. My company puts a max of 7% into retirement funds (they equals what I put in). Of course that means I have to put a whole lot more if I want to retire before 65 as I will depend on my own reserve until 65 when (and if as now we never know with things changing at rapid pace) I should be allowed a pension from gov't. But interest and compound alone are not enough. It is never like the "good old days" where money was maximized quickly when invested. Not the case for so many years.

Well...gotta get back to work if I want to keep paying my toys and mortgage.

**Crankin** · 11-09-2016, 04:58 AM

You are right, Helene, in that you will be young when you retire and it is not that long. For me, it is such a fine line between working too much and being bored. I recently started doing a group for victims of domestic violence. The only way I could fit it into my schedule was by doing it on Friday morning. Even though it's only an hour and a half, and I love it, I feel like it is a bit much, when I've been used to having Thursday be my last day of the week. I did let my boss know up front, that it will not be running in the summer. Obviously, it's not a big deal, but it worries me that I still have the urge to "do" a lot, and when I slow down, I get bored. My husband says I just need to relax, but I feel like I always need to have plans, either social or athletic.

**ny biker** · 11-09-2016, 05:57 AM