Saying nothing, not doing much is abit difficult

[Blueberry]

Sometimes there's absolutely nothing one can do. I'm certain half of her problem is eating at restaurants and never prepping any meal at home.

Wait, what -- her "problem?" What exactly is her problem? You describe her as an honest, pragmatic person with natural mechanical skills (something I envy). She golfs with friends, travels, enjoys kayaking, and knows a lot about cycling. Sounds like someone I'd like to meet (as long as there's not too much discussion about golf, but I digress).

I can't figure out how to express this politely so I will just say it -- such importance being attached to this woman's weight is disturbing to me.

I have debated responding to this thread - but since this is one of many, I feel I need to. I don't think this is necessarily intended, but this comes across as fat shaming (or whatever term you want to apply to the general judgments passed upon people with weight problems).

Since this woman doesn't model the OP's "good habits" of preparing all meals at home in a particular style of cooking, that is half of her "problem." Yet, the OP also admits she has injuries from car accidents - maybe there is a limit on her exercise, maybe she has endocrine issues, you just don't know. There are many assumptions that go into these kinds of judgments - some people don't have the time or resources to prepare healthy meals at home. There are plenty of studies out there saying that healthy eating is both time and money expensive. Doesn't sound like that is the issue here - but it is for a large number of people. Some people never learned to cook - it is something of an acquired skill. The OP mentions "eating occasional fattening thick pizza" with this woman. Are all of her meals like this?

I think I would have a lot in common with most of the women on TE - I bike (sometimes more than others - but I'm out there), I can ALWAYS go for a long walk or a hike (DH and I walked about 5 miles must for fun a couple of days ago), I go to the gym to supplement my exercise, and I swim. I do prepare most of my own meals from whole ingredients (generally minimally processed things, with few prepared sauces, etc.), mostly vegetables. I don't enjoy cooking for the most part - it takes time out of a generally overpacked schedule, but I do it for both health and financial reasons (eating high quality food out is expensive). Nevertheless, I have a weight problem. On the rare occasion I eat out, I will sometimes have a treat (probably less than once a month) - I might eat a small ice cream or a slice of pizza. People have actually said things to me about these occasional treats - people who don't know me, who have no idea what the rest of my lifestyle looks like, and who have absolutely no right to comment on my weight.

I completely understand a lifestyle difference being an issue with friendship - but I don't understand what seems to be a huge preoccupation with the weight of others or what they might eat during a few shared meals.