making drastic changes in life

[Helene2013]

I love the Whites, but I hate NH, if you understand what I mean. The "Live Free or Die" mentality is real, and plays itself out in the lack of services and the constant refrain of "no new taxes." NH still does not have mandatory kindergarten. I always caution people to not overlook the political climate and culture of a place, because no amount of good weather or physical beauty can make up for that


Fortunately we have traveled enough to know better than to make that mistake. I LOVE some spots up in the Adirondacks, but I could not live there due to lack of services. We currently live in a resort area, so I do not want to do that again either. Speaking of which, summer technically starts this weekend, here comes the bumper to bumper traffic!

ahhhh but you'll have quite a few less Canadians in the Mountains due to the high exchange rates in our $$$. So less traffic for you. hihi

We LOVE Vermont, NH and Maine and Mass... always vacation there. Well a lot.

[Crankin]

I also love Vermont and Maine. Mostly Vermont. As a kid, all we did was go to the Cape every summer and my DH was kind of flabbergasted I had never been to VT, only been to NH because my dad owned a factory over the border from MA, and Maine once or twice because my dad's parents used to vacation in Ogunquit. I had never been to the Berkshires, either. My family stayed in place, until we moved to FL, then AZ. My parents ended up in San Diego, so they did travel somewhat within that state. They didn't have the $ to travel extensively then, but they could have when I was a kid. It just wasn't "done."
RnR, I also live in a tourist place. It's just an outer suburb,, semi-rural in spots, but because of the historical stuff that happened here, we get tons of tourists, from all over the world, from March-December. It was annoying before I moved to the condo, as I had to drive through the town center, near all of the historical sites, to go to work. Now that I live in West Concord, no tourists come here. It's too artsy and down to earth. We do get a few from the city coming to the village center (hey, I live in a town with 2 "downtowns"), but it's not the same as giant buses with tourists taking pictures of me on my bike! This is the thing that might stop me from buying a second home in Great Barrington. Although it feels like a Massachusetts town, with real people, there are tons of New Yorkers (apologies to those of you from NY) who have second homes there, or have moved there. It is not something I deal well with, probably ingrained from myf family, and I try to be non-judgmental. It's not like Stockbridge or Lenox, which may as well not be in MA. Time will tell...

[emily_in_nc]

Fascinating thread, and I've enjoyed reading all your stories.

I've made so many "drastic" changes in life over the past few decades that sometimes I think I've become addicted to change and moving. I'm not sure I could live a life where everything stayed the same for any great length of time any more. I get too fidgety and itchy. I guess it's a good thing we're nomadic!

DH in particular has no desire to settle down. I'm sure at some point, health issues or who knows what will drive us to settle down somewhere, but even though sometimes I long to have a base, be a part of a community again, and put down "roots", whenever I begin to do that anywhere, I balk. I am wondering if there's some commitment-phobia in this case, even though it's not to a person (DH and I have been married 31 years), but to a place?

Interesting thoughts....

[rebeccaC]

When I left France for a year of schooling in Quebec my mother and I had a good conversation about the importance of looking at change as an internal journey/discovery as much as an external one. I’ve always remembered that long conversation when I’ve moved to a new area. Granted that has only been the Quebec move, to Paris for schooling after Quebec, to the U.S. for my University years, back to Paris for some of my post grad work and then to Ca. for my present job. From that though I’ve learned I can adapt easier to a new area by being in the present and taking lots of positive reflection time to think through how I am connecting to the people and environment around me. I’ve found taking time to be by myself, mindfulness meditation, journaling, yoga and solo bike rides etc. helps in feeling ‘at home’ especially in the beginning. I also use art objects made by me, made by friends, given to me by family and bought on traveling trips and the areas I’ve lived in to bring a feeling of continuance to a new place. In moving here my life has always been quite busy with my work, my volunteering, my photography passion, my exercise and friends new and old so that adjusting to Ca. was made easier through just that....and for me the social/political atmosphere is a nice bonus!

Personally I love the area I’m in now with the weather being usually 70 +/- 15 degrees year round….and all the completely different types of landscapes, diverse urban, ocean beach/coastlines, mediterranean ecosystem mountains and rural farming plains all within easy bicycling range. Plus desert solitude, coastal and mountain forests and the snow covered san gabriel/sierra nevada mountains all within a few hours of travel by car…..plus plus the richness of the diverse culture and the ethnic groups of a large urban area.

Through being both a French and American citizen and my trip travels I also know enough about different areas of the U.S. and the E.U. that with my education and work ethic I would be able to choose a new place to work and live with a reasonable expectation of enjoying the new area…especially with the early advice of my mother to be centered while looking at and experiencing the inner and outer journey of moving to a new home.

Now….a place like Oklahoma etc. could be a challenge for me but there is also being creative and for me that would be enjoying documenting even things I don’t appreciate through camera lenses and helping me to see them in a way that leads beyond my preconceptions about the world, its inhabitants, and myself.…..so I could even see some advantages of living even some place I didn’t like. I'm also thinking Emily_in_nc could to be on to something with the nomadic life

What is there about the movement and constant change of scenery and vistas while riding that so soothes the mind?

That’s called neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine etc. ...and yes the environment too for sure!!!!
I also see one of the neuroscience benefits of my bicycling as helping to increase my stress resistance….

[salsabike]

rebeccaC, you are one of the most intelligently positive people I've ever "met". I really value it. Thanks.

[rebeccaC]

rebeccaC, you are one of the most intelligently positive people I've ever "met". I really value it. Thanks.

as are you and i value that!!!!!

[Crankin]

I've lived 2 places that I was not a good fit with. Why do that to yourself, when you have a choice? Obviously, I had no choice at age 15, moving to Miami, but I did choose to stay in AZ, after I caught up with my parents, after they moved there. It was fine for a long time, it was really having kids that made me question what kind of environment I wanted to bring them up in, what I wanted them exposed to (cities, not Sunbelt developments, woods, ocean, seasons, valuing education). There are other places I know I would be OK living in, but I for one, would never deliberately put myself in a Texas, Oklahoma, or a number of other places. I've felt the sting of anti-Semitism enough in the south and even in Phx in the 70s and 80s, to know that I'd rather not feel that "different" from most of the people around me. If I had to move to a place that was not a good fit because of economics, of course, I would try to make the best of it, and I know how to get connected to a community, but I wouldn't like it. My world in Tempe was very small, staying within the confines of friends from the JCC and work. I always felt like I was swimming against the tide in terms of my values. The district where I taught had a very large percentage of students and faculty from a very conservative religion. It may sound silly, but sometimes, this was difficult, as it wasn't like this was something that was only at home for the kids. It was kind of in your face. Myself and another colleague once wrote a letter to the director of special ed and the superintendent, outlining why it was not OK to say a prayer, in Jesus' name, at the special ed awards night. Or why my 5 year old son had to explain to the cashier at the grocery store why he didn't celebrate Christmas. So, things like this, while small and insignificant to some, add up. Micro aggressions. I totally understand how this affects people. It just got on my nerves.