Quote Originally Posted by Helene2013 View Post
I’ve been saying forever: you are the master of your own destiny. If you’re unhappy about something, DO something and stop whining.
Just wanted to comment on this -- sometimes we have the ability to make changes to address the parts of our lives that make us unhappy. But it's not always that easy -- there can be complex reasons why you can't just DO something and stop whining.

About 15 years ago I had a job that sucked all the life out of me. I was working 7 am to midnight every day for a woman who was insane. She would routinely yell at people until they ran out of the room crying. The client was impossible to please, I was in way over my head and had no one to help me. If I asked someone for help, the crazy b*tch yelled at me, told me if I didn't know the answer to a client's question I should just make something up. I was losing weight, unable to eat more than half a meal a day. And I was exhausted. One day I was walking down the street and a complete stranger who was passing me asked why I looked so miserable. But when I tried to update my resume and look for a new job, I was too exhausted and stressed out to think straight. And I was afraid to just quit, because unemployment didn't seem like a good choice.

As it turned out, the lunatic who ran the company reorganized and eliminated my position. When she told me, she clearly expected me to be devastated (since in her deranged mind there was no finer place to work). Instead I smiled and asked if she wanted me to leave immediately or stay long enough to transition my work to someone else. After my last day on the job, I hopped a plane for a weekend away with friends, and I still remember feeling like a thick fog suddenly lifted from around my brain, and I could think again.

(And then the stress finally overwhelmed my system, and I was sick with a bad cold, bronchitis, pink eye, you name it, for about six weeks, too weak to walk, nearly fainted while trying to do Christmas shopping.)

And that was just a job. Imagine feeling trapped in a hopeless family situation, where you can't just quit and find something else, where you might be living in fear, for yourself or for others if you leave. You might want to leave but don't know where to go or how to support yourself or how to find someone to help you.

If you have a happy life with the ability to solve problems by making a few changes, you are actually quite lucky.