Why do you voice your thoughts/opinions?

[Crankin]

This was seriously a reason why I moved back to MA, from AZ. Now, that is not to say that there were not and are not today, others with opinions and beliefs similar to mine. But, in 1990 we saw the writing on the wall. Compared to the early 70s, when my parents moved to AZ, the politics totally shifted. I pretty much stayed within the confines of my little group of friends, connected to the JCC, a few colleagues, and people i knew from the university. And, I lived in a liberal, university city. But... I taught in the neighboring town, and really, got sick of of the prissy attitudes of a lot of the staff and some students, who mostly were members of a particular religion that is ultra conservative, mysonigistic, and racist. One of the male staff members told me that my husband should not *allow* me to watch cable TV . I did not like it when my 5 year old had to go on a tangent to explain to a grocery clerk why he didn't celebrate Christmas. I know people have different opinions, I just want to be around people who don't constantly try to tear down my beliefs. I am not going to try and change others. I stopped speaking to close members of my family (aunt and cousins) because of this. They may be the only Jewish conservatives in Massachusetts, but it ruined every holiday and family occasion. I don't have to justify myself to anyone...
I just can't get past the part of me that marched on the Boston Common in 1968 and got thrown out of high school when I moved to Florida in 1969 and wore a black arm band to protest.

[Pax]

This was seriously a reason why I moved back to MA, from AZ. Now, that is not to say that there were not and are not today, others with opinions and beliefs similar to mine. But, in 1990 we saw the writing on the wall. Compared to the early 70s, when my parents moved to AZ, the politics totally shifted. I pretty much stayed within the confines of my little group of friends, connected to the JCC, a few colleagues, and people i knew from the university. And, I lived in a liberal, university city. But... I taught in the neighboring town, and really, got sick of of the prissy attitudes of a lot of the staff and some students, who mostly were members of a particular religion that is ultra conservative, mysonigistic, and racist. One of the male staff members told me that my husband should not *allow* me to watch cable TV . I did not like it when my 5 year old had to go on a tangent to explain to a grocery clerk why he didn't celebrate Christmas. I know people have different opinions, I just want to be around people who don't constantly try to tear down my beliefs. I am not going to try and change others. I stopped speaking to close members of my family (aunt and cousins) because of this. They may be the only Jewish conservatives in Massachusetts, but it ruined every holiday and family occasion. I don't have to justify myself to anyone...
I just can't get past the part of me that marched on the Boston Common in 1968 and got thrown out of high school when I moved to Florida in 1969 and wore a black arm band to protest.

I totally get this. It's very wearing to constantly be placed in a defensive position, especially when we aren't really interested in having the conversation in the first place.

My long time friends like to joke that my tombstone will read "All she ever asked was to be left alone", not sure why that's so hard for some people, just leave me alone and I'll return the favor.

[Crankin]

I feel for you, Pax. This is why cost of living/employment isn't the only thing to consider when moving... the culture where you live is as important, unless you desire no human connection!
I feel like this is the stuff that really can wear you down. It's a stressor, as much as financial stress or illness, in my book.

Murienn, when I was in Beaufort for DS's boot camp graduation, I went into the Democratic party headquarters. This was in 2004, during the campaign between Kerry and Bush. I was feeling very out of sorts/agitated just being in a very conservative environment, and I was not looking forward to being on the base (I got over that part, a long time ago, since my son is pretty much his same, weird self). The woman in there was wonderful, and I talked with her for like 30 minutes. I wanted a Kerry button to wear on myself at the graduation, in part to make my views known. They didn't have any, so she gave me her own button, which I wore on my purse for the whole week. Have you ever thought about connecting with that group?

[Pax]

It's about 5 hours south of me, I think.

You are at least close to St. Augustine. That's a beautiful town. Ever been there?

We've been there several times, it's lovely!

Like you I lean farther left than the party, I'm interested in primarily LGBT issues and while there is some action on that here, it's very subtle. Coming from a major university town I'm used to huge amounts of activity on the issue, and also tremendous diversity. Here, I actually find myself driving through what locals refer to as "the bad part of town" just so I can even momentarily connect with people of another race.

