Saying nothing, not doing much is abit difficult

[OakLeaf]

Thank you, Pam and Blueberry.

I have no reason to think that Shootingstar is anything less than polite in her actual encounters with all these people, but the level of condescension that gets expressed in these threads has to be apparent to them. There's a world of difference between recognizing that one has little in common with someone, even someone who used to be a close friend, vs actively pursuing a relationship from a position of judgment.

[salsabike]

Lovely, Muirenn. Thanks.

[shootingstar]

How much emotional energy to do you spend on the things out of your control? It sure seems like a lot from what I read here.

Yea, you're right, lruan. On this thread, it's not worth my time any more.

[lph]

Not to flog a dead horse, but there is a general point I'd like to make. The one thing that would have changed the whole situation was if the woman in question had expressed a desire herself to lose weight or eat more healthily. But assuming that someone wants to be more like you in some way when they haven't actually said so does easily come over as patronizing.

On the other hand, I think many of us are guilty of this. We're only human, and the more convinced we are that a certain behavior or a certain habit is not just a good thing, but practically life-changing, the more likely we are to prescribe it whether someone asks or not. And the more likely we are of being thought of as annoying zealots. Biking, healthy eating, crossfit, religion, political views - we all have these people in our Facebook feeds. We just don't notice them as much when they're talking about things we agree on.

[Crankin]

You know, I was being pretty honest in my replies; maybe they were a bit off topic, but my general feeling is that if any human being thinks s/he is not judgmental, s/he is fooling herself. The main thing for me is to acknowledge it, and move on. I never become zealous about cycling (or anything else), unless I am talking to others who share my passion, like everyone here! I've been told point blank to my face that my level of activity makes people feel bad about themselves, by former colleagues. It was said in a joking way, but I know they meant it. Again, it's not like I was pushing my lifestyle, more like it was discussed when asked what i did over the weekend. And believe me, there were many moments when I *wanted* to say something about others constant patter about their children or other things that really got on my nerves. Instead, I smiled and tried to be a good listener. I am sure others here have experienced this. I don't prescribe anything to my friends, unless they ask. Again, it's just that I feel like as I age, it's harder and harder to find people with like minds.

[emily_in_nc]

YI've been told point blank to my face that my level of activity makes people feel bad about themselves, by former colleagues.
...
Again, it's just that I feel like as I age, it's harder and harder to find people with like minds.

Yes and Yes! I couldn't agree more...

[Crankin]

Emily, I've always said we were separated at birth.