I'm still job hunting, since 55 is too young to be done unless you're well off, my hope is I'll find something with a decent salary so maybe we can keep this place for the winters and escape to civilization for another part of the year.

[Crankin]

Murienn, I don't understand why that woman was snarky about you coming to the Thanksgiving Potluck. Because it's a holiday, and people might have brought good food, like you did? Oy. She sounds in need of my services... this is why I think I am actually more moderate in my beliefs about a lot of things. How can someone bash their own mother for thinking milk is important? A lot of people, not even just older people, think like that. My reasons for drifting toward vegetarianism are strictly for health. I understand the political part of it, but unlike you, I don't know a lot about farming. There is a strong small farming community around here, and while I support many of the local farms during their seasons, some of the other shoppers are so strident when I go to shop, it bothers me. We also have a well known natural foods/health store in West Concord. There are several products I buy there, because it's the only place I can find them, but I go to the farms for produce. The organic produce at this store is so expensive, I just won't buy it. I don't bad mouth the place at all, the owner is very active in the community, and my son (the ex-Marine) worked there in HS, and they were extremely nice to him.
I remember the drive from Beaufort to Savannah as boring and kind of long. I have never been to Charleston. I hated HHI/Bluffton immensely, although I even went back the year after the boot camp graduation, as we bid on a vacation there and we won a week stay at a condo in the ritzy gated community at the end of the island. This is where we almost got arrested riding our road bikes on the road!

[ny biker]

If we were talking opinions on movies, restaurants, which season of the year is the best, whether I need a new bike and if so what kind... well those are opinions I share for the sake of sharing useful information or just making conversation. But from reading this thread so far, we're not talking about those kinds of opinions.

I generally refrain from discussing my opinions on hot topics. In part this is because I don't expect to change the minds of anyone who disagrees with me -- I'm not very good at being persuasive and frankly I don't think most people are open to changing their opinions. I think most of the people I know who do discuss politics, religion, etc are either assuming I agree with them or hoping I agree with them/validate them. I am also non-confrontational -- I just don't like to argue with people.

[Crankin]

I agree, there is a difference between liberal and Democratic (they don't describe the same thing), but I just thought you might meet even one like-minded person. Given the range of people I met in your area, the woman I met in that office left an indelible memory. She told me SC was turning into a purple state!

[shootingstar]

I totally get this. It's very wearing to constantly be placed in a defensive position, especially when we aren't really interested in having the conversation in the first place.

My long time friends like to joke that my tombstone will read "All she ever asked was to be left alone", not sure why that's so hard for some people, just leave me alone and I'll return the favor.

I think some of us could say the same about some workplaces where we've been. I have. It's not even having the conversation at all. People just having certain attitudes and expressing it in multiple subtle ways and behaviour as well.

Sometimes it's not just validation we might want to hear, but hear more real, different experiences from the other side. Learn something. I'm open to that as a person who does have some strong views and hope the other person would as well.

For enjoying retirement, I most definitely would not want to live in a predominantly conservative area where basic my core values and my life experiences were undermined/ignored often. I feel for you, Pax. Where I live, is Canada's oil prairie rangeland heartland here in Alberta. It's taken long time locals to change... it's amazing though, what a difference just having a highly articulate mayor, Canadian-born (East Indian and Muslim), can change the face of a city by reminding people to be tolerant and open...Canada is taking in 10,000 Syrian refugees. It disappoints me, the attitudes of some Americans that we read in the press. Very extreme. (Trump is not helping and fuelling a lot of ignorance.)

I also tend to judge "community" in diversity --not just the people, but how the city/an area expresses creative, forward thinking that embraces diversity : arts, regular events, the nature of local non-profit organizations and the local press. And who is in local power --is it homogenous or is there some power sharing in decision-making how public funds are spent, etc. Sometimes if a town/city has 1-2 local universities /colleges with strong programs that draw students internationally, can be a help. For myself, it's a source of learning by taking a course or 2. Online learning does have it's limits, at times.

I probably would get bored living in small, homogenous very small towns...after awhile. I don't need constant external stimulation but my personal inspiration is drawn from interacting with a broad range of people, what they do also. So more local diversity helps me grow too.